tired and my head is so empty and it’s so quiet on the other end of the line.
This is going to sound crazy, says Jameelah at some point, but will you cast a love spell with me tomorrow?
Sure, I say.
We have to be naked to do it.
Naked? Why?
Yeah you know there are very few love spells you can cast without hair or fingernails. But I did find one, it’s just that to do it you have to walk naked through a flower garden and throw rose petals, that’s it really. Oh, you also have to concentrate on your beloved and keep saying his name too. But no hair or anything weird like that, no ashes in a salad.
Where are we going to find a flower garden, I ask.
I thought we could do it at the playground, there’s a few flowers growing there.
Naked?
Yeah, it has to be at midnight anyway. I mean, otherwise it could be a bit difficult.
And what about the rose petals?
In the park, Tiergarten. We don’t need too many.
Okay I’ll do it with you.
Of course I’ll do it. I’ll do anything as long as it means Jameelah won’t be so distraught.
The next morning I ring the bell at Amir’s place but nobody answers. I ring it again and again until Tarik finally opens the door. He looks tired and it occurs to me that I haven’t seen him since the whole incident with Jasna happened.
Is Amir home, I ask.
Yeah but Amir can’t come out right now kiddo, Tarik says, Amir has to stay home and help me.
Can I talk to him for a second, it won’t take long.
No kiddo, that won’t work, says Tarik, really.
Has something happened?
No nothing happened. Go home, go out and enjoy your school break.
What about Amir?
Amir has other things to do right now.
I go back across the playground to our apartment.
What’s up, I wonder, why can’t Amir come out, it’s not really summer break if Amir isn’t around. Maybe Tarik is going to start locking Amir in the apartment too, no idea, but wait why would he. Tarik doesn’t mean us any harm, he’s just trying to keep the family together, that’s what Amir said, because Tarik’s the oldest and the oldest has to keep the family together, he said, but all I could think was what is there to hold together, honestly, everything’s already in tatters, even more so than with me or Jameelah.
Jameelah comes over in the evening. Mama phones Noura to tell her that Jameelah is staying over at our place. This time it’s actually true, at least halfway. We put on our pyjamas and cart a bunch of food into my room and then the doorbell rings and when I open it Amir is standing there.
Can I come in for a second, he says.
Man, I say, I tried you a thousand times.
I don’t have a lot of time, he says.
He looks pale and gaunt, the corners of his mouth are cracked, and the splotch under his eye is still blue. It looks like nothing on him can heal at the moment. He’s holding a Reebok shoebox that’s taped shut.
I want you to take care of this, he says, in case something happens to me or whatever you have to keep it for me.
What’s going to happen to you, come on don’t scare me.
It’s not about dying or whatever, everything’s fine. So you’ll take care of it for me?
It’s not about dying, what do you mean it’s not about dying, what are you talking about?
Settle down, says Amir, it was just an example, man, girls always panic straight away. I just want you to look after the box, don’t open it no matter what happens, just look after it. Will you do it?
Sure I’ll look after it, I say, but you can still tell me what’s up.
No matter what happens don’t open it. Promise.
I promise.
Don’t worry, says Amir, everything’s fine.
Right, everything’s fine, the hell it is, I say. But Amir just gets up, mumbles goodbye and leaves me standing there with the stupid shoebox. Jessi comes running out.
Who was it, she asks.
Nobody, get lost.
It was Amir, she says, I’m not stupid. What’s up with him, does he have AIDS or something? He looks so messed up.
No but you’re going to get
This is going to sound crazy, says Jameelah at some point, but will you cast a love spell with me tomorrow?
Sure, I say.
We have to be naked to do it.
Naked? Why?
Yeah you know there are very few love spells you can cast without hair or fingernails. But I did find one, it’s just that to do it you have to walk naked through a flower garden and throw rose petals, that’s it really. Oh, you also have to concentrate on your beloved and keep saying his name too. But no hair or anything weird like that, no ashes in a salad.
Where are we going to find a flower garden, I ask.
I thought we could do it at the playground, there’s a few flowers growing there.
Naked?
Yeah, it has to be at midnight anyway. I mean, otherwise it could be a bit difficult.
And what about the rose petals?
In the park, Tiergarten. We don’t need too many.
Okay I’ll do it with you.
Of course I’ll do it. I’ll do anything as long as it means Jameelah won’t be so distraught.
The next morning I ring the bell at Amir’s place but nobody answers. I ring it again and again until Tarik finally opens the door. He looks tired and it occurs to me that I haven’t seen him since the whole incident with Jasna happened.
Is Amir home, I ask.
Yeah but Amir can’t come out right now kiddo, Tarik says, Amir has to stay home and help me.
Can I talk to him for a second, it won’t take long.
No kiddo, that won’t work, says Tarik, really.
Has something happened?
No nothing happened. Go home, go out and enjoy your school break.
What about Amir?
Amir has other things to do right now.
I go back across the playground to our apartment.
What’s up, I wonder, why can’t Amir come out, it’s not really summer break if Amir isn’t around. Maybe Tarik is going to start locking Amir in the apartment too, no idea, but wait why would he. Tarik doesn’t mean us any harm, he’s just trying to keep the family together, that’s what Amir said, because Tarik’s the oldest and the oldest has to keep the family together, he said, but all I could think was what is there to hold together, honestly, everything’s already in tatters, even more so than with me or Jameelah.
Jameelah comes over in the evening. Mama phones Noura to tell her that Jameelah is staying over at our place. This time it’s actually true, at least halfway. We put on our pyjamas and cart a bunch of food into my room and then the doorbell rings and when I open it Amir is standing there.
Can I come in for a second, he says.
Man, I say, I tried you a thousand times.
I don’t have a lot of time, he says.
He looks pale and gaunt, the corners of his mouth are cracked, and the splotch under his eye is still blue. It looks like nothing on him can heal at the moment. He’s holding a Reebok shoebox that’s taped shut.
I want you to take care of this, he says, in case something happens to me or whatever you have to keep it for me.
What’s going to happen to you, come on don’t scare me.
It’s not about dying or whatever, everything’s fine. So you’ll take care of it for me?
It’s not about dying, what do you mean it’s not about dying, what are you talking about?
Settle down, says Amir, it was just an example, man, girls always panic straight away. I just want you to look after the box, don’t open it no matter what happens, just look after it. Will you do it?
Sure I’ll look after it, I say, but you can still tell me what’s up.
No matter what happens don’t open it. Promise.
I promise.
Don’t worry, says Amir, everything’s fine.
Right, everything’s fine, the hell it is, I say. But Amir just gets up, mumbles goodbye and leaves me standing there with the stupid shoebox. Jessi comes running out.
Who was it, she asks.
Nobody, get lost.
It was Amir, she says, I’m not stupid. What’s up with him, does he have AIDS or something? He looks so messed up.
No but you’re going to get
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