Three Sides of the Tracks by Mike Addington

puzzled then his face lit up. “Oh, genetics. You’re talking
about genetics.”
    “That’s what I said, ain’t it?”
    “Yeah, yeah, Bernard; I didn’t get what you meant at first.”
     A few silent minutes ensued then Danny mumbled, “I just can’t understand
why mother and Martin didn’t get married.”
    “Heh, heh, heh. Boy, I know you drink a little bit ‘cause I seen you come
home wobbly like sometimes, throwin’ up and what not, but I bet you a silver
dollar you ain’t never smoked no weed or done no dope, have you?”
    “Well, I tried to smoke some pot one time but it hurt my lungs so bad I
got to coughing and, well, I just didn’t like it. Why?”
    “ ‘Cause gittin’ high opens yore mind up, boy. I’m tellin’ ya; it helps
ya see thangs in a different way. Bullshit don’t mean so much; you see right
through it. Now, I ain’t saying stay high all day like I do half the time. Just
once in a while to keep yourself stable, grounded. Hell, you’ve got somethin’
to do. Me, I done mine, and I’m just waitin’ around.”
    “What do you mean, Bernard? Do what? Waiting on what?”
    Bernard chuckled. “Everybody’s got one great thing to do in their life.
Some people’s got more than one, but everybody has at least one. Somethin’ you
really put yourself into. All of yourself. You feel alive, boy. Feel alive. I
don’t know what it might be. Might be training for some big, big race and
overcoming lots of odds to just be in the race. Could be savin’ somebody’s life
or going after that great beauty and you catch her and you both fall in love
like all git out.” Bernard exhaled a cloud of cigarette smoke. “Yep, could be
anything. Mine was the Nam. Bunch of shit happened over there, boy, but we
ain’t talkin’ ‘bout me.”
    Danny sensibly stayed silent while Bernard rocked. His eyes seemed to be
looking far, far away.
    Bernard broke the silence.
    “Take your momma, for example. You see, it’s like this, or this is how I
got it figured anyhow. Yore momma and Martin being real close and all, probably
got real, I mean real friendly one night, and then he went off to school or I
think it was the Air Force. Anyway, it don’t matter; he went off somewhere and
never knew that your momma got pregnant from that real fine night they had
together. Then one day she felt a little different than she normally did and
one thang led to another and she knew she was gonna have a baby. Now, you got
to think and get your mind around to understanding that she wadn’t even as old
as you are right now when all this happened. Think ‘bout that when you’re
trying to picture all this in yore head. What does she do? She don’t want to
call Martin, ruin his plans and all that. She’s thinking more of him than of
herself ‘cause she loves him. And she loves you too. Soon as she found out you
was in her, she started lovin’ you. That’s the way women is. Can’t nothin’ come
‘tween a woman and her child, boy; you best believe that. Anyhow, I ain’t sure
how Robert come into the picture, but it worked out time wise good enough for
everybody to think you was his kid. And ole Martin never suspected a thing.”
    Bernard chuckled. “He was probably mad as hell your momma didn’t wait on
his butt. Wait till he got outta the service.”
    “Yeah, yore momma had it pretty rough there for a while, pretty rough.
Plus, they all ganged up on her for marrying Robert, and them sneakin’ off and
gettin’ married. But, hell, what was she gonna do? Them relatives of hers
would’ve show nuff had a shit fit if she’d come up pregnant without bein’
married. Heh, heh, heh,” Bernard chuckled.
    Bernard looked at Danny, who sat transfixed, staring into Bernard’s whiskery
face. “Quite a story there, ain’t it, Danny boy?”
    Danny—wide eye’d and mouth agape—nodded.
    “Want my advice?”
    Danny nodded again.
    “Go in the house, in the bedroom and look behind the Bible in my
nightstand drawer. There’s a