for him to give them grandchildren, and the fact that Sally was pregnant didn’t alter that.
His parents, Jane especially, wanted him settled with a wife and children; she’d gathered that much from the odd hint and joke over the course of the weekend, and now she knew the truth, her heart ached for him. No wonder he hadn’t wanted to come home for the house party! It was a miracle he ever came home at all.
‘Leave your case on the bed, I’ll come up and get it in a minute. I’m going to make tea,’ he called through the door.
‘Don’t worry, take it now,’ she said, coming out of the bathroom in a towel and throwing her wash bag and nightdress into the top of the case and zipping it shut. ‘I’ve got everything I need.’
Everything except him, but that was never going to happen. She reached for his arm, meeting his eyes, seeing the pain still echoed there, dragged back to life by their conversation.
‘Andrew, I’m so sorry.’
‘Don’t be. It doesn’t matter.’
‘You don’t want children?’
His smile was sad. ‘I’m a paediatrician, Libby. What do you think? But we don’t always get what we want, and I have a fulfilling and very rewarding life. Besides, I’m still single. And I don’t need children to make me happy.’
‘But your mother does. She’s desperate for you to settle down—and it’s why you’re still single, isn’t it? Does she even know?’
He shook his head. ‘No. And she doesn’t need to know. Nobody knows.’
‘Not even Will?’
He gave a short laugh. ‘Especially not Will.’
So he didn’t even have his brother’s comfort or support.
‘Ah, Libby, no, don’t cry for me,’ he said softly, and drew her into his arms. ‘Hush now, come on. It’s all right, truly. I’m OK. And I’ll marry one day, someone who’s already got children so she doesn’t feel tempted to leave me because there’s something missing in her life.’
‘Do you really think all women are that shallow?’ she demanded, but he just laughed softly.
‘No. Not shallow, not at all. But the drive to procreate is a strong one, and I wouldn’t ask any woman to give up her right to be a mother. It wouldn’t be fair.’
‘And what about you, Andrew? What about what’s fair to you?’
He didn’t answer, just turned away after a moment, picked up her case and left the room.
They were gone half an hour later, without disturbing anyone. He’d already said goodbye to his parents the night before, and he’d ring Will later. He’d understand—and, anyway, he was probably still in bed with Sally, sleeping off his excesses, or else he’d be out riding.
‘I need to go straight to the hospital. Is it OK if I just drop you off and shoot away?’ he asked, and she nodded.
‘Of course it is. Anyway, I’ve got things to do.’
‘Laundry?’ he suggested, his smile wry.
She laughed. ‘You guessed it. And dusting. And vacuuming up the drifts of cat hair.’
He pulled up outside her little modern terraced house and cut the engine, then lifted her case out of the boot and put it down in her hall. ‘Thank you for coming with me,’ he said softly. ‘And I’m sorry—it really wasn’t meant to end up the way it did. I shouldn’t have taken advantage of you last night.’
‘Excuse me?’ Her mouth kicked up in a smile that unravelled something deep in his gut. ‘I don’t remember you taking advantage—if anyone did, it was me. I seem to remember I kissed you first.’
‘OK,’ he said at last, giving her a fleeting smile. ‘I’ll give you that. But—Libby, I meant what I said. I’m not in the market for a serious relationship. I don’t want to hurt you, and I don’t want to get hurt myself, and I think it might be all too easy to fall into a relationship that hurts us both in the end.’
Her eyes clouded, and she gave a slight nod and stepped back. ‘That’s OK. I understand. We’re just friends. Not even that, really. Colleagues. We’ll just pretend it never
His parents, Jane especially, wanted him settled with a wife and children; she’d gathered that much from the odd hint and joke over the course of the weekend, and now she knew the truth, her heart ached for him. No wonder he hadn’t wanted to come home for the house party! It was a miracle he ever came home at all.
‘Leave your case on the bed, I’ll come up and get it in a minute. I’m going to make tea,’ he called through the door.
‘Don’t worry, take it now,’ she said, coming out of the bathroom in a towel and throwing her wash bag and nightdress into the top of the case and zipping it shut. ‘I’ve got everything I need.’
Everything except him, but that was never going to happen. She reached for his arm, meeting his eyes, seeing the pain still echoed there, dragged back to life by their conversation.
‘Andrew, I’m so sorry.’
‘Don’t be. It doesn’t matter.’
‘You don’t want children?’
His smile was sad. ‘I’m a paediatrician, Libby. What do you think? But we don’t always get what we want, and I have a fulfilling and very rewarding life. Besides, I’m still single. And I don’t need children to make me happy.’
‘But your mother does. She’s desperate for you to settle down—and it’s why you’re still single, isn’t it? Does she even know?’
He shook his head. ‘No. And she doesn’t need to know. Nobody knows.’
‘Not even Will?’
He gave a short laugh. ‘Especially not Will.’
So he didn’t even have his brother’s comfort or support.
‘Ah, Libby, no, don’t cry for me,’ he said softly, and drew her into his arms. ‘Hush now, come on. It’s all right, truly. I’m OK. And I’ll marry one day, someone who’s already got children so she doesn’t feel tempted to leave me because there’s something missing in her life.’
‘Do you really think all women are that shallow?’ she demanded, but he just laughed softly.
‘No. Not shallow, not at all. But the drive to procreate is a strong one, and I wouldn’t ask any woman to give up her right to be a mother. It wouldn’t be fair.’
‘And what about you, Andrew? What about what’s fair to you?’
He didn’t answer, just turned away after a moment, picked up her case and left the room.
They were gone half an hour later, without disturbing anyone. He’d already said goodbye to his parents the night before, and he’d ring Will later. He’d understand—and, anyway, he was probably still in bed with Sally, sleeping off his excesses, or else he’d be out riding.
‘I need to go straight to the hospital. Is it OK if I just drop you off and shoot away?’ he asked, and she nodded.
‘Of course it is. Anyway, I’ve got things to do.’
‘Laundry?’ he suggested, his smile wry.
She laughed. ‘You guessed it. And dusting. And vacuuming up the drifts of cat hair.’
He pulled up outside her little modern terraced house and cut the engine, then lifted her case out of the boot and put it down in her hall. ‘Thank you for coming with me,’ he said softly. ‘And I’m sorry—it really wasn’t meant to end up the way it did. I shouldn’t have taken advantage of you last night.’
‘Excuse me?’ Her mouth kicked up in a smile that unravelled something deep in his gut. ‘I don’t remember you taking advantage—if anyone did, it was me. I seem to remember I kissed you first.’
‘OK,’ he said at last, giving her a fleeting smile. ‘I’ll give you that. But—Libby, I meant what I said. I’m not in the market for a serious relationship. I don’t want to hurt you, and I don’t want to get hurt myself, and I think it might be all too easy to fall into a relationship that hurts us both in the end.’
Her eyes clouded, and she gave a slight nod and stepped back. ‘That’s OK. I understand. We’re just friends. Not even that, really. Colleagues. We’ll just pretend it never
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