doofus ?”
“What?” I asked.
“No wonder you’re always fucking single.”
I couldn’t believe Roger was critiquing me on my romantic etiquette.
“Seriously,” Roger said. “You need help.”
“This from the man who once called his wife Frangipanidellasqueegymop?”
62 | SEAN KENNEDY
“Hey, I was drunk. And it was cute! It was from Strictly Ballroom .”
“Yeah, it was used as an insult against that character.”
Roger opened his mouth to try and defend himself once again, but luckily at that moment, I was saved from certain death by the roar of the crowd as Hawthorn ran out onto the field. I couldn’t believe he still really thought that Fran thought that was cute, but as he said, he was drunk at the time. And he didn’t know her well enough back then to properly interpret the expression on her face, although, one would think that now they had been together for almost six years that he would have cottoned on by now. From where we were sitting, the players appeared as very small yellow and brown specks on a green mass. But that didn’t matter to Roger, as he was out of his seat and jumping up and down like a man possessed.
Of course, I did the same a minute later when black and yellow blobs appeared on the opposite side of the green. All thoughts of romantic rules and regulations were quickly forgotten about in the face of the game.
RICHMOND lost, of course. Because they were playing Hawthorn, it wasn’t by much. Not that that really means a thing. Despite my loss, I was still strangely happy, and Roger couldn’t help but miss it as we made our way back to the tram stop to take us home.
“So, aren’t you going to tell us?”
“Tell you what?”
“You know what.”
I did know what, not that I was going to admit it.
“Declan Tyler called you at the game, didn’t he?” Roger asked. We paused at the kerb while waiting for the little man to turn to green, and we raced across the road as we could see our tram coming in the distance.
“Yes, he did,” I admitted.
“And?”
“And what?”
“This is like pulling fucking teeth,” Roger hissed. “How did he seem?”
“Fine.”
“Just fine?”
“Uh huh.”
“No mention of why no-no on the blow?”
I stared at him, trying to make sense of what he had just said. It finally hit me a moment later. “No, gross, Roger!”
TIGERS AND DEVILS | 63
Roger shrugged. The tram pulled up beside us, and we clambered on, opting for seats at the back. I stared out the window while Roger continued to press for details. “So what did he call you for, then?”
We passed under the lights of the French end of Collins Street, and the tram seemed aglow from within before it fell back into shadow under the edifice of Parliament House.
“To wish me luck for the game.”
Roger looked appalled. “That’s dangerous, that is.”
“Why? I did the same for him when he played on Friday.”
“You never wish another team luck!” Roger leaned forward, his earnest expression becoming intense. “It’s like betting against your own team in the office pool. You never do it .”
There was really no way I could refute that. I mean, I never bet against Richmond in the office pool, but it didn’t seem like I would be adding to their woes if I wished another team luck in a game the Tigers weren’t involved in.
“You must really like him,” Roger said solemnly.
“He’s okay,” I said flatly.
Roger chuckled to himself. “Hah, you really, really like him!”
Watching my best friend morphing into Sally Field was disturbing to say the least.
“Just admit it,” he provoked me.
“It’s too early to say one way or another,” I shrugged. He knew I was lying. I knew he knew I was lying. But the bonds of friendship meant that he couldn’t question me about it too much right at this point of time. But all gloves would probably be off after the second date.
I HADN’T been home for very long when another game of message tag began. Guess
“What?” I asked.
“No wonder you’re always fucking single.”
I couldn’t believe Roger was critiquing me on my romantic etiquette.
“Seriously,” Roger said. “You need help.”
“This from the man who once called his wife Frangipanidellasqueegymop?”
62 | SEAN KENNEDY
“Hey, I was drunk. And it was cute! It was from Strictly Ballroom .”
“Yeah, it was used as an insult against that character.”
Roger opened his mouth to try and defend himself once again, but luckily at that moment, I was saved from certain death by the roar of the crowd as Hawthorn ran out onto the field. I couldn’t believe he still really thought that Fran thought that was cute, but as he said, he was drunk at the time. And he didn’t know her well enough back then to properly interpret the expression on her face, although, one would think that now they had been together for almost six years that he would have cottoned on by now. From where we were sitting, the players appeared as very small yellow and brown specks on a green mass. But that didn’t matter to Roger, as he was out of his seat and jumping up and down like a man possessed.
Of course, I did the same a minute later when black and yellow blobs appeared on the opposite side of the green. All thoughts of romantic rules and regulations were quickly forgotten about in the face of the game.
RICHMOND lost, of course. Because they were playing Hawthorn, it wasn’t by much. Not that that really means a thing. Despite my loss, I was still strangely happy, and Roger couldn’t help but miss it as we made our way back to the tram stop to take us home.
“So, aren’t you going to tell us?”
“Tell you what?”
“You know what.”
I did know what, not that I was going to admit it.
“Declan Tyler called you at the game, didn’t he?” Roger asked. We paused at the kerb while waiting for the little man to turn to green, and we raced across the road as we could see our tram coming in the distance.
“Yes, he did,” I admitted.
“And?”
“And what?”
“This is like pulling fucking teeth,” Roger hissed. “How did he seem?”
“Fine.”
“Just fine?”
“Uh huh.”
“No mention of why no-no on the blow?”
I stared at him, trying to make sense of what he had just said. It finally hit me a moment later. “No, gross, Roger!”
TIGERS AND DEVILS | 63
Roger shrugged. The tram pulled up beside us, and we clambered on, opting for seats at the back. I stared out the window while Roger continued to press for details. “So what did he call you for, then?”
We passed under the lights of the French end of Collins Street, and the tram seemed aglow from within before it fell back into shadow under the edifice of Parliament House.
“To wish me luck for the game.”
Roger looked appalled. “That’s dangerous, that is.”
“Why? I did the same for him when he played on Friday.”
“You never wish another team luck!” Roger leaned forward, his earnest expression becoming intense. “It’s like betting against your own team in the office pool. You never do it .”
There was really no way I could refute that. I mean, I never bet against Richmond in the office pool, but it didn’t seem like I would be adding to their woes if I wished another team luck in a game the Tigers weren’t involved in.
“You must really like him,” Roger said solemnly.
“He’s okay,” I said flatly.
Roger chuckled to himself. “Hah, you really, really like him!”
Watching my best friend morphing into Sally Field was disturbing to say the least.
“Just admit it,” he provoked me.
“It’s too early to say one way or another,” I shrugged. He knew I was lying. I knew he knew I was lying. But the bonds of friendship meant that he couldn’t question me about it too much right at this point of time. But all gloves would probably be off after the second date.
I HADN’T been home for very long when another game of message tag began. Guess
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