you have questions.
First Impressions
The potential partners you and your sweetie set your sights on will bring their own desires, lusts, expectations, and limits to the experience, just as you will. Listen, ask questions, and check in with them whenever it seems appropriate.
When you make your approach, be keenly aware of what youâre presentingâremember that first impressions are everything here. If one of you has elected to do the talking, be sure that you donât do all the talking, because you want your potential playmate to know you and your partner are equally interested. Otherwise, they might wonder whose idea this was anyway. Making the approach as a couple is ideal. Or, if youâre in a male-female partnership, try approaching together. Having the woman make the approach as a way to assure the new prospect that itâs her idea, might work wellâbut be aware that this can also come off as creepy. No one wants to go home with a couple in which one partner has been âput up to itâ and the other partnerâs intentions (especially the guyâs) are unclear. A woman, for instance, will be very reluctant to go upstairs with you and your boyfriend if she thinks youâve been put out as âbaitâ for an upcoming and possibly unwelcome switch.
Just as you should never touch anyone without asking permission first, donât make any assumptions about the individual(s) you invite into your sex lives. They need not only equal affection (and orgasms!), but also extra consideration for the range of emotions they may experience. Donât allow them to feel left out, and do beaware of what they want from you. If theyâre cold toward you but hot for your lover, donât go any further, and if you sense any indifference or ambivalence toward your partnership, your boundaries, or your feelings, itâs time to move on.
Get Together, and Get Off
Youâve talked, youâve searched, and youâve found your new partnerânow itâs playtime. Try these suggestions:
⢠     Smile and laugh as much as possible. Nothingâs sexier, more relaxing, or warmer than humor and confidence. Be silly, have fun, and be a big flirt.
⢠     Break the ice physically by playing a sexy game, trading massages, watching porn, reading a sexy story aloud, taking a shower or hot tubâor be bold and just start taking off your clothes.
⢠     Play with the balance of power. Elect one person to direct the action, or take turns being in charge.
⢠     Always wear sexy underwear.
⢠     Bring sex toys. Vibrators can keep your arousal level high when youâre not being directly stimulated. Or you can masturbate with your trusty Hitachi Magic Wand while watching the others. A butt plug can be set in place for hands-free anal stimulation, and there are arrays of vibrators available that can be worn like panties, some even operated by remote control. Just be sure to follow cleanliness guidelines for sharing toys.
⢠     Dildos and harnesses can make a threesome seem like an orgy. They can be used by women and men alike.
⢠     Always have a stock of safer-sex supplies. Lube, condoms (latex and nonlatex), gloves, finger cots, anddental dams should be in your fun stash. Make birth-control decisions well in advance.
⢠     Always, always, always bring lube. Even if you think you donât need it, you should be using it anyway, for both pleasure and safety. Slicked-up parts feel wonderful, and natural lubrication isnât always reliable. Use a lube thatâs water-based, unflavored, uncolored, and doesnât contain added sugars or glycerin. Why? Because these additives contribute to yeast infections in womenânot a nice memento of your encounter.
⢠     Try a lightly kinky prop such
First Impressions
The potential partners you and your sweetie set your sights on will bring their own desires, lusts, expectations, and limits to the experience, just as you will. Listen, ask questions, and check in with them whenever it seems appropriate.
When you make your approach, be keenly aware of what youâre presentingâremember that first impressions are everything here. If one of you has elected to do the talking, be sure that you donât do all the talking, because you want your potential playmate to know you and your partner are equally interested. Otherwise, they might wonder whose idea this was anyway. Making the approach as a couple is ideal. Or, if youâre in a male-female partnership, try approaching together. Having the woman make the approach as a way to assure the new prospect that itâs her idea, might work wellâbut be aware that this can also come off as creepy. No one wants to go home with a couple in which one partner has been âput up to itâ and the other partnerâs intentions (especially the guyâs) are unclear. A woman, for instance, will be very reluctant to go upstairs with you and your boyfriend if she thinks youâve been put out as âbaitâ for an upcoming and possibly unwelcome switch.
Just as you should never touch anyone without asking permission first, donât make any assumptions about the individual(s) you invite into your sex lives. They need not only equal affection (and orgasms!), but also extra consideration for the range of emotions they may experience. Donât allow them to feel left out, and do beaware of what they want from you. If theyâre cold toward you but hot for your lover, donât go any further, and if you sense any indifference or ambivalence toward your partnership, your boundaries, or your feelings, itâs time to move on.
Get Together, and Get Off
Youâve talked, youâve searched, and youâve found your new partnerânow itâs playtime. Try these suggestions:
⢠     Smile and laugh as much as possible. Nothingâs sexier, more relaxing, or warmer than humor and confidence. Be silly, have fun, and be a big flirt.
⢠     Break the ice physically by playing a sexy game, trading massages, watching porn, reading a sexy story aloud, taking a shower or hot tubâor be bold and just start taking off your clothes.
⢠     Play with the balance of power. Elect one person to direct the action, or take turns being in charge.
⢠     Always wear sexy underwear.
⢠     Bring sex toys. Vibrators can keep your arousal level high when youâre not being directly stimulated. Or you can masturbate with your trusty Hitachi Magic Wand while watching the others. A butt plug can be set in place for hands-free anal stimulation, and there are arrays of vibrators available that can be worn like panties, some even operated by remote control. Just be sure to follow cleanliness guidelines for sharing toys.
⢠     Dildos and harnesses can make a threesome seem like an orgy. They can be used by women and men alike.
⢠     Always have a stock of safer-sex supplies. Lube, condoms (latex and nonlatex), gloves, finger cots, anddental dams should be in your fun stash. Make birth-control decisions well in advance.
⢠     Always, always, always bring lube. Even if you think you donât need it, you should be using it anyway, for both pleasure and safety. Slicked-up parts feel wonderful, and natural lubrication isnât always reliable. Use a lube thatâs water-based, unflavored, uncolored, and doesnât contain added sugars or glycerin. Why? Because these additives contribute to yeast infections in womenânot a nice memento of your encounter.
⢠     Try a lightly kinky prop such
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