flying into the air had been cleaned up, and Garvan soon walked me to a small table where he and I could sit and visit. Mercel brought another serving of roast and vegetables, and an even bigger helping of raspberry chocolate cheesecake.
“Sorry for the unpleasantness,” said Garvan. “Like I told you before, they don’t all hate you. Most of them are deeply concerned about what happens to you and your baby to be, Txema. But don’t ever venture outside alone again—at any time day or night. I hope you understand that from here on out it will be far too dangerous, and with so much to lose. Others will be waiting for you to slip up.”
“And then what?”
I hated coming across so flippantly, but the adrenaline was dumping out of my system and my blood sugar had dropped to where my extremities were going numb. I had exactly zero fucks left to give. I didn’t wait for an answer, and dug into my food ravenously. It tasted fantastic, and I resented the fact my body wouldn’t let me savor this moment. I’m sure I looked like an animal in my gorgeous gown, only one step away from eating with my hands instead of the delicate cutlery Mercel had provided.
Garvan smirked sadly and shrugged.
“I won’t be able to protect you. None of us will be able to do a damned thing… I’ll be left to cry tears of blood whenever I think of you.
Every
day. Until eventually sorrow turns to anger and then rage as the last of our kind becomes extinct, and the unchallenged reign of Ralu begins.”
’m sure most folks would assume after such a statement that the night would’ve become a complete bust for me. It almost did. Luckily, Garvan lightened up after sharing the biggest glimpse into his soul that I’d seen up until then. The very things he feared as a vampire are not that different from those of us still human. All of my entourage likely feared the same things, and it would not surprise me if Gustav himself has similar misgivings. Not to mention that he did still have a soul, which was sort of surprising. I was getting very cynical and it kind of hurt my feelings to have this realization about myself.
It was easy for me to be selfish and self-centered. I was at least self-aware enough to realize this. I could blame it on being an only daughter, or on the generation to which I was born as so many seem to want to do. Or, I’m sure, so many other things if I spent the time to look. In reality I think it is simple human nature. Empathy was also human nature, and when we stopped looking inside for a bit and started looking at others, we could see how we hurt those around us without even realizing it. Once we realized we are hurting others is when we have to make a choice, and that choice is what defines us as being selfish or not. My choice was to start putting forth the effort to let Garvan know that I cared deeply about him as more than a guardian for me and my unborn daughter. As I picked over my dinner and the desert (
amazing
by the way) we talked about plans after she was born, and I reassured him I still wanted him to be in my life.
That seemed to be enough for him. It at least lifted his demeanor to where he wanted to dance and play like everyone having fun in the aerial waltz. Dancing with vampires is a different experience, since several times I was sent airborne by one—Garvan or Armando—and then caught gently by Franz or Chanson. And, like with the girls I used to go clubbing with back in Richmond and Knoxville, Raquel, Tyreen, and Chanson danced with me sans the guys. I even did the ‘Charleston’ with Armando where we nearly crashed into Nora and Kazikli. At least we had fun laughing about it.
Everything was strange in that way. But it was such a blast!
We partied well into the night, but by 3:00 a.m. security guards moved in to stop the festivities. Gustav stood before us, along with Huangtian Dadi and Xuanxang―the only time I saw either of them that night. After a brief Christmas benediction, Gustav
“Sorry for the unpleasantness,” said Garvan. “Like I told you before, they don’t all hate you. Most of them are deeply concerned about what happens to you and your baby to be, Txema. But don’t ever venture outside alone again—at any time day or night. I hope you understand that from here on out it will be far too dangerous, and with so much to lose. Others will be waiting for you to slip up.”
“And then what?”
I hated coming across so flippantly, but the adrenaline was dumping out of my system and my blood sugar had dropped to where my extremities were going numb. I had exactly zero fucks left to give. I didn’t wait for an answer, and dug into my food ravenously. It tasted fantastic, and I resented the fact my body wouldn’t let me savor this moment. I’m sure I looked like an animal in my gorgeous gown, only one step away from eating with my hands instead of the delicate cutlery Mercel had provided.
Garvan smirked sadly and shrugged.
“I won’t be able to protect you. None of us will be able to do a damned thing… I’ll be left to cry tears of blood whenever I think of you.
Every
day. Until eventually sorrow turns to anger and then rage as the last of our kind becomes extinct, and the unchallenged reign of Ralu begins.”
’m sure most folks would assume after such a statement that the night would’ve become a complete bust for me. It almost did. Luckily, Garvan lightened up after sharing the biggest glimpse into his soul that I’d seen up until then. The very things he feared as a vampire are not that different from those of us still human. All of my entourage likely feared the same things, and it would not surprise me if Gustav himself has similar misgivings. Not to mention that he did still have a soul, which was sort of surprising. I was getting very cynical and it kind of hurt my feelings to have this realization about myself.
It was easy for me to be selfish and self-centered. I was at least self-aware enough to realize this. I could blame it on being an only daughter, or on the generation to which I was born as so many seem to want to do. Or, I’m sure, so many other things if I spent the time to look. In reality I think it is simple human nature. Empathy was also human nature, and when we stopped looking inside for a bit and started looking at others, we could see how we hurt those around us without even realizing it. Once we realized we are hurting others is when we have to make a choice, and that choice is what defines us as being selfish or not. My choice was to start putting forth the effort to let Garvan know that I cared deeply about him as more than a guardian for me and my unborn daughter. As I picked over my dinner and the desert (
amazing
by the way) we talked about plans after she was born, and I reassured him I still wanted him to be in my life.
That seemed to be enough for him. It at least lifted his demeanor to where he wanted to dance and play like everyone having fun in the aerial waltz. Dancing with vampires is a different experience, since several times I was sent airborne by one—Garvan or Armando—and then caught gently by Franz or Chanson. And, like with the girls I used to go clubbing with back in Richmond and Knoxville, Raquel, Tyreen, and Chanson danced with me sans the guys. I even did the ‘Charleston’ with Armando where we nearly crashed into Nora and Kazikli. At least we had fun laughing about it.
Everything was strange in that way. But it was such a blast!
We partied well into the night, but by 3:00 a.m. security guards moved in to stop the festivities. Gustav stood before us, along with Huangtian Dadi and Xuanxang―the only time I saw either of them that night. After a brief Christmas benediction, Gustav
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