lunch next week.â
âDamn! Playa, playa!â
âNo, itâs not even like that. I just want to make sure sheâs happy, apologize, and leave on a cordial note.â
âSure, you keep telling yourself that, because I know the deal. I know you. Donât get bit in the ass again, Xavier.â
Chapter 18
Pilar
Afterward, after sexing with Michael, I always felt safe and sound, in a real good place. That was how I felt now, in a good, safe place. That was something I had always placed a huge premium on as an adult. No one could hurt or punish me, or make me do vile, disgusting acts that I didnât want to. Those days were long goneâforever.
Mama was dead, hopefully rotting in hell for all eternity, but sometimes I heard her in my head, and lately, it was more and more. She came when I wanted to sleep or when I was focusing on a task at hand. Mama always came with the same relentless chatter. It consumed my head to capacity, and I would feel as if it would burst.
That man doesnât want you except for one thing. He doesnât love you. How could he? Look at yourself. Have you looked in a mirror lately? Why donât you do something to that damn hair?
You are one ugly creature. No one would ever guess I gave birth to you. How many pounds have you gained?
I know I taught you better. You always get paid. Nothing in life is free. Your pussy is as good as an American Express black card. How could you let him climb on top of you and stick his dick inside you without him showing you the money? You are disgusting. All that sweating and moaning and groaning. You sounded like barnyard animals.
You are damaged goods, girl. Donât any normal, decent man want you.
She would do that high-pitched cackle I always hated. I would place my hands over my ears in an attempt to block out her insistent chatter, or hit my forehead over and over with my fist until she shut the hell up.
Â
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âWow, that was good,â Michael stated, already beginning to slip into a semi-after-sex mode.
I smiled and snuggled closer, resting my head on his chest. Michael was light skinned, athletically built, intelligent, just the type of man women wanted to be with.
âYou are always so intense when we have sex,â he said, smoothing down my hair and sighing. âThatâs what I love about you.â
âDo you?â
âYes. That and how mysterious you are.â
âIâm not mysterious, Michael,â I stated, relaxing to his touch. If I were a cat, I would have purred.
âYes, you are, Pilar. Hell, you know everything there is to know about me, and I know very little about you except for the basics.â
âYou know the most important things,â I said, reaching for his semi-erect dick.
âThat I do.â He laughed, rolling back on top of me and pinning my hands above my head.
Bitch, you need to have him pay you if you are going to constantly let him go up inside you , Mama screamed. Heâs a greedy little bastard.
I frantically shook my head to clear my thoughts.
âWhatâs wrong, baby? Michael asked, spreading my legs farther apart with his knees. âAre you still having those headaches you mentioned?â
âNo, Iâm fine. Iâm just thinking about how good we are together. Donât you think?â
He grunted as he slowly entered me again. He slid in easily and expertly; I had lost count of how many times we had gone at it.
âMichael? Did you hear me?â I asked.
âHmmm. Yeah, baby. Whatever you say. Damn, you have some good stuff,â he grunted.
âDo you think they suspect anything at work?â
âLike what?â
âThat we are seeing each other?â
By now, he was slowly thrusting in and out of me, with his large hands wrapped around my neck.
âShhh. Move with me.â
âAnswer my question,â I demanded.
âNo, we are discreet. They donât know Iâm banging you
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