The Secretary's Secret by Michelle Douglas

Could he be right?
    Her heart burned. She had a feeling it would take a miracle for Alex to embrace fatherhood again.
    Then she recalled the hunger that had stretched across his face. Maybe it wasn’t a miracle they needed, just some time?
    She fastened her jeans again, thanked the doctor and left the consulting room to find Alex pacing in the corridor. Without a word, he took her arm and led her outside to the car. He opened the passenger door for her, but she didn’t duck inside. She stood her ground until he met her eyes. ‘I’m sorry I put you through that. I’m sorry I asked you to stay when it quite obviously brought back bad memories for you.’
    ‘You have nothing to apologise for, Kit.’ His voice was clipped and short. ‘I’m just glad that your baby is well.’
    It’s your baby too! she wanted to shout as he walked around to the driver’s side.
    She ducked inside the car and waited until he was seated beside her. ‘If I’d known the scan would remind you of Chad I wouldn’t have asked you to stay.’
    He didn’t say anything.
    ‘The thing is—’ she swallowed ‘—I wouldn’t have thought the memory of Chad’s scan would be a bad thing. I’d have thought it’d be a happy memory.’
    ‘There is nothing happy to be had in any of those memories!’
    She flinched at his tone, its hardness. ‘I…I was afraid that the scan would show something bad. I couldn’t face that on my own. Your being there, it helped…thank you.’
     
     
    The pounding behind Alex’s eyes intensified at Kit’s simple words. Finding out her baby was well and healthy—it should have been a moment of joy for her. He’d ruined that.
    But he hadn’t been able to stay in that room a moment longer. His stomach had become a hard ball of anguish that he thought would split him in two. The picture on the screen and the sound of the baby’s heartbeat had threatened to tear him apart.
    A bead of perspiration detached itself from his nape to trickle all the way down his back.
    That’s not Kit’s fault.
    He closed his eyes and dragged in a breath, tried to grab the tatters of his control and shape them back into place around him. He would fix her house; he would make arrangements to pay her child support. He’d fulfil his obligations. And then he’d get the hell out of her life. He didn’t have anything more to offer her.
    He sent her a sidelong glance. She’d gone pale. The knowledge that he’d robbed her of her joy left a bitter taste in his mouth. He had to clench his hands on the steering wheel to stop from leaning forward and resting his head on it.
    He started up the car because there wasn’t anything else he could think to do. ‘I thought we could do some shopping, do something about the woeful state of your freezer. I figured it was time someone taught you to cook.’
    His attempt at levity didn’t work.
    ‘I don’t much feel like shopping.’
    Idiot! Why hadn’t he been able to control his reaction to the scan? She’d been ill. She was still recovering. He was supposed to be looking out for her.
    He opened his mouth to apologise, to explain, but the words wouldn’t come. He revved the car extra hard. He shoved his shoulders back. ‘You’re right. It’s time we got back. I’m expecting a delivery from the hardware store.’
     
     
    The delivery had already arrived by the time they returned. The wood was neatly stacked in the front garden beneath a tarpaulin. Frank was in the process of stacking all the tools Alex had hired onto the veranda out of the weather.
    He strode up to Alex and clapped him on the shoulder. ‘Howdy, neighbour.’
    The familiarity had him rolling his shoulders. ‘Hello, Frank.’ It took a concerted effort not to add, I’m only here temporarily, you know?
    ‘What did the doctor say, Kitty-Kat?’
    Kit lifted her chin and smiled at Frank with an easiness that made his heart burn. She hadn’t smiled at him like that since he’d arrived in Tuncurry.
    ‘I got the all-clear.