body, just his head. And we're all laughing at him and
he's getting all pissed off and he runs out the door and he gets
smushed by a pizza delivery truck. Not even enough left of his head
to freeze. Sucked to be him."
* * *
"If you discover a way to
bring my mother-in-law back, please, I'm begging you, don't! Ha ha, I'm just
kidding, honey."
* * *
"I'm already sick of hearing about him. Mr.
Corpse this, Mr. Corpse that, blah, blah, blah. He's so overrated.
I'll bet you anything he runs for office. That's just what we need;
a zombie in the white house. Oooh, let me get right to those voting
booths now!"
* * *
"It's witchcraft. Science can't bring dead
people back to life so that they retain their memories, their
personalities. How is he talking? How is he moving? There's
something unholy going on here."
* * *
"Mr. Corpse is a homo."
"No, you're a homo."
"No, you're a homo."
"You thought Mr. Corpse had a nice butt."
"Oh, that's just wrong!"
"You did! I saw you checking out his butt on
TV!"
"He was sitting down the whole time,
homo!"
* * *
"I'm not necessarily against the whole idea
of what they've done, but I wonder if they tested for all possible
side effects. I hope they keep him on a leash when he's out in
public."
* * *
"The whole thing makes me miss my wife Megan.
She passed away on the same day that Stanley Dabernath did, and I'd
give anything to have her back. A lot of people are going to
ridicule Stanley for the way he looks, but I bet there are plenty
of people who love him, no matter what. I'd want Megan back.
Unconditionally."
* * *
"They're just exploiting it. Why does this
thing have to be dumbed-down for the masses? Why aren't we hearing
about the science involved instead of watching him act like a guest
on Letterman? Where's the NOVA special? Why does everything have to
be about the entertainment value?"
* * *
"Mr. Corpse is a freak, man! Did you see his
ugly skull-lookin' face? Nasty. He's like Frankenstein. I've got
nothing against the guy personally, but it's just not a face I need
to be looking at. Yecch."
* * *
"What I want to know is, if he had kids,
would they come out alive or dead?"
* * *
"The Amazing Mr. Corpse makes him sound like
a circus act. I expected him to start juggling or spinning plates.
I know that Stanley Dabernath isn't really a good name for a
zombie, but they've got to do better. Or else he's got to start
juggling or spinning plates. I'd pay to see that, to be perfectly
honest..."
* * *
"I thought it was a great
interview, but dead guys should not wear blue."
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
"Oh, come on !"
"You don't like it?" asked Veronica, tilting
the poster as if viewing it at a slightly different angle might
improve Stanley's opinion of it.
The glossy poster featured
the words " APPEARING TODAY: THE AMAZING
MR. CORPSE " in large orange letters. The
rest of the poster was an artist's rendition of Stanley wearing a
three-piece suit, a top hat, and holding a cane. Stanley didn't
object to the attire.
"I'm a skeleton!" he said.
"Well, yeah. It's not meant to be an actual
picture of you. But it's eye-catching, isn't it?"
"Very eye-catching. But I'm a skeleton!"
"Why is that a problem?"
"Because that's not what I look like. Yeah,
I've got splotches of decay all over my body, and the skin on my
face is kinda stretched out so that it looks skeletal." He tapped
on the poster. "But this is a skeleton! This is just bones! I'm not
just bones!"
"It's symbolic."
"It's symbolic of a skeleton! And I'm not a
skeleton!"
"Stanley, I can understand what you're
saying, and I didn't personally design the poster. But they felt
the image would be less disturbing this way."
"Oh, so now I'm disturbing?"
Veronica let out a frustrated sigh. "I
apologize. You've made enough obnoxious comments about it that I
thought you were realistic about the effect your appearance
he's getting all pissed off and he runs out the door and he gets
smushed by a pizza delivery truck. Not even enough left of his head
to freeze. Sucked to be him."
* * *
"If you discover a way to
bring my mother-in-law back, please, I'm begging you, don't! Ha ha, I'm just
kidding, honey."
* * *
"I'm already sick of hearing about him. Mr.
Corpse this, Mr. Corpse that, blah, blah, blah. He's so overrated.
I'll bet you anything he runs for office. That's just what we need;
a zombie in the white house. Oooh, let me get right to those voting
booths now!"
* * *
"It's witchcraft. Science can't bring dead
people back to life so that they retain their memories, their
personalities. How is he talking? How is he moving? There's
something unholy going on here."
* * *
"Mr. Corpse is a homo."
"No, you're a homo."
"No, you're a homo."
"You thought Mr. Corpse had a nice butt."
"Oh, that's just wrong!"
"You did! I saw you checking out his butt on
TV!"
"He was sitting down the whole time,
homo!"
* * *
"I'm not necessarily against the whole idea
of what they've done, but I wonder if they tested for all possible
side effects. I hope they keep him on a leash when he's out in
public."
* * *
"The whole thing makes me miss my wife Megan.
She passed away on the same day that Stanley Dabernath did, and I'd
give anything to have her back. A lot of people are going to
ridicule Stanley for the way he looks, but I bet there are plenty
of people who love him, no matter what. I'd want Megan back.
Unconditionally."
* * *
"They're just exploiting it. Why does this
thing have to be dumbed-down for the masses? Why aren't we hearing
about the science involved instead of watching him act like a guest
on Letterman? Where's the NOVA special? Why does everything have to
be about the entertainment value?"
* * *
"Mr. Corpse is a freak, man! Did you see his
ugly skull-lookin' face? Nasty. He's like Frankenstein. I've got
nothing against the guy personally, but it's just not a face I need
to be looking at. Yecch."
* * *
"What I want to know is, if he had kids,
would they come out alive or dead?"
* * *
"The Amazing Mr. Corpse makes him sound like
a circus act. I expected him to start juggling or spinning plates.
I know that Stanley Dabernath isn't really a good name for a
zombie, but they've got to do better. Or else he's got to start
juggling or spinning plates. I'd pay to see that, to be perfectly
honest..."
* * *
"I thought it was a great
interview, but dead guys should not wear blue."
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
"Oh, come on !"
"You don't like it?" asked Veronica, tilting
the poster as if viewing it at a slightly different angle might
improve Stanley's opinion of it.
The glossy poster featured
the words " APPEARING TODAY: THE AMAZING
MR. CORPSE " in large orange letters. The
rest of the poster was an artist's rendition of Stanley wearing a
three-piece suit, a top hat, and holding a cane. Stanley didn't
object to the attire.
"I'm a skeleton!" he said.
"Well, yeah. It's not meant to be an actual
picture of you. But it's eye-catching, isn't it?"
"Very eye-catching. But I'm a skeleton!"
"Why is that a problem?"
"Because that's not what I look like. Yeah,
I've got splotches of decay all over my body, and the skin on my
face is kinda stretched out so that it looks skeletal." He tapped
on the poster. "But this is a skeleton! This is just bones! I'm not
just bones!"
"It's symbolic."
"It's symbolic of a skeleton! And I'm not a
skeleton!"
"Stanley, I can understand what you're
saying, and I didn't personally design the poster. But they felt
the image would be less disturbing this way."
"Oh, so now I'm disturbing?"
Veronica let out a frustrated sigh. "I
apologize. You've made enough obnoxious comments about it that I
thought you were realistic about the effect your appearance
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