The Silence We Keep: A Nun's View of the Catholic Priest Scandal by Karol Jackowski

however, who by the fourth century were pretty much squeezed out of Christianity’s priesthood, celibacy emerged as the sacred key to an apostolic lifestyle. For the Church Mothers, celibacy had everything to do with the complete freedom necessary (like that of every man) to pick up and go with the apostles. Celibacy provided our first sisters with the freedom they needed, inside and out, to continue doing the priestly works of Christ, “ordained” or not. While for men in the priesthood celibacy became the great oppressor, for women in the sisterhood celibacy became the great liberator, the great equalizer within Christianity. Being excluded from priesthood never stopped the Church Mothers from doing apostolic works. No one or nothing could stop the sisterhood from living priestly lives because they, too, were touched and called by God.
    When freely chosen and gladly welcomed, celibacy in the sisterhood has everything to do with how powerfully a handful ofwomen experience God and how totally liberating the experience is. So much so that priorities shift and interest becomes lost in everything but tending to lives of service, keeping the divine fires burning, keeping Holy Mother Church alive and well. Other than the work of making life divine, nothing matters in the sisterhood, least of all sexual liaisons. God-given celibacy emerged as a liberating priestly power among women in the early church, as it does now. It was experienced as a divine energy, a creative power that couldn’t be taken away, denied, or silenced. It’s still true that everything else in life pales in comparison to what women find in celibate sisterhood.
    For example, most sisters I know don’t care who makes the most money; who has the most prestigious job; who is the skinniest, most stylish, smartest, or most attractive. Nor do we believe the one who dies with the most things wins. Sisters I know take exception to all the ways in which women and men are preoccupied with privilege, with competing and outdoing one another. Everything about us tends to be countercultural in that way, including the relatively plain way we look, in or out of habit. (Regardless of what we wear, my sister Debbie swears she can spot a nun in any crowd.) From what I can see, all that matters in the sisterhood is how free celibacy leaves us, inside and out, to be sisters (and priests) in all the ways we can. And from what I’ve experienced, all that matters is how sweetly celibacy binds together women as sister, leaving us with the pure pleasure of one another’s company and all the pure joys of sisterhood.
    Too hard to believe? Too good to be true? Yes and no. Yes, because the history of celibacy in the sisterhood is just as sordid and seedy as it is in the priesthood. Well, sort of. Historian Jo Ann Kay McNamara is careful to note in her history of nuns that the sisters were never as decadent as the priests: “Some nuns in some houses were incorrigible and some houses weredisgraceful, but the great majority of communities at any given moment were free of sexual misconduct.” 1 Unlike the priesthood, where a permissive culture of privilege and sexual activity exists, the sisterhood cleaned up its act and changed its thinking completely (long before I arrived on the scene). Strong warnings about sex between sisters were a big part of “sister formation” from day one in the Sisters of the Holy Cross. The message was seriously clear that any sexual activity between sisters (or anyone else) would result in swift and immediate dismissal; there was zero tolerance from day one. They weren’t kidding, either. Several suspects were whisked away in the middle of the night, never to be spoken of or heard from again. We knew they were gone for good when their napkin rings disappeared from the breakfast table. That’s the only way we knew someone got sent home; and that’s how nuns used to shun, with a whole other kind of silence. I suspect some still do.
    We could also be