hotel? It's
getting late," he said.
"Sure, sir," Jake agreed.
"I'd like to stay," I objected. I hadn't even
gotten to see Kelsey yet. This was a family-defining moment; if
this whole situation was going to "work," as Jill had put it, then
I wanted to be included in the good parts and the bad parts. I felt
like I was being kicked out.
"Taylor, honey, it's been a hard day. You
need your rest. I can take it from here," Dad assured me.
His words were insulting. I could see what he
was doing – combining flattery and false concern – in an effort to
just get rid of me. Maybe he knew what Jake and I had seen back at
the concert arena and wanted me out of sight to prevent this
dramatic night from getting worse. I noticed that he was freshly
showered, his hair still damp, smelling strongly of soap and
aftershave. The fact that he had taken the time to groom himself
before driving over to the hospital to visit Kelsey infuriated me
even more.
Jake and I walked across the parking lot
quietly. It was nearing midnight and the only activity for miles
seemed to be nurses taking smoke breaks just outside the emergency
room entrance.
"Crazy night," Jake said, risking an attempt
at starting a conversation as we neared his car.
"Can we just sit here for a while?" I asked.
"I'm not ready to just go back to the hotel yet."
"Sure," he agreed.
"Really? Do you need to call your mom or
anything?" I asked, aware for the first time all evening that she
probably had no idea where he was.
"No, I'm sure she doesn't care where I am,"
he said dryly.
I hopped up and sat down on the hood of the
Saturn, and Jake sat down next to me. The bright lights of the
hospital seemed a million miles away behind our backs, and the
sound of crickets chirping seemed to swell as Jake and I fell into
a loaded silence. The sky was cloudless and speckled with steadfast
stars.
"Is your mom different when you're back in
Michigan?" I asked finally.
"Different in that she holds down a job and
gets up every morning, yes. But with me, no. When I was a little
kid I guess it was different, but for as long as I can remember
now, it's been just as much of me taking care of her as it's been
her taking care of me."
Those words struck me as very familiar.
"Yeah, I kind of understand what that's
like," I said.
Jake leaned back, propping himself up on one
elbow. "Yeah, my friends are all jealous, because I can DJ all
night and not get in trouble as long as I get myself to school in
the morning. My mom is pretty chill with that. But sometimes it
would be nice to have a mom who makes like, a real dinner. You
know? Or insists on having a real Christmas tree, or wears
sweatpants to the grocery store instead of… a zebra print bikini
top."
We both laughed. My mom was not guilty of
wearing animal print attire to go food shopping, but was definitely
guilty of flirting shamelessly with check-out boys, the fathers of
my friends, my male teachers. All of which had been mortifying.
"Everyone else's mom and dad are laying the
pressure on real thick about college these days," Jake continued
quietly. "Not my mom. On one hand I know she doesn't care what I do
with my life as long as I'm happy. But, on the other hand, she
just… doesn't care at all. That kind of sucks. It makes me feel
like no matter what I do, I'm on my own."
We were sitting so still that fireflies began
to swarm around us and punctuate the night sky with bursts of
light. For a moment it felt like Jake and I were the only two
people on earth, staring ahead at an empty highway. It felt to me
like I had known him my whole life instead of just a few short
weeks, and that at that point in time he was the only person in the
world who really knew me. The real me.
"I have to ask you something, and don't think
I'm a freak," I finally said.
Jake smiled. "Um, OK."
"Is there any chance you might be my
half-brother?" I asked.
Jake smiled so hard it looked like his face
might explode. "Uh, no chance," he assured me. "I know who
getting late," he said.
"Sure, sir," Jake agreed.
"I'd like to stay," I objected. I hadn't even
gotten to see Kelsey yet. This was a family-defining moment; if
this whole situation was going to "work," as Jill had put it, then
I wanted to be included in the good parts and the bad parts. I felt
like I was being kicked out.
"Taylor, honey, it's been a hard day. You
need your rest. I can take it from here," Dad assured me.
His words were insulting. I could see what he
was doing – combining flattery and false concern – in an effort to
just get rid of me. Maybe he knew what Jake and I had seen back at
the concert arena and wanted me out of sight to prevent this
dramatic night from getting worse. I noticed that he was freshly
showered, his hair still damp, smelling strongly of soap and
aftershave. The fact that he had taken the time to groom himself
before driving over to the hospital to visit Kelsey infuriated me
even more.
Jake and I walked across the parking lot
quietly. It was nearing midnight and the only activity for miles
seemed to be nurses taking smoke breaks just outside the emergency
room entrance.
"Crazy night," Jake said, risking an attempt
at starting a conversation as we neared his car.
"Can we just sit here for a while?" I asked.
"I'm not ready to just go back to the hotel yet."
"Sure," he agreed.
"Really? Do you need to call your mom or
anything?" I asked, aware for the first time all evening that she
probably had no idea where he was.
"No, I'm sure she doesn't care where I am,"
he said dryly.
I hopped up and sat down on the hood of the
Saturn, and Jake sat down next to me. The bright lights of the
hospital seemed a million miles away behind our backs, and the
sound of crickets chirping seemed to swell as Jake and I fell into
a loaded silence. The sky was cloudless and speckled with steadfast
stars.
"Is your mom different when you're back in
Michigan?" I asked finally.
"Different in that she holds down a job and
gets up every morning, yes. But with me, no. When I was a little
kid I guess it was different, but for as long as I can remember
now, it's been just as much of me taking care of her as it's been
her taking care of me."
Those words struck me as very familiar.
"Yeah, I kind of understand what that's
like," I said.
Jake leaned back, propping himself up on one
elbow. "Yeah, my friends are all jealous, because I can DJ all
night and not get in trouble as long as I get myself to school in
the morning. My mom is pretty chill with that. But sometimes it
would be nice to have a mom who makes like, a real dinner. You
know? Or insists on having a real Christmas tree, or wears
sweatpants to the grocery store instead of… a zebra print bikini
top."
We both laughed. My mom was not guilty of
wearing animal print attire to go food shopping, but was definitely
guilty of flirting shamelessly with check-out boys, the fathers of
my friends, my male teachers. All of which had been mortifying.
"Everyone else's mom and dad are laying the
pressure on real thick about college these days," Jake continued
quietly. "Not my mom. On one hand I know she doesn't care what I do
with my life as long as I'm happy. But, on the other hand, she
just… doesn't care at all. That kind of sucks. It makes me feel
like no matter what I do, I'm on my own."
We were sitting so still that fireflies began
to swarm around us and punctuate the night sky with bursts of
light. For a moment it felt like Jake and I were the only two
people on earth, staring ahead at an empty highway. It felt to me
like I had known him my whole life instead of just a few short
weeks, and that at that point in time he was the only person in the
world who really knew me. The real me.
"I have to ask you something, and don't think
I'm a freak," I finally said.
Jake smiled. "Um, OK."
"Is there any chance you might be my
half-brother?" I asked.
Jake smiled so hard it looked like his face
might explode. "Uh, no chance," he assured me. "I know who
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