to get to the local animal shelter.
Dr. Hadley was very specific about getting an animal shelter pet. “Those pups are in need of homes, they were abandoned or taken out of their homes. You’ll see it in their faces as they watch you pass by, they’re just as eager to have a new lease on life as you are. You’ll see how unconditional love can really be.”
“What’s with the sudden want of me getting a dog?” I ask her. We could have done this any other day.
“It’s your Christmas present, from your brother.” James was in Santa Monica. Dessie didn’t want to tell me what happened between them, but I knew they were avoiding each other. They didn’t want me to worry, so they told me nothing.
“How is he?”
“Like you don’t know.” I talk to James about every other day. We’ve been getting really close again, just like when we were kids. Occasionally, he’ll throw in how Mathew is doing or what he is doing.
“I haven’t talked to him in a few days.”
“He’s fine. He’s enjoying Santa Monica. Your dad has him scouting potential places to live in.” As much as I hated to admit it, we were trust fund kids.
Now that I’ve been to hell and back, I knew what I wanted to do with my life, and where I wanted to go.
Photography was my life goal, Mathew is the love of my life, and I feel the need to spread awareness about mental illness.
If I had been more educated about it, about depression and about how one should and shouldn’t feel, maybe I wouldn't have gone years without a diagnosis. My mind tortured me for years, and I let it get in the way of me living life. That wasn’t going to happen anymore.
The volunteer left me alone so I could see which dog I liked, he went to go get some papers for me. Almost every dog waited eagerly by the fence of their small home to be touched. I didn’t know the first thing about owning a dog, so I was afraid of making a mistake.
As I got to the end of the shelter, I noticed a big dog. A Buddy look alike, you know the golden retriever from Air Bud. He was at the end of his little home, far away from me. He looked like he had just given up on life. He didn’t even look in my direction.
I looked at the name tag where it had his name and bits of information about him. His name is Bear. Bear had a long history with abuse, and he had been at this no kill shelter for a few months, he is only two years old, my eyes teared about up at the thought of someone hurting this beautiful animal.
“Bear.” I say and his head perked up. He turns his head towards me and I see his brown eyes. They looked so sad, but hopeful. “Come here, Bear.” The golden retriever walked over to me and gave me the biggest puppy eyes I’ve ever seen.
“You are so beautiful.” I rubbed his nose through the little holes from the gate. He was wagging his tail pretty fast.
“Someone is making him very happy.” My heart stopped for a second. I didn’t bother turning around, I couldn’t look at him.
I had heard from my mother that his sister was pregnant, and that they were going to spend the holidays in New York. James didn’t tell me he was going to be in Chicago. I needed more time to prepare.
“Pres…” I felt the need to cover up my left arm even though I haven’t harmed myself in over a month. I was ashamed of what I had put Mathew through. I made him keep my secrets without realizing how it would affect him mentally. I put him in a difficult position. “Please look at me, darling.”
I turned around and there he was. His sweater had little snowmen, it was very Christmas-y. I liked it. His green eyes were bright and he looked good. Maybe I had expected him to look worse?
“Matty. What are you doing here?”
“I heard you were coming to the shelter, I thought maybe I could help you out.” I realized then that James had set me and my mom up. He knew my mother would never have came into the shelter because of her allergy. Perfect moment to get us alone.
“Did you
Dr. Hadley was very specific about getting an animal shelter pet. “Those pups are in need of homes, they were abandoned or taken out of their homes. You’ll see it in their faces as they watch you pass by, they’re just as eager to have a new lease on life as you are. You’ll see how unconditional love can really be.”
“What’s with the sudden want of me getting a dog?” I ask her. We could have done this any other day.
“It’s your Christmas present, from your brother.” James was in Santa Monica. Dessie didn’t want to tell me what happened between them, but I knew they were avoiding each other. They didn’t want me to worry, so they told me nothing.
“How is he?”
“Like you don’t know.” I talk to James about every other day. We’ve been getting really close again, just like when we were kids. Occasionally, he’ll throw in how Mathew is doing or what he is doing.
“I haven’t talked to him in a few days.”
“He’s fine. He’s enjoying Santa Monica. Your dad has him scouting potential places to live in.” As much as I hated to admit it, we were trust fund kids.
Now that I’ve been to hell and back, I knew what I wanted to do with my life, and where I wanted to go.
Photography was my life goal, Mathew is the love of my life, and I feel the need to spread awareness about mental illness.
If I had been more educated about it, about depression and about how one should and shouldn’t feel, maybe I wouldn't have gone years without a diagnosis. My mind tortured me for years, and I let it get in the way of me living life. That wasn’t going to happen anymore.
The volunteer left me alone so I could see which dog I liked, he went to go get some papers for me. Almost every dog waited eagerly by the fence of their small home to be touched. I didn’t know the first thing about owning a dog, so I was afraid of making a mistake.
As I got to the end of the shelter, I noticed a big dog. A Buddy look alike, you know the golden retriever from Air Bud. He was at the end of his little home, far away from me. He looked like he had just given up on life. He didn’t even look in my direction.
I looked at the name tag where it had his name and bits of information about him. His name is Bear. Bear had a long history with abuse, and he had been at this no kill shelter for a few months, he is only two years old, my eyes teared about up at the thought of someone hurting this beautiful animal.
“Bear.” I say and his head perked up. He turns his head towards me and I see his brown eyes. They looked so sad, but hopeful. “Come here, Bear.” The golden retriever walked over to me and gave me the biggest puppy eyes I’ve ever seen.
“You are so beautiful.” I rubbed his nose through the little holes from the gate. He was wagging his tail pretty fast.
“Someone is making him very happy.” My heart stopped for a second. I didn’t bother turning around, I couldn’t look at him.
I had heard from my mother that his sister was pregnant, and that they were going to spend the holidays in New York. James didn’t tell me he was going to be in Chicago. I needed more time to prepare.
“Pres…” I felt the need to cover up my left arm even though I haven’t harmed myself in over a month. I was ashamed of what I had put Mathew through. I made him keep my secrets without realizing how it would affect him mentally. I put him in a difficult position. “Please look at me, darling.”
I turned around and there he was. His sweater had little snowmen, it was very Christmas-y. I liked it. His green eyes were bright and he looked good. Maybe I had expected him to look worse?
“Matty. What are you doing here?”
“I heard you were coming to the shelter, I thought maybe I could help you out.” I realized then that James had set me and my mom up. He knew my mother would never have came into the shelter because of her allergy. Perfect moment to get us alone.
“Did you
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