children and husband. Heâd walked out on her two years ago for another woman and sheâd been grieving ever since. But it was time to stop. It was her turn to live, her turn to be supported, and her turn to be loved.
âAnyway, Iâve never been with another man. I donât even think I could trust another one.â
âAmen to that!â Ellen said. âWe donât need men to be happy, Vee, and some of us donât need children either.â Ellen could feel Xantheâs look but said nothing more. She knew only too well that happiness came from within. No man or kid could be expected to make a woman happy if she wasnât already mostly there.
âYouâre right, Ellen, and even just talking about this with you is making me feel better. Thank you,â Veronica said gratefully.
âDo you need to go to the therapist though, Vee?â Izzy asked. âI mean we can listen if you just want to talk.â
âAnd we can cry with you too,â Xanthe offered.
âHonestly, I am feeling a bit better, but I will go back to her because I promised myself at least six sessions. Iâm committed to giving it a good go. She did come highly recommended.â
As if on cue the waiter returned to clear the plates from the table.
âIâll be back in a second,â Veronica said. âJust going to the ladies.â
âYou want me to come with you?â Ellen asked, half raising herself from her seat.
âNo, sit down. Iâm fine. I just need to pee.â Veronica glanced at the waiter and smiled. He had heard her.
As soon as she had left the table, the other tiddas expressed their concern â and their guilt â at not supporting Veronica in her time of need.
âSheâs always been there for me when I need to debrief after a really draining service. I usually call her on the way home and just off-load,â Ellen said.
âShe lets me talk about pregnancy like sheâs never even heard me mention it before,â Xanthe admitted.
âAs the other white woman in this group, sometimes sheâs the only one who knows what itâs like,â Nadine said to the surprise of the three Koori women who each wonderedwhether it was the booze talking now or if Nadine actually did feel there was some kind of separatist action going on.
Izzy put her hand on her belly. âI really just love her. I feel awful that Vee doesnât feel supported enough.â
âI think we should organise a fortieth for her,â Ellen said.
âIâm in,â Nadine said. âI can do some research on it.â
âIâll be there too, of course,â Xanthe said, with slight hesitation, always thinking about her baby plans, whether or not sheâd be doing IVF when Veronicaâs birthday rolled around.
5
RENO-DATING
A s the weather turned cooler during May, Ellen found it a little harder to get up and go running in the mornings. But as she made her way to the river she still found an unexpected appreciation for urban life. It had hit her in the face like a refreshing wind on a hot day when she first moved to Brisbane, and the feeling didnât wane with the falling temperatures. Looking across the river to the towers that peppered the city streets, Ellen was surprised that such a landscape could nourish her spirit at all after growing up on lush Wiradjuri country. Even during the floods she chose to focus on the magic and strength of the river rather than the devastation.
Every morning she ran from one end of Kangaroo Point under the Story Bridge to the Friendship Bridge at South Bank and back. She passed groups of joggers, boot campers, mothers with prams, strolling retirees and cyclists talkingto each other about subjects she sometimes didnât want to hear about.
Of an evening she would walk in the other direction out of the heat of the westerly sun. There was a different crowd at night and it was less hectic. Ellen was one of
âAnyway, Iâve never been with another man. I donât even think I could trust another one.â
âAmen to that!â Ellen said. âWe donât need men to be happy, Vee, and some of us donât need children either.â Ellen could feel Xantheâs look but said nothing more. She knew only too well that happiness came from within. No man or kid could be expected to make a woman happy if she wasnât already mostly there.
âYouâre right, Ellen, and even just talking about this with you is making me feel better. Thank you,â Veronica said gratefully.
âDo you need to go to the therapist though, Vee?â Izzy asked. âI mean we can listen if you just want to talk.â
âAnd we can cry with you too,â Xanthe offered.
âHonestly, I am feeling a bit better, but I will go back to her because I promised myself at least six sessions. Iâm committed to giving it a good go. She did come highly recommended.â
As if on cue the waiter returned to clear the plates from the table.
âIâll be back in a second,â Veronica said. âJust going to the ladies.â
âYou want me to come with you?â Ellen asked, half raising herself from her seat.
âNo, sit down. Iâm fine. I just need to pee.â Veronica glanced at the waiter and smiled. He had heard her.
As soon as she had left the table, the other tiddas expressed their concern â and their guilt â at not supporting Veronica in her time of need.
âSheâs always been there for me when I need to debrief after a really draining service. I usually call her on the way home and just off-load,â Ellen said.
âShe lets me talk about pregnancy like sheâs never even heard me mention it before,â Xanthe admitted.
âAs the other white woman in this group, sometimes sheâs the only one who knows what itâs like,â Nadine said to the surprise of the three Koori women who each wonderedwhether it was the booze talking now or if Nadine actually did feel there was some kind of separatist action going on.
Izzy put her hand on her belly. âI really just love her. I feel awful that Vee doesnât feel supported enough.â
âI think we should organise a fortieth for her,â Ellen said.
âIâm in,â Nadine said. âI can do some research on it.â
âIâll be there too, of course,â Xanthe said, with slight hesitation, always thinking about her baby plans, whether or not sheâd be doing IVF when Veronicaâs birthday rolled around.
5
RENO-DATING
A s the weather turned cooler during May, Ellen found it a little harder to get up and go running in the mornings. But as she made her way to the river she still found an unexpected appreciation for urban life. It had hit her in the face like a refreshing wind on a hot day when she first moved to Brisbane, and the feeling didnât wane with the falling temperatures. Looking across the river to the towers that peppered the city streets, Ellen was surprised that such a landscape could nourish her spirit at all after growing up on lush Wiradjuri country. Even during the floods she chose to focus on the magic and strength of the river rather than the devastation.
Every morning she ran from one end of Kangaroo Point under the Story Bridge to the Friendship Bridge at South Bank and back. She passed groups of joggers, boot campers, mothers with prams, strolling retirees and cyclists talkingto each other about subjects she sometimes didnât want to hear about.
Of an evening she would walk in the other direction out of the heat of the westerly sun. There was a different crowd at night and it was less hectic. Ellen was one of
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