The Real Soccer Moms of Beaver County by H.J. Bellus, Magan Vernon Page A

on superhero movies. The ones before they got bit by a spider or struck by lightning and they were still nerds.
    Maybe it was also because I’d never been with anyone besides Brady Morningwood, the all-American boy with his short brown hair and emerald eyes.
    But what if I wasn’t enough for him anymore? What if now he found greener grass on another field?
    “Honey are you crying? Moira asked.
    I swiped under my eyes, wiping away the fresh moisture. “No. It’s just my allergies acting up.”
    Immediately Moira’s arm was around my shoulder, pulling me to her.
    Blanche may have hated the girl, but I loved her as one of my best friends. She’d cried with me through all four of my pregnancies and even her own. She made working at the funeral home actually fun with someone to laugh with and not just stare at dead bodies all day.
    “Hey, why don’t we head over to Clancy’s place tomorrow during our lunch? Maybe we can see what’s going on with him and Brady then?” Moira asked.
    I sniffled and nod. “Okay. We can do that.”
    “Mommy, did you see that kick?” I heard Saige yell.
    I looked behind me to see my sweet little boy with his toothless smile and Coach Miles on the ground, holding his crown jewels.
    “I’ll go check on him…” Moira said with a smile on her lips.
    “You go get ‘em, Tiger.”

Chapter Fourteen
    S takeout Part One
    I watched the minutes on the clock tick by and they were taking forever.
    Thinking I should wait for Blanche to get back so someone could watch the phones, by the time she was ten minutes over her normally half-an-hour lunch time, I finally said “fuck it” and got up.
    When I walked into the taxidermy wing, Moira was elbow deep in a French poodle.
    “Um, are you too busy for a lunch break?” I raised an eyebrow.
    Moira turned around, her large black-framed glasses making her eyes look three times their normal size. “Lemme just clean up and I can finish stuffing one of Mr. Czermack’s prized poodles when we get back. I swear, he’s had like ten of them die on him since we started this business.”
    “Yeah, make sure to wash and sanitize. Really well,” I said, wrinkling my nose.
    Moira smirked and turned toward the small bathroom, going in, and emerging only a few minutes later, all cleaned up with her boobs again practically popping out of her little dress.
    I turned out of the room and we walked in step to the hearse, deciding against commenting on her outfit.
    Everything in Beaver Falls was walking distance: the grocery store, church, and of course school. We had the minivan for bigger trips, but of course Brady took that, so taking the hearse was our only other option.
    “Do you think it’s morbid we’re driving this?” Moira asked, sliding into the passenger seat.
    “What? You don’t like the plush red leather interior? Do you prefer beaver fur and guts?” I asked, pulling out of the driveway.
    “Ha, ha, you’re very funny. Where are we going anyway?”
    I turned off Beaverton Boulevard and headed west toward Dollywood. “Clancy’s.”
    “Why do we want to see that one-nutted guy? Don’t tell me that you invited me in for a ménage to get back at Brady. I told you I only did it that one time, and it was because I was low on rent money and that couple in Dollywood offered me a lot.”
    “Ew! No!” I screeched. “And that’s just gross.”
    “Hey, a grand’s a grand.”
    I gave her the side eye. “Someone in Dollywood seriously paid you a grand to have a threesome?”
    “Can we not talk about this and you answer my first question? Why the hell are we going to Clancy’s?”
    I sighed. “Brady’s been hanging out with him an awful lot, saying that he’s doing jobs for him. Brady is a great guy and good with his hands at some things, but we know he’s a half ass carpenter and no way Clancy would use him unless he was super desperate.”
    Moira snorted. “Okay, you have a point.”
    We headed down the road in the direction of Dollywood then