but there was a teacher there who loved English literature and he got me a part in the school play. It was by a Hungarian called Molnar, and all of a sudden I didn’t want to go to West Point. I didn’t want any part of it and my mother, who’s written a couple of damned fine stories for the
Atlantic,
came to school and said, ‘We’ve always expected you would go to the Point, like your father and his father.’ I said, ‘Suddenly I feel as if I’d had a vision of a completely different world.’ At that she started to cry and talked pretty incoherently, but what I got was that if you ever once experienced that vision don’t let anything stop you. She wouldn’t come right out and say I shouldn’t go to the Point, because her own father went there and became a pretty famous general. But I could see that that’s what she meant.
“For the next two weeks I went through hell. Everybody at theschool was just swell. They didn’t rave at me and say I was ruining my life if I gave up the appointment to West Point, and the English teacher wouldn’t say that if I did go to the Point I was selling out. But then Father flew up from Texas and he was like a breath of sea air in a Kansas drought.”
“He put you straight, eh?”
“No. Father never rants.”
“He’s a general, isn’t he? Then he rants.”
“You Marines get the wrong idea sometimes. Just because a couple of generals fouled up Koje-do, you take it for granted all Army generals are horses’ necks.”
“Right animal, wrong anatomy.”
“If you ever meet my father you’ll meet the man who justifies having generals. He looked at me that day and said, ‘If you don’t want to go to the Point, Lloyd, don’t. Unhappiest men I know are those who’ve been forced into something they have no inner aptitude for.’ ”
“That was a noble start,” Mike said, “but what did he use for the clincher?”
“What do you mean?”
“How did he apply the screws? How did he force you to go to the Point?”
“He didn’t. We just talked and he flew back to Texas and I went on to the Point. And up to this very night I’ve never once been sorry. But tonight that old sick feeling came over me and I had the distinct impression that maybe I didn’t want to stay in the Air Force and buck for a star. Maybe I didn’t want to marry Eileen and mess around with her silly old man and cantankerous mother.” I put my hand against my forehead and said, “Maybe I felt my whole world crumbling under me.”
Mike grew serious and said, “Boy, do I know! I watched my old man go through the depression. I watched a world really crumble. That’s why I don’t put much stock in the permanent security of worlds—of any kind. But what hit you? You don’t just decide a thing like that for the hell of it.”
“Well…I’m almost ashamed to tell you what hit me.”
Mike had a very quick mind and he said loudly, “Fumiko-san! You took a good look at Fumiko-san close up. Well, son, she’d put anyone off his rocker—anyone, that is, but an old hand at l’amour like me.”
I laughed and said, “I wish it were so simple. I could duel you forFumiko-san in F-86’s at 40,000 feet. But the other day I was best man at a marriage between a G.I. and a Japanese girl. Boy, she was no Fumiko-san, but she impressed me powerfully. Like a chunk of earth in the middle of a cheese soufflé. And tonight, seeing that other part of Japan I wondered…” Suddenly I clammed up and couldn’t say it.
“You wondered what?” Mike asked. “You certainly don’t want to snatch the enlisted man’s wife.”
“This sounds silly but I flew down here ready to marry Eileen. When she and I started to hesitate about that, I started to wonder about everything else—even about staying in the Air Force. I know it’s ridiculous but that G.I. and his dumpy Japanese girl…”
Mike stared at me in slack-jawed horror and asked in a hushed voice, “You mean you’re ponderin’ life?” He mussed
Atlantic,
came to school and said, ‘We’ve always expected you would go to the Point, like your father and his father.’ I said, ‘Suddenly I feel as if I’d had a vision of a completely different world.’ At that she started to cry and talked pretty incoherently, but what I got was that if you ever once experienced that vision don’t let anything stop you. She wouldn’t come right out and say I shouldn’t go to the Point, because her own father went there and became a pretty famous general. But I could see that that’s what she meant.
“For the next two weeks I went through hell. Everybody at theschool was just swell. They didn’t rave at me and say I was ruining my life if I gave up the appointment to West Point, and the English teacher wouldn’t say that if I did go to the Point I was selling out. But then Father flew up from Texas and he was like a breath of sea air in a Kansas drought.”
“He put you straight, eh?”
“No. Father never rants.”
“He’s a general, isn’t he? Then he rants.”
“You Marines get the wrong idea sometimes. Just because a couple of generals fouled up Koje-do, you take it for granted all Army generals are horses’ necks.”
“Right animal, wrong anatomy.”
“If you ever meet my father you’ll meet the man who justifies having generals. He looked at me that day and said, ‘If you don’t want to go to the Point, Lloyd, don’t. Unhappiest men I know are those who’ve been forced into something they have no inner aptitude for.’ ”
“That was a noble start,” Mike said, “but what did he use for the clincher?”
“What do you mean?”
“How did he apply the screws? How did he force you to go to the Point?”
“He didn’t. We just talked and he flew back to Texas and I went on to the Point. And up to this very night I’ve never once been sorry. But tonight that old sick feeling came over me and I had the distinct impression that maybe I didn’t want to stay in the Air Force and buck for a star. Maybe I didn’t want to marry Eileen and mess around with her silly old man and cantankerous mother.” I put my hand against my forehead and said, “Maybe I felt my whole world crumbling under me.”
Mike grew serious and said, “Boy, do I know! I watched my old man go through the depression. I watched a world really crumble. That’s why I don’t put much stock in the permanent security of worlds—of any kind. But what hit you? You don’t just decide a thing like that for the hell of it.”
“Well…I’m almost ashamed to tell you what hit me.”
Mike had a very quick mind and he said loudly, “Fumiko-san! You took a good look at Fumiko-san close up. Well, son, she’d put anyone off his rocker—anyone, that is, but an old hand at l’amour like me.”
I laughed and said, “I wish it were so simple. I could duel you forFumiko-san in F-86’s at 40,000 feet. But the other day I was best man at a marriage between a G.I. and a Japanese girl. Boy, she was no Fumiko-san, but she impressed me powerfully. Like a chunk of earth in the middle of a cheese soufflé. And tonight, seeing that other part of Japan I wondered…” Suddenly I clammed up and couldn’t say it.
“You wondered what?” Mike asked. “You certainly don’t want to snatch the enlisted man’s wife.”
“This sounds silly but I flew down here ready to marry Eileen. When she and I started to hesitate about that, I started to wonder about everything else—even about staying in the Air Force. I know it’s ridiculous but that G.I. and his dumpy Japanese girl…”
Mike stared at me in slack-jawed horror and asked in a hushed voice, “You mean you’re ponderin’ life?” He mussed
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