ate our dinner of rice and marinated eel that he suddenly looked up and remembered to ask, “Did you see the girl this morning?”
“Yes,” I answered. “We had a nice time.”
Then a silence so thick filled the kitchen, I could hear my chopsticks slide against the side of my bowl. I looked around the small kitchen, which held no signs of what had happened that afternoon.
Matsu set his bowl down and rubbed his chin. He had eaten very little and appeared restless. I thought it better to stay out of his way and keep quiet.
“There was trouble here this afternoon,” he suddenly said. His voice sounded low and tired.
“I know.”
Matsu looked at me, his eyes opening in surprise. “You know?”
“I came back and heard your voices. I didn’t know it was Kenzo until I heard the yelling.”
Matsu shook his head slowly. “Good, then I won’t have to explain to you why Sachi won’t be visiting us again.” He leaned forward on the wooden table. “Kenzo rarely comes out to the house, but he forgot to give me a letter for Sachi, so he decided to bring it himself. We were in the garden working when he came through the gate. We thought it was you returning, so Sachi made no move to hide. By the time I realized it wasn’t you, it was too late. Kenzo didn’t immediately know it was Sachi. He stood for a moment, as if surprised that a woman would be with me. It was Sachi who stood and bowed, addressing Kenzo by name. At the sound of her voice, I saw the light of recognition appear in Kenzo’s eyes. He took a step forward, then stopped, and whispered her name.
When Sachi bowed again and nodded her head, Kenzo simply stood speechless. It was Sachi who asked him into the house for tea.”
“What did you say?”
“What could I say? I had led Kenzo to think Sachi would never step foot out of Yamaguchi. It had been the truth until the storm brought her down.”
“Why does Kenzo still have such strong ties to Sachi?” I asked.
Matsu didn’t answer. Instead, he stood up and walked over to the small cabinet above the wooden basin. He took down a bottle of whiskey and a glass.
“They were once engaged to be married,” he finally answered. “Sachi was the only girl Kenzo ever loved. I was his best friend and his go-between when the disease came. At first he didn’t have the courage to face Sachi, but later when he realized how much he loved her, his family had forbidden him to go to Yamaguchi. So I became their only link.”
“What about your feelings?” I dared to ask.
Matsu poured the whiskey into the glass and took a large swallow. When he spoke again, his voice was tight. “Kenzo has been my best friend since we were young. If I felt anything for Sachi, he was never supposed to know.”
“But after all these years,” I said.
“I’ve never seen Kenzo so angry. In all the years we’ve known each other, there’s never been any anger. I have misled him, dishonoring myself and our friendship,” Matsu said as he emptied his glass.
“Why didn’t he just go to see Sachi himself after his parents died?”
“It was too late,” Matsu answered. “By then, the prospect of seeing her again frightened him. He was ashamed of his weakness. It was easier to speak through me.”
I paused a moment before I said, “There’s no reason why Sachi shouldn’t come back now.”
Matsu sat heavily down on his stool. “She has had to live through one disgrace in her lifetime, and because I have been a foolish old man, she will have to live through another.”
“I could talk to her.”
“It wouldn’t do any good,” Matsu simply said.
“I could try.”
Matsu suddenly leaned forward across the table. His strong, rough hand gripped my shoulder, and he said firmly, “I will not have Sachi hurt any more.”
WINTER
DECEMBER 5, 1937
I ’ve tried to paint again, but with little success. My thoughts have mostly been on Sachi’s abrupt return to Yamaguchi. Matsu has spent most of his time alone in the garden
“Yes,” I answered. “We had a nice time.”
Then a silence so thick filled the kitchen, I could hear my chopsticks slide against the side of my bowl. I looked around the small kitchen, which held no signs of what had happened that afternoon.
Matsu set his bowl down and rubbed his chin. He had eaten very little and appeared restless. I thought it better to stay out of his way and keep quiet.
“There was trouble here this afternoon,” he suddenly said. His voice sounded low and tired.
“I know.”
Matsu looked at me, his eyes opening in surprise. “You know?”
“I came back and heard your voices. I didn’t know it was Kenzo until I heard the yelling.”
Matsu shook his head slowly. “Good, then I won’t have to explain to you why Sachi won’t be visiting us again.” He leaned forward on the wooden table. “Kenzo rarely comes out to the house, but he forgot to give me a letter for Sachi, so he decided to bring it himself. We were in the garden working when he came through the gate. We thought it was you returning, so Sachi made no move to hide. By the time I realized it wasn’t you, it was too late. Kenzo didn’t immediately know it was Sachi. He stood for a moment, as if surprised that a woman would be with me. It was Sachi who stood and bowed, addressing Kenzo by name. At the sound of her voice, I saw the light of recognition appear in Kenzo’s eyes. He took a step forward, then stopped, and whispered her name.
When Sachi bowed again and nodded her head, Kenzo simply stood speechless. It was Sachi who asked him into the house for tea.”
“What did you say?”
“What could I say? I had led Kenzo to think Sachi would never step foot out of Yamaguchi. It had been the truth until the storm brought her down.”
“Why does Kenzo still have such strong ties to Sachi?” I asked.
Matsu didn’t answer. Instead, he stood up and walked over to the small cabinet above the wooden basin. He took down a bottle of whiskey and a glass.
“They were once engaged to be married,” he finally answered. “Sachi was the only girl Kenzo ever loved. I was his best friend and his go-between when the disease came. At first he didn’t have the courage to face Sachi, but later when he realized how much he loved her, his family had forbidden him to go to Yamaguchi. So I became their only link.”
“What about your feelings?” I dared to ask.
Matsu poured the whiskey into the glass and took a large swallow. When he spoke again, his voice was tight. “Kenzo has been my best friend since we were young. If I felt anything for Sachi, he was never supposed to know.”
“But after all these years,” I said.
“I’ve never seen Kenzo so angry. In all the years we’ve known each other, there’s never been any anger. I have misled him, dishonoring myself and our friendship,” Matsu said as he emptied his glass.
“Why didn’t he just go to see Sachi himself after his parents died?”
“It was too late,” Matsu answered. “By then, the prospect of seeing her again frightened him. He was ashamed of his weakness. It was easier to speak through me.”
I paused a moment before I said, “There’s no reason why Sachi shouldn’t come back now.”
Matsu sat heavily down on his stool. “She has had to live through one disgrace in her lifetime, and because I have been a foolish old man, she will have to live through another.”
“I could talk to her.”
“It wouldn’t do any good,” Matsu simply said.
“I could try.”
Matsu suddenly leaned forward across the table. His strong, rough hand gripped my shoulder, and he said firmly, “I will not have Sachi hurt any more.”
WINTER
DECEMBER 5, 1937
I ’ve tried to paint again, but with little success. My thoughts have mostly been on Sachi’s abrupt return to Yamaguchi. Matsu has spent most of his time alone in the garden
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