The Real Soccer Moms of Beaver County by H.J. Bellus, Magan Vernon

and quite frankly, your beaver is old and it’s time that you sit it out!”
    Blanche opened her mouth to speak, but I cut her off. “Listen, I don’t want to hear what you have to say unless you’re asking me how you can help me file. It’s time to s-h-i-t or get off the pot. So you didn’t get what you wanted in L.A.? Now you come home and expect us all to be at your beck and call? Sorry, not going to happen anymore! You either help me work or you get out and find something else.”
    Blanche stood up slowly. I thought she was going to say something but instead she left the room, slamming the door behind her.
    Which only left me, two screaming kids, and a hell of a lot more work to do.

Chapter Thirteen
    G oing Hunting
    After one hell of a day, all I wanted to do was go and put my feet up.
    But no, it was another night of soccer practice.
    I thought after the last game, maybe Brady would volunteer to take the kids, but he was nowhere to be found.
    Moira and Harry were waiting in the parlor of the funeral home when I finally gathered all of the kids.
    “Ma, is Sadie walking with us to practice?” Harry asked, looking up at Moira with those big green eyes.
    Moira went to a taxidermy convention and met a guy in a One Direction cover band. After a few too many daiquiris, she wound up pregnant with Harry, who was now a spitting image of the boy bander he was named after.
    Moira offered a small smile to Harry. “I think she’s walking with Queenie and Annie”
    Harry rolled his eyes. “I hope her bitch mom didn’t say anything bad about me.”
    Moira’s eyes widened. “Harry! Where did you learn that kind of language?”
    Harry shrugged. “Sadie says that all the time. She says her mom is the biggest bitch, and the only good thing about Beaver Falls is that someday Sadie will be crowned Miss Beaver like her mommy and Nana.”
    “Maybe you’ll just have to show her that there’s more to life than being Miss Beaver,” Moira said with a small smile, mussing up his shaggy brown hair.
    We walked toward the fields with the kids running ahead of us, except for Ole who stayed snuggled in my Moby wrap.
    “Do you think you should try and talk to Blanche? Maybe pass an olive branch?” I asked Moira.
    Moira glared at me. “Really? The girl hasn’t changed since high school. Even you can admit that one. She’s always been about her looks and men. I remember when I tried out for A squad and she told everyone that the foreign chick would make A squad look like C squad. I went to the locker room crying and Doug consoled me…more than once.”
    “Ew, I really don’t want to hear about you and Douchey Doug, and you knew he was with Blanche. Why sleep with a taken guy?” I wrinkled my nose.
    She sighed. “I don’t know, because I was a stupid, hormonal teen girl that wanted to get back at Blanche?”
    “Well, now we’re grown-ups. I’m sure we can all get along,” I said more to myself than to her.
    Maybe I should have apologized to Blanche too.
    Maybe.
    But once we get to the soccer field and Blanche stared at me with that bitch face, while perching on the top bleacher next to Queenie like some Reality TV princess, I went right back into bitch mode.
    Harry and Saige immediately ran toward Annie and Sadie, smiling like they didn’t have a care in the world.
    They didn’t have to worry about working for everyone in the funeral home or a husband who was possibly cheating.
    Coach Miles blew his whistle, that I swear sounded like a dying cat and all of the kids line up.
    “You going to go in there and takeover coaching, Rocky?” Moira asked, bumping my shoulder.
    “That was a onetime thing. I’ve been under a lot of stress, okay?” I said, bouncing Ole as he started to fuss.
    Coach Miles clapped his hands together and I watched Moira practically salivate over him.
    I guess he was attractive, if you’re into that whole geeky thing with shaggy hair and a long, lean body. He kind of reminded me of all of those guys