decided to head home for the weekend. I kicked the seat in front of me, annoyed that I had been abandoned. I wanted to ask Coach but knew that Cal had probably left without permission. I had no intention of ratting on him.
A mile or two from Kensington, I heard a buzzing. A flyin-the- ear sound at first, then a swarm of mosquitoes, and louder, a wasps’ nest. I turned to look out the back window and saw Cal riding the motorcycle. No helmet or sunglasses, even. Just his hair plaited back by the wind. I pounded on the glass and waved. He smiled. He must have been going sixty miles an hour, but it was as though he managed to stand still in time and smile. And then he did the most amazing thing. He took his hands off the bike and lifted them both up over his head. In victory. The hero on his Triumph. No one has ever looked as beautiful to me. With that one gesture, in that single moment, he was the definition of perfection. That was when I knew.
“What did you know?” Aidan asked.
“I knew he was the best friend I would ever have.”
Aidan leaned in and stared. “That’s all?”
“I thought that was a pretty big thing.”
“It is,” she said, “a hugely big thing, but it sounded . . .” She started to
tie her hair back in a knot. “Sounded like there was more you meant to say.”
I stood up and, for the first time since we’d started these afternoon visits, I didn’t wait for Aidan. I left on my own.
After dinner, I wanted a cigarette. I went down to the Flagpole, hoping I’d be able to find a smoker, but it was dark and cold. At first, I thought I’d struck out, but then I saw someone sheltered on the beach down by the seawall. Lighting up.
I took the stairs down to the beach and shouted into the wind, “Hey, can I bum a smoke?”
“A what?” Coach Tripp turned around and exhaled.
“Busted.” I laughed.
“Who?” he said. “You or me?” He reached into his breast pocket and pulled out a pack. “You’re welcome to it, but I will have to report you.”
I couldn’t tell whether he was kidding or serious. I waved him off.
“I know I’m not much of a role model, but the rules, such as they are, are still different for you.” He held the cigarette down by his side and flicked the ash. “Haven’t seen you around.”
“Been studying a lot.”
“It made me sad to see you quit the team. That thing with Race was just a freak of nature. You know, it’s funny,” Coach said. “Most shipwrecks happen within sight of land. You’re part of a long tradition. Sailors who screwed up before they make it out of the harbor.”
“Well, when you put it that way.” I laughed. “I know Dean Warr told you to look out for me. Sorry I disappointed you.”
“Even before the dean said anything, I was psyched at the prospect of coaching you. You know, I saw you and your friend at Nationals. Took notes. You two had a real synergy.”
“We grew up sailing together.” I ran my hand against the rough seawall.
“From what I saw, he seemed like a nice kid. It’s hard,” Coach Tripp said, “when someone does the tragic thing Cal did. Easy to blame yourself.”
“Dean Warr told you more than I thought.” I rubbed my hand, hoping to feel some of my skin scrape off.
Coach Tripp flipped open the cigarette pack and held it in front of me. I took one. He struck a wooden match and lit the tip.
“I was out the other morning, alone,” Coach Tripp said. “The winds calm. The sun breaking over the water. Birds quiet. Sailed right into this mass of green fog, moist, lush air. Washed my eyes green. I lost all sense of direction. I forgot that I wasn’t a novice. Actually thought that I might have drifted off. Thought I was trapped for good in some strange ether.”
“What happened?” I asked.
“Nothing. I just kept her steady.” He stubbed his cigarette out against the seawall. “Fell out of the fog.” He paused to look at me. “I always fear I’m going to turn into one of those ghost ships. Like I’ll disappear and
A mile or two from Kensington, I heard a buzzing. A flyin-the- ear sound at first, then a swarm of mosquitoes, and louder, a wasps’ nest. I turned to look out the back window and saw Cal riding the motorcycle. No helmet or sunglasses, even. Just his hair plaited back by the wind. I pounded on the glass and waved. He smiled. He must have been going sixty miles an hour, but it was as though he managed to stand still in time and smile. And then he did the most amazing thing. He took his hands off the bike and lifted them both up over his head. In victory. The hero on his Triumph. No one has ever looked as beautiful to me. With that one gesture, in that single moment, he was the definition of perfection. That was when I knew.
“What did you know?” Aidan asked.
“I knew he was the best friend I would ever have.”
Aidan leaned in and stared. “That’s all?”
“I thought that was a pretty big thing.”
“It is,” she said, “a hugely big thing, but it sounded . . .” She started to
tie her hair back in a knot. “Sounded like there was more you meant to say.”
I stood up and, for the first time since we’d started these afternoon visits, I didn’t wait for Aidan. I left on my own.
After dinner, I wanted a cigarette. I went down to the Flagpole, hoping I’d be able to find a smoker, but it was dark and cold. At first, I thought I’d struck out, but then I saw someone sheltered on the beach down by the seawall. Lighting up.
I took the stairs down to the beach and shouted into the wind, “Hey, can I bum a smoke?”
“A what?” Coach Tripp turned around and exhaled.
“Busted.” I laughed.
“Who?” he said. “You or me?” He reached into his breast pocket and pulled out a pack. “You’re welcome to it, but I will have to report you.”
I couldn’t tell whether he was kidding or serious. I waved him off.
“I know I’m not much of a role model, but the rules, such as they are, are still different for you.” He held the cigarette down by his side and flicked the ash. “Haven’t seen you around.”
“Been studying a lot.”
“It made me sad to see you quit the team. That thing with Race was just a freak of nature. You know, it’s funny,” Coach said. “Most shipwrecks happen within sight of land. You’re part of a long tradition. Sailors who screwed up before they make it out of the harbor.”
“Well, when you put it that way.” I laughed. “I know Dean Warr told you to look out for me. Sorry I disappointed you.”
“Even before the dean said anything, I was psyched at the prospect of coaching you. You know, I saw you and your friend at Nationals. Took notes. You two had a real synergy.”
“We grew up sailing together.” I ran my hand against the rough seawall.
“From what I saw, he seemed like a nice kid. It’s hard,” Coach Tripp said, “when someone does the tragic thing Cal did. Easy to blame yourself.”
“Dean Warr told you more than I thought.” I rubbed my hand, hoping to feel some of my skin scrape off.
Coach Tripp flipped open the cigarette pack and held it in front of me. I took one. He struck a wooden match and lit the tip.
“I was out the other morning, alone,” Coach Tripp said. “The winds calm. The sun breaking over the water. Birds quiet. Sailed right into this mass of green fog, moist, lush air. Washed my eyes green. I lost all sense of direction. I forgot that I wasn’t a novice. Actually thought that I might have drifted off. Thought I was trapped for good in some strange ether.”
“What happened?” I asked.
“Nothing. I just kept her steady.” He stubbed his cigarette out against the seawall. “Fell out of the fog.” He paused to look at me. “I always fear I’m going to turn into one of those ghost ships. Like I’ll disappear and
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