.
“Okay.” She swallowed, her heart thumping. “Um, what do you want me to do?”
“I don’t know.” His confusion and aggravation crackled. “Why don’t you start by kissing me?”
She wet her lips and took a step closer to put her hands on his broad shoulders. The heat of his body radiated under her palms and through the fabric of her dress as his hands came to rest on her waist. Shyly she leaned forward into his warmth, into his wonderful scent and lifted her face. She touched her lips to his. They were soft and parted, as his breathing quickened, the hot waves of his desire curling around her. She closed her eyes, her mouth against his, and stayed there a moment before drawing back.
His frustration rustled, suspicion that she was toying with him like little spikes within it. "No, really kiss me."
She had certainly seen kisses done, in holos, seen couples entwined in Xan-Tellar. She’d read about them. She tried again and tilted her head more, pressing her mouth against his more firmly, parting her lips a little. She stayed longer this time, hoping he’d take the lead.
He scowled when she drew back. "What are you doing?"
"I’m trying.”
“ Trying? Damn it, you've done this before, haven't you?" he demanded.
Arissa shook her head.
“What?” His head snapped back. “Hold on. No, wait, you said—In Xan-Tellar you agreed to let me—You took the money! You aren't an Ornament?"
"N—no."
His shock reverberated as he stared at her. "What the hell were you going to do if I’d decided to collect that night? Just wing it?"
"Well, you've done all this before," she burst out. "I figured you would—would just do it."
"All this? You mean you’ve never—” He searched her face and blanched. “Nothing?" he asked hoarsely. "Not even kissed? "
Her throat tightened. She shook her head again.
“I never thought—” He let go and took a quick step back, looking badly shaken. “Arissa, I’m sorry. I can’t believe the way I just—” His eyes closed briefly, shame staining his sense. “Look, you don’t have to worry about anything—worry about me. I promise I won’t do anything like that again. And we’ll just . . . we’ll work around this some another way."
Her lower lip trembled. "You don't want to now?"
"That doesn't—” He ran his hand through his hair. “Gods, do you? "
"Yes. I mean—” Her face went hot and she stumbled over her words under his shocked gaze. “I know I'm not pretty and no one's ever—It's just I might not get another chance and you—Yes, I want to."
“Is that what you think?” He cupped her chin gently, tilting her face to look at her, his thumb lightly tracing the skin of her cheek.
"You’re hauntingly beautiful, Arissa," he said softly. He let her go, his regret deep and heavy. “And you need to wait ‘til the time is right for you. I promise there will be plenty of chances and many men who will want you.”
She gathered her courage. "Do you? Do you want me, Jolar?"
The heat in his eyes echoed his hot rush of hunger. "Yes, of course I do.”
"Then I don't want to wait.” She wet her lips. “I want it to be you first. Tonight."
His desire tingled around her. "Are you sure?”
She nodded. “Will—will you?”
“Yes,” he said huskily.
Her brow creased. "You're nervous now. You weren’t nervous before."
He gave a short, shaky laugh. "Gods, I keep forgetting you can do that. Yes, I'm nervous. And even more now that you know I am."
"But why?"
He brushed a curl away from her temple, his fingers gently touching her cheek. "Because this is important. Because I want everything to be perfect for you."
"I don't need it to be perfect. I just—I want the first time to be with you. You—you know the truth about me and you aren’t afraid anymore.”
His blue eyes were raw.
She gave a quick smile. "I'm nervous too." She wet her lips again. "Will it hurt?"
"It, um—" He cleared his throat. "I'll go real slow. Okay?"
"Okay."
"So," Arissa
“Okay.” She swallowed, her heart thumping. “Um, what do you want me to do?”
“I don’t know.” His confusion and aggravation crackled. “Why don’t you start by kissing me?”
She wet her lips and took a step closer to put her hands on his broad shoulders. The heat of his body radiated under her palms and through the fabric of her dress as his hands came to rest on her waist. Shyly she leaned forward into his warmth, into his wonderful scent and lifted her face. She touched her lips to his. They were soft and parted, as his breathing quickened, the hot waves of his desire curling around her. She closed her eyes, her mouth against his, and stayed there a moment before drawing back.
His frustration rustled, suspicion that she was toying with him like little spikes within it. "No, really kiss me."
She had certainly seen kisses done, in holos, seen couples entwined in Xan-Tellar. She’d read about them. She tried again and tilted her head more, pressing her mouth against his more firmly, parting her lips a little. She stayed longer this time, hoping he’d take the lead.
He scowled when she drew back. "What are you doing?"
"I’m trying.”
“ Trying? Damn it, you've done this before, haven't you?" he demanded.
Arissa shook her head.
“What?” His head snapped back. “Hold on. No, wait, you said—In Xan-Tellar you agreed to let me—You took the money! You aren't an Ornament?"
"N—no."
His shock reverberated as he stared at her. "What the hell were you going to do if I’d decided to collect that night? Just wing it?"
"Well, you've done all this before," she burst out. "I figured you would—would just do it."
"All this? You mean you’ve never—” He searched her face and blanched. “Nothing?" he asked hoarsely. "Not even kissed? "
Her throat tightened. She shook her head again.
“I never thought—” He let go and took a quick step back, looking badly shaken. “Arissa, I’m sorry. I can’t believe the way I just—” His eyes closed briefly, shame staining his sense. “Look, you don’t have to worry about anything—worry about me. I promise I won’t do anything like that again. And we’ll just . . . we’ll work around this some another way."
Her lower lip trembled. "You don't want to now?"
"That doesn't—” He ran his hand through his hair. “Gods, do you? "
"Yes. I mean—” Her face went hot and she stumbled over her words under his shocked gaze. “I know I'm not pretty and no one's ever—It's just I might not get another chance and you—Yes, I want to."
“Is that what you think?” He cupped her chin gently, tilting her face to look at her, his thumb lightly tracing the skin of her cheek.
"You’re hauntingly beautiful, Arissa," he said softly. He let her go, his regret deep and heavy. “And you need to wait ‘til the time is right for you. I promise there will be plenty of chances and many men who will want you.”
She gathered her courage. "Do you? Do you want me, Jolar?"
The heat in his eyes echoed his hot rush of hunger. "Yes, of course I do.”
"Then I don't want to wait.” She wet her lips. “I want it to be you first. Tonight."
His desire tingled around her. "Are you sure?”
She nodded. “Will—will you?”
“Yes,” he said huskily.
Her brow creased. "You're nervous now. You weren’t nervous before."
He gave a short, shaky laugh. "Gods, I keep forgetting you can do that. Yes, I'm nervous. And even more now that you know I am."
"But why?"
He brushed a curl away from her temple, his fingers gently touching her cheek. "Because this is important. Because I want everything to be perfect for you."
"I don't need it to be perfect. I just—I want the first time to be with you. You—you know the truth about me and you aren’t afraid anymore.”
His blue eyes were raw.
She gave a quick smile. "I'm nervous too." She wet her lips again. "Will it hurt?"
"It, um—" He cleared his throat. "I'll go real slow. Okay?"
"Okay."
"So," Arissa
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