smiled, looked up, and asked, “Is everything all right?”
“Has Matsu- san led you to believe otherwise?” she asked.
“He said very little.”
Sachi laughed softly and sipped her tea. “It is just like Matsu,” she said, shaking her head. She sat down at the table across from me. “Matsu didn’t want to tell you that I could no longer go down to Tarumi. My presence there has brought great dishonor to all of you.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“I was seen by Kenzo- san on the morning you were gone.”
“What difference does that make?”
“I have disgraced you and Matsu, as well as myself.”
“You have disgraced no one,” I said.
Sachi lowered her eyes. “I should never have gone back down to Tarumi. I should have known better than to think the past had quietly gone away. Kenzo was so angry when he saw me with Matsu. He thought that we had purposely deceived him for all these years.”
“But you and Matsu might never have become friends if it weren’t—”
“There is no excuse,” Sachi interjected, her voice trembling.
I put down my teacup and looked hard at what I could see of Sachi’s pale, tired face, partially hidden under the dark scarf. Something in her voice made me want to reach across the table and take her hand. Without thinking I leaned toward her, and in the next instant my hand moved up and slipped under her scarf, resting on the white, puckered scars. They felt smoother than I expected, like the exposed veins on an arm. Sachi sat frozen at first, not really acknowledging what was happening. Her eyes reacted first, opening wide with realization as she let out a small cry and quickly turned away from me.
She rose from the table and backed away from me. “You must go now, Stephen- san .”
“I came here to tell you you don’t have to hide from us. The
scars make no difference to me, and I know they never did to Matsu,” I said frantically.
Sachi continued to back away. “I will not dishonor you any more than I have,” she repeated. “Please, you must go now.”
I stood up, my heart beating faster. I knew I couldn’t leave without convincing Sachi that she could never disgrace anyone. I didn’t want to upset her, and I had no idea what possessed me to touch her scars.
“I just want to talk,” I pleaded. “I’m sorry if I embarrassed you.”
Sachi shook her head slowly. “There is nothing to talk about.”
“There’s a great deal to talk about. Matsu needs you!” I said at last.
Sachi stopped. She seemed startled. She stood perfectly still for a moment, then, without saying a word, pulled the scarf down and away from her face. She turned the damaged side of her face to me, as her left eye strained to open wider. The scars appeared like a matted white web, stretched from her chin to her eye. Part of her nose was eaten away and there was a small depression near her mouth, which made her lower lip sag downward. I was more astounded to see her entire face uncovered than I was by the distorting scars. Her hair was pulled tightly back into a chignon, and in her good eye I could still see her youthful beauty. If Sachi was trying to shock me then she was in for a surprise. I had known from the moment I met her that she was very attractive. But it wasn’t until I came to know Sachi that I began to see how beautiful she really was.
“Does Matsu need this?” she whispered, the dark scarf gathered around her shoulders.
I never took my eyes away from her scarred face.
“Yes,” I answered.
Sachi bowed her head and said nothing.
I thought Sachi would lead me to the front door for a brief and final good-bye. Instead, she simply bowed and gestured for me to follow her. I stood up and waited, as she slid open the shoji panel which led out to her garden and we stepped outside.
The sunlight hurt my eyes as they adjusted to the bright light,
and to the spare clarity of the garden. The strong smell of wet pine added to the sense of peace and quiet she had
“Has Matsu- san led you to believe otherwise?” she asked.
“He said very little.”
Sachi laughed softly and sipped her tea. “It is just like Matsu,” she said, shaking her head. She sat down at the table across from me. “Matsu didn’t want to tell you that I could no longer go down to Tarumi. My presence there has brought great dishonor to all of you.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“I was seen by Kenzo- san on the morning you were gone.”
“What difference does that make?”
“I have disgraced you and Matsu, as well as myself.”
“You have disgraced no one,” I said.
Sachi lowered her eyes. “I should never have gone back down to Tarumi. I should have known better than to think the past had quietly gone away. Kenzo was so angry when he saw me with Matsu. He thought that we had purposely deceived him for all these years.”
“But you and Matsu might never have become friends if it weren’t—”
“There is no excuse,” Sachi interjected, her voice trembling.
I put down my teacup and looked hard at what I could see of Sachi’s pale, tired face, partially hidden under the dark scarf. Something in her voice made me want to reach across the table and take her hand. Without thinking I leaned toward her, and in the next instant my hand moved up and slipped under her scarf, resting on the white, puckered scars. They felt smoother than I expected, like the exposed veins on an arm. Sachi sat frozen at first, not really acknowledging what was happening. Her eyes reacted first, opening wide with realization as she let out a small cry and quickly turned away from me.
She rose from the table and backed away from me. “You must go now, Stephen- san .”
“I came here to tell you you don’t have to hide from us. The
scars make no difference to me, and I know they never did to Matsu,” I said frantically.
Sachi continued to back away. “I will not dishonor you any more than I have,” she repeated. “Please, you must go now.”
I stood up, my heart beating faster. I knew I couldn’t leave without convincing Sachi that she could never disgrace anyone. I didn’t want to upset her, and I had no idea what possessed me to touch her scars.
“I just want to talk,” I pleaded. “I’m sorry if I embarrassed you.”
Sachi shook her head slowly. “There is nothing to talk about.”
“There’s a great deal to talk about. Matsu needs you!” I said at last.
Sachi stopped. She seemed startled. She stood perfectly still for a moment, then, without saying a word, pulled the scarf down and away from her face. She turned the damaged side of her face to me, as her left eye strained to open wider. The scars appeared like a matted white web, stretched from her chin to her eye. Part of her nose was eaten away and there was a small depression near her mouth, which made her lower lip sag downward. I was more astounded to see her entire face uncovered than I was by the distorting scars. Her hair was pulled tightly back into a chignon, and in her good eye I could still see her youthful beauty. If Sachi was trying to shock me then she was in for a surprise. I had known from the moment I met her that she was very attractive. But it wasn’t until I came to know Sachi that I began to see how beautiful she really was.
“Does Matsu need this?” she whispered, the dark scarf gathered around her shoulders.
I never took my eyes away from her scarred face.
“Yes,” I answered.
Sachi bowed her head and said nothing.
I thought Sachi would lead me to the front door for a brief and final good-bye. Instead, she simply bowed and gestured for me to follow her. I stood up and waited, as she slid open the shoji panel which led out to her garden and we stepped outside.
The sunlight hurt my eyes as they adjusted to the bright light,
and to the spare clarity of the garden. The strong smell of wet pine added to the sense of peace and quiet she had
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