business bringing the dead back to
life!"
* * *
"My son already wants to be Mr. Corpse for
Halloween. I keep telling him, Halloween is a long way away, but he
just gets so excited!"
* * *
"Mr. Corpse is hot . I don't know if he's
got diseases and all that, but if he got himself tested, I'd do
him."
* * *
"What a load of crap. I
mean, what a load of crap. Do they think we're stupid? Is that what
they think? Do they think we're all a bunch of stupid idiots who'll
buy their load of crap? I saw that same actor last week on a CSI repeat. They need to
fire Donald Maninnen, and they need to burn that stupid-looking
mask. My kid could make a better mask than that. What a load of
crap."
* * *
"What bothers me is that people can't see
what's going on here. You don't think the government funded this
project? Guy back from the dead? Hell-oooo, killing machine,
anyone?"
* * *
"I can't even begin to speculate on the
impact of this miraculous breakthrough in science. A world where
everybody is immortal. It's just...it's almost too much for me to
think about. It's staggering. A world without death. Holy
shit."
* * *
"I like him! I know I shouldn't, because he's
a monster, but I can't help it. I like him. He just seems like a
cool guy, somebody you'd want to hang out and have a few beers with
on Saturday night. I'll tell you what, Mr. Corpse, if you're into
poker, stop by my place. We've got the beer. You bring the potato
chips."
* * *
"I would just like to say that it's not
really our business to question what has happened either way, and
that we should support our leaders and scientists and not be always
second-guessing them. And I think that maybe if we did that we
could live better. That's all I wanted to say. Thank you."
* * *
"Dude, where's the Mr.
Corpse video game? That'd be sweet !"
* * *
"God is looking down upon us, and God is
crying. This is all against God's will, and there's going to be
judgment. People are going to burn in hell for this. I am terrified
that maybe this is the act that causes God to decide to do a clean
sweep and start over. A lot of people will be answering for their
actions. This could be judgment day. This could be Armageddon."
* * *
"I've gotta say, I just feel sorry for the
poor guy. Why couldn't they leave him dead? He looked so peaceful.
Now he's deformed and kind of gory and I just wouldn't want to live
like that. How can he have a normal life? Why would they do that to
somebody? He didn't ask to come back. They should've left him
alone. Nobody should have to go through that."
* * *
"I didn't actually watch the interview, but
we're having a Going Out of Business sale here at Walt's Furniture
and everything must go! Save thirty, forty, even fifty percent on
all items in our store! Our doors close on Sunday, so don't miss
out!"
* * *
"I think it's ghoulish. Sick people doing
sick things to entertain other sick people. Disgusting."
* * *
"My question is, why Stanley Dabernath? If we
have the power to bring the dead back to life, why not start with
Einstein? Why not Shakespeare? Abraham Lincoln? It seems to me that
you're low-balling the whole miracle by wasting it on some sleazy
film distributor living in a trailer park. Even if you argue that
there's not enough left of Lincoln to resurrect--which there
probably isn't, I'll admit--there have to be other people who died
recently who are much more worthy subjects. Why not a brilliant
musician, or a physicist, or an inventor, or even a social worker
who volunteers all of her time to help people? Why bring this loser
back? What's he going to contribute to the world?"
* * *
"My uncle, he was into this cryogenics stuff.
He was always like 'They're gonna freeze my body when I die and
bring me back to life in a thousand years and I'll get to see the
future!' And we were all like, yeah, right. It wasn't even gonna be
his whole
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