picked up my journal and a pen from the nightstand and shuffled over to the far side of the room.
The guest room was small but airy. Tatami mats covered the floor. The white walls were set off with a dark wood framework that made them look a little like the paper screens that lined the lobby area. Near the foot of the bed was a small low table. On two sides of it were legless chairs—seat and back cushions that sat directly on the floor. Beyond were mullioned floor-to-ceiling windows, with a sliding door that led out onto a green area. I opened the door and stepped out onto a little wooden veranda. Although I could see the greenery of a garden through the window while resting on the futon, I wasn’t prepared for what greeted me outside.
The veranda ran around three sides of a deep and lush garden. Clearly all the rooms were centered around this quiet courtyard. In the middle of the garden was a tall stone statue of a many-storied pagoda. Smaller statues were sprinkled throughout the greenery—several cranes, a Buddha, a rather threatening-looking toad. And at the far end of the garden, I could see a tiny waterfall cascading over a stone ledge. The burbling sound suggested that a pool was beneath it, hidden from my view by leaves and branches. The leaves and branches, in fact, hid all parts of the ground from view. The base of each delicate tree was surrounded by bright green ferns; arching branches with tiny flowers graced the carefully sculpted bushes.
There was a wooden folding chair next to where I stood. Imoved over and sat down. I dropped the journal onto my lap and stared into the green space as the minutes slipped by.
The toad sculpture appeared to have a sinister smile and reminded me of the little grinning skull I had received from Antoine. Embrace your fears, the accompanying note had said. Well, I had already done a number of things I feared—including leaving my family and my job behind for this scavenger hunt. I had jumped off the edge of a cliff in a way. But I had been whining and complaining about it the whole time. I suppose by “embrace your fear,” Julian meant that a person should embrace it in a positive fashion, move out of one’s safe harbor; that a person should be exhilarated by the unknown, not become hysterical. Not long ago, I had taken a ride in an elevator for the first time in twenty years. But what else should I be doing?
Well, my biggest fears—losing my family, losing Annisha, losing Adam—were not things I wanted to embrace. And I don’t think that was what Julian’s note meant. But I couldn’t help seeing the irony. The things I feared most were happening in my life despite all my caution. And they were being realized precisely because I had been passive. Maybe if I had made some of the changes Annisha suggested—turned down a promotion or two, or switched positions, or just said no once in a while, things I was too frightened to do—I wouldn’t be facing this crisis. And what if I went really deep? What did I really want to do that I was afraid of? I was beginning to see that doing things you are frightened of may just make life less scary in the long run.
Just as I was finished writing these thoughts in the journal, I heard a gentle knock coming from my room. It was Ayame, coming to tell me that she had my luggage.
“By the way,” she added, “have you checked your phone? Ijust noticed that Julian copied me on a note he sent to you with your itinerary for the next few days. Your most unusual trip will definitely continue. Lucky you.”
D INNER TURNED OUT TO BE a long, elaborate event. I was ushered into the Satos’ private reception room, where Ayame’s parents were waiting. After we greeted one another with smiles and bows, they gestured toward the table. It was low, like the one in my room, and on each of the four sides was a large white cotton cushion. I noticed a little alcove at the side of the room, backed with a beautiful scroll-like ink drawing of
The guest room was small but airy. Tatami mats covered the floor. The white walls were set off with a dark wood framework that made them look a little like the paper screens that lined the lobby area. Near the foot of the bed was a small low table. On two sides of it were legless chairs—seat and back cushions that sat directly on the floor. Beyond were mullioned floor-to-ceiling windows, with a sliding door that led out onto a green area. I opened the door and stepped out onto a little wooden veranda. Although I could see the greenery of a garden through the window while resting on the futon, I wasn’t prepared for what greeted me outside.
The veranda ran around three sides of a deep and lush garden. Clearly all the rooms were centered around this quiet courtyard. In the middle of the garden was a tall stone statue of a many-storied pagoda. Smaller statues were sprinkled throughout the greenery—several cranes, a Buddha, a rather threatening-looking toad. And at the far end of the garden, I could see a tiny waterfall cascading over a stone ledge. The burbling sound suggested that a pool was beneath it, hidden from my view by leaves and branches. The leaves and branches, in fact, hid all parts of the ground from view. The base of each delicate tree was surrounded by bright green ferns; arching branches with tiny flowers graced the carefully sculpted bushes.
There was a wooden folding chair next to where I stood. Imoved over and sat down. I dropped the journal onto my lap and stared into the green space as the minutes slipped by.
The toad sculpture appeared to have a sinister smile and reminded me of the little grinning skull I had received from Antoine. Embrace your fears, the accompanying note had said. Well, I had already done a number of things I feared—including leaving my family and my job behind for this scavenger hunt. I had jumped off the edge of a cliff in a way. But I had been whining and complaining about it the whole time. I suppose by “embrace your fear,” Julian meant that a person should embrace it in a positive fashion, move out of one’s safe harbor; that a person should be exhilarated by the unknown, not become hysterical. Not long ago, I had taken a ride in an elevator for the first time in twenty years. But what else should I be doing?
Well, my biggest fears—losing my family, losing Annisha, losing Adam—were not things I wanted to embrace. And I don’t think that was what Julian’s note meant. But I couldn’t help seeing the irony. The things I feared most were happening in my life despite all my caution. And they were being realized precisely because I had been passive. Maybe if I had made some of the changes Annisha suggested—turned down a promotion or two, or switched positions, or just said no once in a while, things I was too frightened to do—I wouldn’t be facing this crisis. And what if I went really deep? What did I really want to do that I was afraid of? I was beginning to see that doing things you are frightened of may just make life less scary in the long run.
Just as I was finished writing these thoughts in the journal, I heard a gentle knock coming from my room. It was Ayame, coming to tell me that she had my luggage.
“By the way,” she added, “have you checked your phone? Ijust noticed that Julian copied me on a note he sent to you with your itinerary for the next few days. Your most unusual trip will definitely continue. Lucky you.”
D INNER TURNED OUT TO BE a long, elaborate event. I was ushered into the Satos’ private reception room, where Ayame’s parents were waiting. After we greeted one another with smiles and bows, they gestured toward the table. It was low, like the one in my room, and on each of the four sides was a large white cotton cushion. I noticed a little alcove at the side of the room, backed with a beautiful scroll-like ink drawing of
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