important to the principal shareholder, and that’s you.”
“I’ll give it some thought. Everything else can wait.” Alex rose stiffly from the chair, shook hands with the lawyer, and took the probate documents from him. “I’ll read all this and make some decisions. Just give me a few days, okay? And thank you for everything you’ve done for my family, Norm.”
Norman walked her out to the elevators. He seemed a little more relaxed than when she arrived. Some of the tightness around his mouth had disappeared, but Alex knew the heavy creases in his forehead were only one sign of the gravity he attached to his responsibilities to her family. Alex thanked him again for being patient and for the care he’d taken with her parents’ affairs. As she rode down, she realized she had finally moved from disbelief to a form of acceptance. Her parents were gone. The finality she’d refused to accept until now washed through her.
She sat in her old Mercedes coupe outside the lawyer’s office for a while. Her throat felt raw as a sickening feeling clawed its way up. Her eyes watered and stung, blurring her vision. She pounded her fists on the steering wheel as tears streamed down her face. It was the first time since the funeral she’d allowed herself to cry, and the timing couldn’t have been worse.
There were too many responsibilities, too many things demanding her time and energy. Entirely too many to waste time crying. But the feelings continued to bubble up and spill over. She’d stuffed them down, avoided them, ignored and denied them for too long.
“But why now?” Alex asked aloud, wiping her eyes on her shirt sleeve. “I don’t have time for a nervous breakdown.” Something her father said years ago came to mind: “You have to grieve your loss to embrace the future.” The tears began anew and she let them fall.
She thought about her mother’s perfectionist expectations and her father’s tenderness, constant encouragement, and acceptance of all things Alex. They’d only asked one thing of her, and that was to be happy. And it was the one thing Alex couldn’t give them.
It should be easy. Find your passion and the person who makes it all worthwhile and live. Right? Law enforcement was definitely her niche, but the personal component proved more elusive. The thought of disappointing her parents brought another round of soul-tearing sobs.
“I miss you so much.” She slammed her palms against the roof of the car. “I don’t know what to do about all this.”
She didn’t know if it was the business, loneliness, feeling like an orphan, or the feelings suddenly surfacing around Keri that upset her most. Alex buried her face in her hands and rubbed the tears from her eyes. She shook her head and hammered the lid shut on her emotions once again. Life needs my attention. I can’t fall apart.
She drove home mechanically and pulled into her driveway, scanning the street out of habit. With her keys already in hand, she walked to the house, unlocked the door, and went inside. Her living room was more welcoming now that she had decorated with some memorabilia of her parents’ lives. A picture of her parents occupied the focal point on the entryway table. Every day now she looked at them, celebrated their lives, and vowed to live hers more fully. She felt comfortable among their things and appreciative for the physical connection to her parents.
She knew Norman was right. It was time for her to take the responsibilities her parents had entrusted to her and make the decisions they would have expected. But the investigation was heating up and she needed to stay focused for a few more days. After that, she’d deal with the estate and everything else that seemed so splintered in her life at the moment.
Alex dropped into her father’s old leather recliner and picked up the rotary phone. She dialed the number and waited for the familiar, soothing voice.
“Hello?”
“Wayne, it’s Alex.”
“Alex,
“I’ll give it some thought. Everything else can wait.” Alex rose stiffly from the chair, shook hands with the lawyer, and took the probate documents from him. “I’ll read all this and make some decisions. Just give me a few days, okay? And thank you for everything you’ve done for my family, Norm.”
Norman walked her out to the elevators. He seemed a little more relaxed than when she arrived. Some of the tightness around his mouth had disappeared, but Alex knew the heavy creases in his forehead were only one sign of the gravity he attached to his responsibilities to her family. Alex thanked him again for being patient and for the care he’d taken with her parents’ affairs. As she rode down, she realized she had finally moved from disbelief to a form of acceptance. Her parents were gone. The finality she’d refused to accept until now washed through her.
She sat in her old Mercedes coupe outside the lawyer’s office for a while. Her throat felt raw as a sickening feeling clawed its way up. Her eyes watered and stung, blurring her vision. She pounded her fists on the steering wheel as tears streamed down her face. It was the first time since the funeral she’d allowed herself to cry, and the timing couldn’t have been worse.
There were too many responsibilities, too many things demanding her time and energy. Entirely too many to waste time crying. But the feelings continued to bubble up and spill over. She’d stuffed them down, avoided them, ignored and denied them for too long.
“But why now?” Alex asked aloud, wiping her eyes on her shirt sleeve. “I don’t have time for a nervous breakdown.” Something her father said years ago came to mind: “You have to grieve your loss to embrace the future.” The tears began anew and she let them fall.
She thought about her mother’s perfectionist expectations and her father’s tenderness, constant encouragement, and acceptance of all things Alex. They’d only asked one thing of her, and that was to be happy. And it was the one thing Alex couldn’t give them.
It should be easy. Find your passion and the person who makes it all worthwhile and live. Right? Law enforcement was definitely her niche, but the personal component proved more elusive. The thought of disappointing her parents brought another round of soul-tearing sobs.
“I miss you so much.” She slammed her palms against the roof of the car. “I don’t know what to do about all this.”
She didn’t know if it was the business, loneliness, feeling like an orphan, or the feelings suddenly surfacing around Keri that upset her most. Alex buried her face in her hands and rubbed the tears from her eyes. She shook her head and hammered the lid shut on her emotions once again. Life needs my attention. I can’t fall apart.
She drove home mechanically and pulled into her driveway, scanning the street out of habit. With her keys already in hand, she walked to the house, unlocked the door, and went inside. Her living room was more welcoming now that she had decorated with some memorabilia of her parents’ lives. A picture of her parents occupied the focal point on the entryway table. Every day now she looked at them, celebrated their lives, and vowed to live hers more fully. She felt comfortable among their things and appreciative for the physical connection to her parents.
She knew Norman was right. It was time for her to take the responsibilities her parents had entrusted to her and make the decisions they would have expected. But the investigation was heating up and she needed to stay focused for a few more days. After that, she’d deal with the estate and everything else that seemed so splintered in her life at the moment.
Alex dropped into her father’s old leather recliner and picked up the rotary phone. She dialed the number and waited for the familiar, soothing voice.
“Hello?”
“Wayne, it’s Alex.”
“Alex,
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