Lippershey. In 1608, Lippershey completed construction of the first telescope and attempted to receive a patent for it but was denied.
A few countries over, when Galileo heard about Lippershey’s work in 1609, he quickly built his own telescope, one that could see just a little bit farther than Lippershey’s. Necessary? Not particularly. Emasculating? Oh, you betcha. While Galileo never registered a patent, the fact remains that his name is synonymous with telescopes, while Lippershey’s name was quickly forgotten.
The lesson, as always, is that having an unwieldy, nonal iterative name that sounds like an STD is never good for your career.
4. ALEXANDER FLEMING
Sir Alexander Fleming is the name people think of when penicil in is brought up. There’s even a charming little story that accompanies it: Fleming’s father saved a little boy from drowning in Scotland, and the father of this boy vowed to fund the young Fleming’s education to repay the kindness. Eventual y, Fleming graduated from med school and discovered the healing nature of penicil in, which eventual y saved Winston Churchil ’s life when he was stricken with pneumonia. And who was the boy that Fleming’s father saved? Winston goddamned Churchil .
Two things. One, Churchil wasn’t treated with penicil in. Two, Fleming wasn’t the guy who discovered it. Just some asshole.
Who actually discovered it?
North African tribesmen had been using penicil in for thousands of years by the time Fleming was born. Also, in 1897 Ernest Duchesne used the mold Penicillum glaucoma to cure typhoid in guinea pigs, which was about the stupidest waste of time in the history of science but still proof that he understood the mold’s healing properties.
Other scientists at the time didn’t take him seriously, due to his age and strange preoccupation with guinea pigs, so he never received a patent. He died about ten years later, from a disease that would have been completely treatable with penicil in, and he was survived by his healthy, yet totally indifferent, guinea pigs.
Even when Fleming did accidental y discover penicil in years later, he didn’t think it could be used to help anyone, so he moved on. Meanwhile, scientists Howard Florey, Norman Heatley, Andrew Moyer, and Ernst Chain disagreed and worked with penicil in until they’d mastered it.
So even though Fleming wasn’t the first person to discover penicil in and didn’t actually believe penicil in was useful, he will forever go down in history as a penicil in-inventing, Winston Churchil -saving genius.
3. ALEXANDER GRAHAM BELL
For being the man behind the telephone, Bel sure loved deaf people. His wife was deaf, his mother was deaf, and he was even Helen Keller’s favorite teacher. With this near obsession with deaf people, it’s amazing that Bel found time to invent the telephone. Wait, not amazing . Impossible . That’s the one.
Who actually invented it?
In 1860, an Italian named Antonio Meucci first demonstrated his working telephone (though he called it the teletrofono , because Italian is a ridiculous language). In 1871, he filed a temporary patent, but in 1874 he failed to send in the ten dol ars necessary to renew his patent, because he was sick, poor, and Italian.
Two years later, Bel registered his telephone patent. Meucci attempted to sue, of course, but when he tried to retrieve the original sketches and plans he sent to a lab at Western Union, the records, amazingly, had disappeared. Where was Bel working at this time? The very same Western Union lab where Meucci swore he sent his original sketches.
Did Bel , given his convenient position at Western Union, destroy Meucci’s records and claim the telephone as his own invention? It’s difficult to say, though it has been argued fairly convincingly that, yes, of course he did. Absolutely. Most notably, by us just now. It makes sense, if you look at the facts: Bel already had a number of important inventions under his belt; it isn’t
A few countries over, when Galileo heard about Lippershey’s work in 1609, he quickly built his own telescope, one that could see just a little bit farther than Lippershey’s. Necessary? Not particularly. Emasculating? Oh, you betcha. While Galileo never registered a patent, the fact remains that his name is synonymous with telescopes, while Lippershey’s name was quickly forgotten.
The lesson, as always, is that having an unwieldy, nonal iterative name that sounds like an STD is never good for your career.
4. ALEXANDER FLEMING
Sir Alexander Fleming is the name people think of when penicil in is brought up. There’s even a charming little story that accompanies it: Fleming’s father saved a little boy from drowning in Scotland, and the father of this boy vowed to fund the young Fleming’s education to repay the kindness. Eventual y, Fleming graduated from med school and discovered the healing nature of penicil in, which eventual y saved Winston Churchil ’s life when he was stricken with pneumonia. And who was the boy that Fleming’s father saved? Winston goddamned Churchil .
Two things. One, Churchil wasn’t treated with penicil in. Two, Fleming wasn’t the guy who discovered it. Just some asshole.
Who actually discovered it?
North African tribesmen had been using penicil in for thousands of years by the time Fleming was born. Also, in 1897 Ernest Duchesne used the mold Penicillum glaucoma to cure typhoid in guinea pigs, which was about the stupidest waste of time in the history of science but still proof that he understood the mold’s healing properties.
Other scientists at the time didn’t take him seriously, due to his age and strange preoccupation with guinea pigs, so he never received a patent. He died about ten years later, from a disease that would have been completely treatable with penicil in, and he was survived by his healthy, yet totally indifferent, guinea pigs.
Even when Fleming did accidental y discover penicil in years later, he didn’t think it could be used to help anyone, so he moved on. Meanwhile, scientists Howard Florey, Norman Heatley, Andrew Moyer, and Ernst Chain disagreed and worked with penicil in until they’d mastered it.
So even though Fleming wasn’t the first person to discover penicil in and didn’t actually believe penicil in was useful, he will forever go down in history as a penicil in-inventing, Winston Churchil -saving genius.
3. ALEXANDER GRAHAM BELL
For being the man behind the telephone, Bel sure loved deaf people. His wife was deaf, his mother was deaf, and he was even Helen Keller’s favorite teacher. With this near obsession with deaf people, it’s amazing that Bel found time to invent the telephone. Wait, not amazing . Impossible . That’s the one.
Who actually invented it?
In 1860, an Italian named Antonio Meucci first demonstrated his working telephone (though he called it the teletrofono , because Italian is a ridiculous language). In 1871, he filed a temporary patent, but in 1874 he failed to send in the ten dol ars necessary to renew his patent, because he was sick, poor, and Italian.
Two years later, Bel registered his telephone patent. Meucci attempted to sue, of course, but when he tried to retrieve the original sketches and plans he sent to a lab at Western Union, the records, amazingly, had disappeared. Where was Bel working at this time? The very same Western Union lab where Meucci swore he sent his original sketches.
Did Bel , given his convenient position at Western Union, destroy Meucci’s records and claim the telephone as his own invention? It’s difficult to say, though it has been argued fairly convincingly that, yes, of course he did. Absolutely. Most notably, by us just now. It makes sense, if you look at the facts: Bel already had a number of important inventions under his belt; it isn’t
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