on a chapter called Some Fundamental Types of Value Judgement, and found himself quite unable to make progress. He had put off the decision about whether to introduce the idea of the Synthetic A Priori as such, and was now paralysed by it. He had lost his grasp. His theories no longer radiated an energy of their own, they had been overcome by a superior power. He could think about nothing but Carel and Elizabeth. Imaginary conversations with Carel drifted like ectoplasm in the closed-in room. And the image of Elizabeth, her new face of a woman veiled in pale floating hair, followed Marcus to his bed and hung above his sleep.
After several days of this torment Marcus was resolved that he must end it by somehow getting inside the Rectory and confronting his brother. He very much wanted to see Elizabeth too. He had begun to be extremely troubled by the idea that she might have felt herself neglected by him. Why had he ever stopped writing to her? There were so many things he could quite easily have done to show her he still remembered her. It was especially unjust, since he had really thought about her a great deal. Why had it never occurred to him to send her some flowers? Should he perhaps do so now? He had idiotically allowed her to become a stranger, and now from within the hazy luminous globe of her peculiar seclusion she both attracted and menaced him.
On the last two occasions of visiting the Rectory he had, after his failure at the front door which he had grown to expect, walked round the house, looking at the lighted windows and speculating about which room was which. He had even tried a back door, which turned out to be locked. This exercise had occasioned feelings of guilt and fear which Marcus had unflinchingly enjoyed. He said nothing to Norah about these investigations. Norah had her own plan of campaign and had invited the Bishop, together with Marcus, to dinner at the beginning of the following week. The topic for discussion was to be “what to do about that man". Norah was in danger of becoming irrational on the subject of Carel. Of course, poor Norah had her own troubles where the Rectory was concerned. Marcus knew that she had written several letters to Muriel and had received only one short evasive reply which ignored Norah’s plea for an early meeting. Norah blamed Carel for this. “He makes everyone round him as mad as he is,” she had said, and did not now moderate her language. She had been used to call Carel “neurotic". Fortified lately by further “stories” from the other parish, she had moved on to calling him “unbalanced", “psychotic” and “a thoroughly evil man". He ought to be removed from his post. There was after all a responsibility to the community. The Bishop must be made to realize. Marcus had pooh-poohed these enthusiasms, but later had grown pensive. Some ray from Carel had fallen even upon himself.
Following some instinct, Marcus had all along concealed from Norah the degree of his distress about his brother. She would certainly not approve of what he had come to call his “expedition” and was best left in ignorance of it. It would seem to her melodramatic, ill-advised, and lacking in what Norah valued above all else, straightforwardness. Marcus reflected with a little satisfaction on how impenetrably unstraightforward he felt about everything to do with Carel. Moreover, given that the venture was unpredictable, he was better off without witnesses to what might simply prove an exercise in making himself ridiculous. He was in a mood for avoiding Norah in any case. She was becoming embarrassingly eager about her plan for having him as her upstairs lodger, and appeared to have switched from regarding it as a possibility to regarding it as a certainty, only whose details remained to be fixed. Marcus could not recall having said anything to occasion this change.
What Marcus proposed to do was simply to get inside the Rectory somehow, preferably by a back
After several days of this torment Marcus was resolved that he must end it by somehow getting inside the Rectory and confronting his brother. He very much wanted to see Elizabeth too. He had begun to be extremely troubled by the idea that she might have felt herself neglected by him. Why had he ever stopped writing to her? There were so many things he could quite easily have done to show her he still remembered her. It was especially unjust, since he had really thought about her a great deal. Why had it never occurred to him to send her some flowers? Should he perhaps do so now? He had idiotically allowed her to become a stranger, and now from within the hazy luminous globe of her peculiar seclusion she both attracted and menaced him.
On the last two occasions of visiting the Rectory he had, after his failure at the front door which he had grown to expect, walked round the house, looking at the lighted windows and speculating about which room was which. He had even tried a back door, which turned out to be locked. This exercise had occasioned feelings of guilt and fear which Marcus had unflinchingly enjoyed. He said nothing to Norah about these investigations. Norah had her own plan of campaign and had invited the Bishop, together with Marcus, to dinner at the beginning of the following week. The topic for discussion was to be “what to do about that man". Norah was in danger of becoming irrational on the subject of Carel. Of course, poor Norah had her own troubles where the Rectory was concerned. Marcus knew that she had written several letters to Muriel and had received only one short evasive reply which ignored Norah’s plea for an early meeting. Norah blamed Carel for this. “He makes everyone round him as mad as he is,” she had said, and did not now moderate her language. She had been used to call Carel “neurotic". Fortified lately by further “stories” from the other parish, she had moved on to calling him “unbalanced", “psychotic” and “a thoroughly evil man". He ought to be removed from his post. There was after all a responsibility to the community. The Bishop must be made to realize. Marcus had pooh-poohed these enthusiasms, but later had grown pensive. Some ray from Carel had fallen even upon himself.
Following some instinct, Marcus had all along concealed from Norah the degree of his distress about his brother. She would certainly not approve of what he had come to call his “expedition” and was best left in ignorance of it. It would seem to her melodramatic, ill-advised, and lacking in what Norah valued above all else, straightforwardness. Marcus reflected with a little satisfaction on how impenetrably unstraightforward he felt about everything to do with Carel. Moreover, given that the venture was unpredictable, he was better off without witnesses to what might simply prove an exercise in making himself ridiculous. He was in a mood for avoiding Norah in any case. She was becoming embarrassingly eager about her plan for having him as her upstairs lodger, and appeared to have switched from regarding it as a possibility to regarding it as a certainty, only whose details remained to be fixed. Marcus could not recall having said anything to occasion this change.
What Marcus proposed to do was simply to get inside the Rectory somehow, preferably by a back
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