common.
The need to find him, to know him, was like this heavy weight in my chest. I felt a stab of anger at the people behind RAGE – especially Rachel’s dad and that Lewis Michael guy. They had tried to kill Dad twice, forcing him to live apart from me and Mum. What had Mum said? He sees himself as a soldier, though not in any conventional army. Well I was going to be a soldier too. Fighting against RAGE’s bigotry.
Fighting side by side with my dad.
24
Rachel
If I hadn’t been so wound up about it myself, it would have made me laugh. Everyone at school was making out the school disco was going to be totally stupid. Yet by Wednesday lunchtime it was all anyone was talking about. Jemima kept on with these references to me and Theo all day. I knew what she was doing. She was making sure no one forgot I’d said I had a boyfriend, so that when he didn’t turn up she could totally humiliate me.
On Wednesday evening Theo called to find out where my dad was in Germany. I told him: Cologne. Theo seemed to think that his dad was there too, working undercover in some genetic research clinic. He was more determined to run off than ever. Nothing I said made any difference.
I told myself it didn’t matter, that I’d be able to convince him not to go, once we were face to face.
I spent the rest of the evening trying on clothes. Then Thursday evening trying them all on again. It was useless. I looked like a big blob in everything. In the end I decided to wear this knee-length blue skirt I’d had for a while. My bum was just too massive for trousers. I tried on every single top I owned with it. The only one I felt comfortable in was this big white smocky thing that covered me up completely.
Unfortunately, it made me look like a tent. No way could I wear it.
I still hadn’t chosen a replacement by six-thirty p.m. on Friday evening. Every centimetre of my bedroom carpet was covered with clothes. I was starting to panic. I was supposed to be meeting Theo outside my school at seven o’clock and I needed to allow ten minutes at least to walk up there.
I shut my eyes and reached round on the carpet. Please, please, let there be something here that I can wear.
My fingers clutched at something silky. I opened my eyes. It was a black blouse. Short-sleeved, with buttons up the front. I pulled it on and turned to face the mirror. The shirt was fairly loose, though shaped in a little at the waist. At least it covered up the top of my stomach. I checked the time. 6.38 p.m. It would have to do.
I sped into the bathroom and cleaned my teeth. How had I left so little time for my make-up and hair?
I smeared on some eyeshadow, then carefully slid Mum’s La Prairie mascara out of her make-up basket. She hates me borrowing her make-up – but it’s good stuff. All designer. And I needed all the help I could get.
I stroked on some mascara, then placed the tube back exactly where I’d found it. I dabbed some of Mum’s powder over my nose.
My face stared back at me from the mirror – anxious and ugly.
6.46.
I noticed a little arrow-shaped diamante hairgrip beside the sink and rammed it into the side of my hair. I tucked my hair over it, so the glittery bit didn’t show up so much.
6.47.
I had to go.
I ran out of the bathroom and back to my bedroom. I grabbed the money I’d got out of my account the day before. I was still intending to talk Theo out of his mad attempt to find his dad, but I wanted him to know I’d meant what I’d said about giving him money.
I turned to leave. Then noticed my bare feet.
Oh, God.
Shoes.
I pounded over to my wardrobe. Trainers. Slippers. School shoes. Flat sandals. No, no, no and no.
I bent down and started hauling shoes over my shoulder, desperately trying to find something that would look nice.
6.51.
Suppose Theo got there before I did. Suppose Jemima saw him and started talking to him.
I pulled out a pair of black high-heels that Mum had bought me a few months ago. ‘Elegant
The need to find him, to know him, was like this heavy weight in my chest. I felt a stab of anger at the people behind RAGE – especially Rachel’s dad and that Lewis Michael guy. They had tried to kill Dad twice, forcing him to live apart from me and Mum. What had Mum said? He sees himself as a soldier, though not in any conventional army. Well I was going to be a soldier too. Fighting against RAGE’s bigotry.
Fighting side by side with my dad.
24
Rachel
If I hadn’t been so wound up about it myself, it would have made me laugh. Everyone at school was making out the school disco was going to be totally stupid. Yet by Wednesday lunchtime it was all anyone was talking about. Jemima kept on with these references to me and Theo all day. I knew what she was doing. She was making sure no one forgot I’d said I had a boyfriend, so that when he didn’t turn up she could totally humiliate me.
On Wednesday evening Theo called to find out where my dad was in Germany. I told him: Cologne. Theo seemed to think that his dad was there too, working undercover in some genetic research clinic. He was more determined to run off than ever. Nothing I said made any difference.
I told myself it didn’t matter, that I’d be able to convince him not to go, once we were face to face.
I spent the rest of the evening trying on clothes. Then Thursday evening trying them all on again. It was useless. I looked like a big blob in everything. In the end I decided to wear this knee-length blue skirt I’d had for a while. My bum was just too massive for trousers. I tried on every single top I owned with it. The only one I felt comfortable in was this big white smocky thing that covered me up completely.
Unfortunately, it made me look like a tent. No way could I wear it.
I still hadn’t chosen a replacement by six-thirty p.m. on Friday evening. Every centimetre of my bedroom carpet was covered with clothes. I was starting to panic. I was supposed to be meeting Theo outside my school at seven o’clock and I needed to allow ten minutes at least to walk up there.
I shut my eyes and reached round on the carpet. Please, please, let there be something here that I can wear.
My fingers clutched at something silky. I opened my eyes. It was a black blouse. Short-sleeved, with buttons up the front. I pulled it on and turned to face the mirror. The shirt was fairly loose, though shaped in a little at the waist. At least it covered up the top of my stomach. I checked the time. 6.38 p.m. It would have to do.
I sped into the bathroom and cleaned my teeth. How had I left so little time for my make-up and hair?
I smeared on some eyeshadow, then carefully slid Mum’s La Prairie mascara out of her make-up basket. She hates me borrowing her make-up – but it’s good stuff. All designer. And I needed all the help I could get.
I stroked on some mascara, then placed the tube back exactly where I’d found it. I dabbed some of Mum’s powder over my nose.
My face stared back at me from the mirror – anxious and ugly.
6.46.
I noticed a little arrow-shaped diamante hairgrip beside the sink and rammed it into the side of my hair. I tucked my hair over it, so the glittery bit didn’t show up so much.
6.47.
I had to go.
I ran out of the bathroom and back to my bedroom. I grabbed the money I’d got out of my account the day before. I was still intending to talk Theo out of his mad attempt to find his dad, but I wanted him to know I’d meant what I’d said about giving him money.
I turned to leave. Then noticed my bare feet.
Oh, God.
Shoes.
I pounded over to my wardrobe. Trainers. Slippers. School shoes. Flat sandals. No, no, no and no.
I bent down and started hauling shoes over my shoulder, desperately trying to find something that would look nice.
6.51.
Suppose Theo got there before I did. Suppose Jemima saw him and started talking to him.
I pulled out a pair of black high-heels that Mum had bought me a few months ago. ‘Elegant
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