the edge o’ my favorite fishin’ spot.”
Widemouth bass? Holy shit, does Finn suck in the romance department or what? “Okay, that’s enough of that nonsense.” I stopped dancing and slapped him across the face, waiting impatiently for the two seconds it took him to come back online.
He lifted his hand to his cheek, frowning a little. “Damn, girl, that was a stinger.”
“Sorry, but you were making me sick. I had to do it.”
“Uh…sorry?”
I waved his concerns away “Never mind. Here’s the deal: we’re stuck in a haunted, spelled house on the Isle of Skye, and we need to escape. I just woke you up out of a trance, but I need you to pretend you’re still in it for a little while until I get Scrum and Tony out too. Got it?”
“I think so, yeah. But where are we exactly?” He tried to look around, but I grabbed him by the chin and made him focus on me.
“No time for that. Look into my eyes. Act like you love me, or you’ll get that witch on our butts before I finish being awesome.” Scrum was bearing down on us, dragging Sam with him. “I’ve got another date coming. Just take Sam dancing, and slap her across the face to get her out of that trance. We’re leaving through those doors over there. The glass ones.” I tilted my head in the direction of the terrace.
Finn’s eyebrows went up into his hairline. “Hold up … I thought you just said that you want me to slap the most powerful witch in the world while I’m dancin’ with her.”
I nodded. “Yep. That’s what I said.”
He shook his head. “Huh-uh. I don’t think so.” He frowned, looking over his shoulder at his back. “I ain’t got my bow with me for some reason.”
Wuss. “Okay, fine,” I ground out, quickly losing patience. “Stay here in this enchanted house full of ogres, trolls, and witches without your partner-in-life water sprite for the rest of eternity. See if I care.”
He glanced over at Becky who’d just been slapped by Spike and was holding her cheek with tears in her eyes. His jaw hardened. “Okay, fine. I’ll slap ‘er, but I ain’t gonna like it. And if she turns me into a snake, you gotta fix it.”
“No problem.” I said all peppy like. “I’ll start practicing magic and turn you right back into a fae with my very first spell.”
He looked at me and sighed. “No offense, Jayne, but that does not inspire confidence in my future.” It was the last thing he could get out before Scrum was inserting himself into the conversation.
“Hello, Jayne. I’d like to dance with you.” He stood stiffly with both arms rigid at his sides.
I glanced up at his hair and imagined I could see little bitty flies circling his non-shampooed head. “Let’s cut to the chase, shall we?” He opened his mouth to respond, but I didn’t give him time to even start. I slapped him hard, hoping it would be enough to get through to the real Scrum. Just behind me, I heard Finn doing the same thing to Sam and caught Jared out of the corner of my eye doing it first to Felicia and then to Tony. Sweet. Slap dancing. Way more fun than slam dancing in my book.
Chapter Thirteen
“TIM!” I SHOUTED AS LOUD as I could. I hadn’t heard his war cries in a while, and now that all my friends had been slapped silly and returned to the land of normal, it was time to go.
“Where is he?” Jared asked, walking over to stand at my right.
“He chased a couple monsters that way.” I pointed to the archway. “There, there be trolls.”
Jared and I glanced over in tandem at the other beasts that were on the floor; they’d danced themselves into exhaustion, but their legs were still twitching. “There be trolls over there, too.” I giggled at the picture they made. They weren’t nearly as scary when suffering seizures of happiness like that. They looked like they were trying to breakdance and failing miserably. It was probably how I’d look if I attempted anything of the sort.
“How are we not pixelated?” Jared
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