Their New Beginning (Oh Captain, My Captain #5) by Lindsay Paige, Mary Smith, Rebecca Cartee

remember. It would be hard to forget with all I had to hear the next morning. Those walls were thinner than I thought.”
    “We didn’t sleep that night, did we?” I smile at the memory.
    “No,” he softly chuckles. “Did I ever tell you that I got in trouble at practice the next day? I kept nodding off while I was standing up, but it was worth it.”
    “What?” I turn on my side to look at him. He’s still looking up. “You never told me that.” I laugh. “That was the first night we talked about kids, too.”
    “I don’t think there was anything we didn’t talk about that night. I remember thinking you were too good to be true because you seemed so perfect.” His voice drops low. I didn’t know that either. \
    “That’s funny because I thought the same thing about you. I fell in love with you that night,” I tell him honestly. “I called Regina the next day and told her I’d found my soulmate. Of course, she laughed at me, but I knew. I knew that I loved you and that we would always be together.” I think back to that night, and one memory stands out. “However, the vanilla ice cream may have sealed the deal.” I giggle, remembering him licking it off my body.
    He smiles. “It was definitely the ice cream.” He turns on his side and mirrors my position. “Really? That night you knew?”
    I nod. “I did. We talked about everything, did everything, and it was the most magical evening I’d ever had. It was all because of you, and I knew that you were the one. That’s why when you asked me to marry you three weeks later, I did. I never had a doubt in my mind. Until–” I trail off.
    “Until I stopped acting like your husband and started this domino effect.” His face is sad.
    I need to own up to my mistake, and this is a perfect time to tell him everything, because he really can’t leave the room.
    “You may not want to hear this, but when he left, all I thought about was how I was the one who let you down. I couldn’t believe I’d ruined everything you and I had built together. I was so selfish, Jax. It’s not your fault we’re in the mess; it’s mine. I can’t blame you for it because I should have been woman enough to tell you what I was feeling and not hiding at the hospital night after night. But, I thought... I thought you stopped loving me and I wasn’t good enough for you anymore.” I shut my eyes.
    “That’s why it’s my fault, too though. You’re my wife and the love of my life and I didn’t show you because I was too concerned about my job and how well I played.” I open my eyes at his words. “That bothers me every day, even more so that it took you pointing it out for me to realize it. I don’t know how I could have been too blind to see it. I never thought I would have picked hockey over anyone, especially not over you.”
    “Jax, I knew that it was your love and job, but my whole life, I have always been number two. I was the baby, and even though Regina tried, she’s so much older than I am and she didn’t need me. Mom always picked whatever husband she was with at that time. For the first time in my life…” I sigh, feeling the pain of my life washing over me. “You treated me like number one for the longest time and then it stopped. And like all the other times in my life, I was clawing to be number one again. I got tired of it, so I just gave up. I never thought you would hurt me like that. I trusted you that much.”
    “I wish you hadn’t just given up,” Jax tells me softly. “It’s over and done with now, though. I’m sorry for hurting you, Avery.”
    I take a chance and move closer to him. His whole body tenses. He knows that I’m only wearing a T-shirt and he’s only in boxers.
    “Pretend you still trust me,” I beg as he lets me touch his cheek. He doesn’t move, but he watches me lean in. Even though I want to do more, I briefly touch his lips with mine. I love the feel of his soft full lips against mine. When I release him, I roll