Tiddas by Anita Heiss

confessions of recent weeks.
    â€˜I’m seeing a therapist,’ Veronica said softly, looking around to make sure no-one else in the restaurant could hear. ‘A Jungian therapist.’
    â€˜Why?’ Nadine asked. ‘You are more together than any of us.’ It was meant to be a compliment to Veronica, but came out as a slap in the face to the others.
    â€˜Speak for yourself,’ Ellen said.
    Veronica ignored Ellen and for the first time kept the focus on herself. ‘I can’t remember the last time I was happy. I just want to be happy again. I think I’ve done a good job keeping my depression at bay by exercising and being healthy. I don’t want to take medication. And I’ve given up caffeine; it seems to exacerbate every emotion, in a negative way.
    â€˜You will be happy, Vee, it’s just going to take some time.’
    â€˜But how long? How much time does it take? I can’t keep going on like this.’ Veronica started weeping. ‘Bloody hell. I’m paying this woman and I sit there and cry, and then I go home and cry, and now I’m here crying.’
    â€˜What does the therapist say, Vee?’ Izzy hoped Veronica was getting some decent advice.
    â€˜She thinks I might be bipolar . . .’ Veronica broke down in tears again.
    â€˜Oh for fuck’s sake, you’re not bipolar, or ADHADBDFEFG or whatever the fuck they call it these days,’ Ellen said, exasperated.
    â€˜That’s not the politically correct term, Ellen,’ Xanthe said. ‘And what do you know about being bipolar, or having ADHD?’
    â€˜The point I am trying to make to our dear friend,’ Ellen looked directly at Veronica, ‘is that you’re just sad and emotional. Crying isn’t a bad thing. It’s a way of releasing what you feel.’
    â€˜Tears are the cleanest water you can wash your face with,’ Nadine added. ‘That’s what your mother always tells the kids anyway,’ she said to Izzy.
    Ellen glared at Nadine. She was trying to have a serious, sensible conversation with someone who was clearly sad, perhaps suffering from depression, but who should not be diagnosed by someone not qualified to do it. ‘I’m so over people labelling everyone with a medical condition when sometimes it’s just about heartache or pain or sadness. I see sad people every day. They are overcome with grief. Sometimes it takes years for them to recover. But they are not sick, they do not have a mental illness, they are just fucking sad.’
    â€˜It’s like adults are bipolar, kids have ADHD and every second person is allergic to something,’ Nadine agreed, surprising the others. ‘None of us had anaphylactic fits at school. My kids can’t even take peanut butter sandwiches for their lunch anymore, did you know that?’ Nadine was over the limit in her usual fashion but the other women did their best to ignore her and focus on Veronica.
    â€˜I’m fine, I’m going to be fine,’ Veronica said. ‘I just need to keep busy, I need a new focus.’ She blew her nose. ‘The boys are all doing their own thing, they don’t want to be hanging out with their mother. You are the only other people in my life, my only real friends and I’m feeling really socially isolated now. That’s what happens when you focus all your energy on your family and have no outside interests. I really need to change that.’
    â€˜You know what they say, Vee, the quickest way to get over a man is to get under another one.’ Ellen’s words were outrageous.
    Nadine wanted to slap Ellen. ‘For fuck’s sake, she doesn’t need another bloke.’
    â€˜I don’t need or want another man, I just want a life, a meaningful life, for me! ’ Veronica put her hand on her chest, acknowledging that her commitment over a solid two decades had been about creating meaningful lives for her