we touch our friends so little—proof of the lack of evolution that there has been in friendship. Someone can be your friend and maybe never manage to come closer to you than six inches, or never give you a big hug, or never see you asleep or watch you wake up. To see how someone wakes up, how anyone wakes up, creates a sensation of closeness, of seeing someone being born, seeing them return to life; it’s like a thousand, a hundred thousand conversations.
All the Eggheads, when we were in the hospital, sleeping next to one another, saw each other wake up a lot. They saw me wake up; I saw them wake up. Nobody should have to wait for a trip or an illness to see how someone sleeps and wakes up. It’s something you can look for. The important thing to remember is that yellows are not just friends; friendship has very little feeling in it, very little touching, very little stroking.
I think that in friendship talking is overrated and touching is underrated; the physical distance that separates two friends isn’t thought about enough.
I’ve always thought that it’s unfair that your partner should get 95 percent of all your physical contact. Nobody would put 95 percent of their money in a single bank, but you put 95 percent of your caresses, of your hugs, into a singleperson. This is where mistakes are born. This is why there are so many infidelities. This is why people feel so alone; this is why you notice a lack of physical contact, of affection, of caresses.
Now that we’ve got to this point the question has to be asked: Can you have sex with a yellow? And another question is also going through your head: If we’re talking about yellows, do we mean men or women?
Maybe these questions are only occurring to you now, or maybe they’ve been there from the first moment that I started to talk about this concept. Be that as it may, I have to make it clear that my reply is conditioned by what I think, by the way in which I have found and cultivated my yellows.
Yellows are defined by affection, stroking, and hugging. When I talk about sleeping together and waking up together, I’m talking about loss (sleep) and waking up (rebirth); I’m not talking about sex. It isn’t convenient to have sex with a yellow. Of course you could, but I think that the important thing about a yellow, about the concept of yellowness, about the essence of yellowhood, is that yellows occupy space that had previously been taken up by friendship. They get 40 percent physical contact, whereas beforehand friends got only maybe 3 percent.
Now that we’re here, I think it might be a good idea to redefine yellows.
Yellow: A person who is special in your life. Yellows are found among your friends and lovers. It’s not necessary to see them regularly or keep in touch with them. Relationships between yellows are based on affection,stroking, and hugging. They have privileges that previously were the unique possession of a partner.
I will try to make a list of things that can be done with a yellow. The list, like everything in this book, needn’t be obeyed, still less followed slavishly. Of course, each person has to decide what works and does not work for him. It’s not a philosophy, it’s not a religion; it’s just lessons from cancer applied to life, and that’s how it should be understood. So there’s not really any room for debate. I know that someone’s going to say: “You can sleep with a yellow.” Someone else will think: “Yellows are your life partners.” Another person would say: “All this nonsense about yellows doesn’t make any sense. I’ve always had friends that I’ve done all this stuff with that you say you’ve got to do with your yellows.” My response to all this: “That’s fine, great.” Everyone has their own friends and their own way of dealing with them. Like one of the hospital psychologists said: “Luck means being just the way you are. The shame of it is that you can’t understand what other people are
All the Eggheads, when we were in the hospital, sleeping next to one another, saw each other wake up a lot. They saw me wake up; I saw them wake up. Nobody should have to wait for a trip or an illness to see how someone sleeps and wakes up. It’s something you can look for. The important thing to remember is that yellows are not just friends; friendship has very little feeling in it, very little touching, very little stroking.
I think that in friendship talking is overrated and touching is underrated; the physical distance that separates two friends isn’t thought about enough.
I’ve always thought that it’s unfair that your partner should get 95 percent of all your physical contact. Nobody would put 95 percent of their money in a single bank, but you put 95 percent of your caresses, of your hugs, into a singleperson. This is where mistakes are born. This is why there are so many infidelities. This is why people feel so alone; this is why you notice a lack of physical contact, of affection, of caresses.
Now that we’ve got to this point the question has to be asked: Can you have sex with a yellow? And another question is also going through your head: If we’re talking about yellows, do we mean men or women?
Maybe these questions are only occurring to you now, or maybe they’ve been there from the first moment that I started to talk about this concept. Be that as it may, I have to make it clear that my reply is conditioned by what I think, by the way in which I have found and cultivated my yellows.
Yellows are defined by affection, stroking, and hugging. When I talk about sleeping together and waking up together, I’m talking about loss (sleep) and waking up (rebirth); I’m not talking about sex. It isn’t convenient to have sex with a yellow. Of course you could, but I think that the important thing about a yellow, about the concept of yellowness, about the essence of yellowhood, is that yellows occupy space that had previously been taken up by friendship. They get 40 percent physical contact, whereas beforehand friends got only maybe 3 percent.
Now that we’re here, I think it might be a good idea to redefine yellows.
Yellow: A person who is special in your life. Yellows are found among your friends and lovers. It’s not necessary to see them regularly or keep in touch with them. Relationships between yellows are based on affection,stroking, and hugging. They have privileges that previously were the unique possession of a partner.
I will try to make a list of things that can be done with a yellow. The list, like everything in this book, needn’t be obeyed, still less followed slavishly. Of course, each person has to decide what works and does not work for him. It’s not a philosophy, it’s not a religion; it’s just lessons from cancer applied to life, and that’s how it should be understood. So there’s not really any room for debate. I know that someone’s going to say: “You can sleep with a yellow.” Someone else will think: “Yellows are your life partners.” Another person would say: “All this nonsense about yellows doesn’t make any sense. I’ve always had friends that I’ve done all this stuff with that you say you’ve got to do with your yellows.” My response to all this: “That’s fine, great.” Everyone has their own friends and their own way of dealing with them. Like one of the hospital psychologists said: “Luck means being just the way you are. The shame of it is that you can’t understand what other people are
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