it?” Ryan’s expression turned suspicious. “Where were you anyway? You were gone for a l ong time before you showed up at the scene.”
“No, it didn’t turn out okay,” Simon bit out through gritted teeth. “How the hell
can it be okay when Caitlin was nearly killed!” His eyes narrowed. “As for where I
was, I was looking for Grant. I thought you were all behind me until I lost track of the sounds of his footsteps and turned around. I heard Caitlin scream and I ran as f ast as I could, but the woods are hard to navigate in the dark. ”
Simon turned to me, his expression gentling. “What happened?”
I forced my voice to stay calm and steady as I recounted what had transpired. “We
were right behind you when we thought we heard Grant’s voice from another direction.
Sarah took off running and Ryan went a fter her. I tried to follow them but I lost track of where they were and got disoriented. The next thing I knew, Grant appeared with his vardoger, and his vardoger attacked me.” I shook my head, trying to get
my thoughts straight. “I tried to destroy it, but my powers weren’t working. I couldn’t
feel anything inside me. No energy, no powers… nothing. It’s like I was just empty.”
I took a long, trembling breath as I replayed the scene in my head. “The vardoger was trying to overtake me when Ryan came and destroyed it. Even though Grant was threatening to shoot him.” If Ryan hadn’t arrived when he did, there was a good chance I would be dead or overtaken
right now. It was a sobering thought and I gave him a grateful look. “Thank you.”
Grant spoke befor e Ryan could respond. His face was haggard and drawn, making him look much older than his years. “I’m sorry,” he said, his voice raspy. “I barely remember
what happened, and the pieces that I do remember scare the shit out of me. It was like I was fighting against myself, trying to get
control of my body.” He looked at Ryan, his voice shaky. “I want to believe that I
wouldn’t have shot you, but every fiber in my being was telling me to pull the trigger.
It took everything I had not to do it.”
“It wasn’t you,” I said gently. “It was the vardoger. It can have a n amazing amount of control on you. I t just shows how strong you are that you were able to fight it off, to not do what it wanted you to.”
“It also helped that it was distracted trying to overtake Caitlin, so it was only
using a small amount of its energy on you,” Ryan added. He said it matter-of-factly,
not realizing that it was an insensitive comment after I had made an effo rt to make Grant feel better. Grant looked absolutely guilt- ridden even though none of this had been his fault.
“I’m sorry too!” Sarah exclaimed, looking shamefaced. “I shouldn’t have run off like
that. I wasn’t thinking. I thought I heard Grant and I was frantic to get to him.” She looked at me remorsefully . “I didn’t mean to put you in danger.”
“Everything turned out fine,” I said reassuringly, trying to raise everyone’s spirits. “The important thing is that we’re all safe and Grant’s
vardoger is no longer a threat. We should be happy.”
No one seemed to respond positively to my words, so I ju st sighed and leaned back in my chair. Ryan was watching Grant when he spoke.
“Do you remember taking the key to my glove compartment? It clearly wasn’t jimmied
open, and I have a special lock on it that’s almost impossible to pick since I keep
my gun in there.”
Grant shrugged helplessly. “I have no idea. I don’t remember opening it, let alone
get ting the key from you. Where do you keep it?”
“In a hidden compartment in my duffle bag.”
“Great,” Simon said sarcastically. “That’s a fantastic hiding place. Good job.”
Ryan narrowed his eyes. “I didn’t think anyone would go looking through my things .” He turned to Grant again, studying him speculatively. “I don’t know how
C. J. Cherryh
Learning to Kill: Stories
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Brenda Sinclair
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