Sam.’
‘Sam?’
‘She’s about to sign her life away.’
‘She’s going to live with her father.’
‘Julius — this sounds ridiculous — I think he’s not her father.’
Julius blinked at Agnes against a sudden dazzle of sunlight. ‘Agnes, sit down, sit down. Is that what all this is about?’
Agnes sat next to Julius and he took her hand. She stared at her fingers, at his own entwined with them. She shook her head. ‘I don’t know. I just don’t know. These days when I pray it’s — it’s all confused. I mean, I’ve even caught myself thinking that I only ever became religious so that I’d have a proper father. An absolute, unconditional father. It’s ridiculous, Julius.’
‘Agnes, it’s not ridiculous at all.’
She touched the nail of his forefinger which was blackened from a recent injury. ‘What do I do about Sam?’
‘Well, she won’t go immediately, will she? If I were you, I’d use the time left to reassure myself that he is who he says he is.’
‘But we’ve already established that he is.’
‘All his papers are in order, and he has no criminal record. Everything that can be checked out has been. But if you’re still feeling like this, then you must put your mind at rest.’
Agnes stood up. ‘And in the meantime, who do I pray to?’
Julius walked to the door and opened it for her. ‘What I do sometimes, is just listen. Just listen and see who’s there.’
Agnes looked up at him. ‘It’s OK for you. You have a direct line.’ She kissed his cheek and left.
Julius went to his desk and sat down, his hand on the side of his face where she’d kissed it.
*
At eleven that morning Agnes sat down with Sam and Col.
‘We’ve got to think about where you two are going to live after today.’
‘I’m going to live with Mike,’ Sam said.
‘Not immediately,’ Agnes said. ‘Let’s be realistic.’ Sam set her face sullenly. ‘Look,’ Agnes went on, ‘nobody’s disputing that he’s entitled to a relationship with you. But living with —’
‘And does anyone care what I think?’ Sam said. ‘It’s not about what he’s fucking entitled to — it’s about my bloody future, right? And anyway, those social workers can’t wait to get me off their hands. Where else am I going to go?’
‘Fine,’ Agnes said wearily. ‘But between now and whenever it’s all settled, where are you going to go?’
‘The Ark,’ Sam said. ‘Where else?’
‘And you, Col?’
Col’s eyes flickered nervously to Sam’s face, then to Agnes’s. ‘Yup. The Ark,’ he said quietly.
‘Are you sure?’
‘I’ve nowhere else to go.’
And the dangers? Agnes wanted to ask, but realised there was no point asking. He was right, there was nowhere else. She felt suddenly annoyed with herself for having no solutions. The bed she’d scavenged for them was entirely temporary. She was as incapable of providing long-term solutions as anyone else.
‘Although —’ Col began, looking at Sam. He went on, ‘Sam says maybe when she gets to stay with Mike, I could go too.’
‘I’m not sure —’
‘It’ll be my house then,’ Sam said. ‘I can have all my mates to stay.’
It occurred to Agnes that this whole scheme of Mike’s might fall at the first hurdle; that once Mike had fully grasped the reality of having a teenage daughter, he might abandon the scheme at once. The idea of Mike being off the scene brought a feeling of relief; once again, Agnes wondered why.
That afternoon she drove Sam and Col back to the road camp, and decided to sleep there herself. As she turned off the main road up the dirt track, she was startled by a camera flash close to the windscreen. She just caught sight of a figure vanishing into the trees.
‘It’s starting, then,’ Sam said.
‘What’s starting?’
‘All that hassle they do. Jeff told me. Detectives, security people, harassment. It’s the run up to the eviction.’
She parked at the end of the track and the three of
‘Sam?’
‘She’s about to sign her life away.’
‘She’s going to live with her father.’
‘Julius — this sounds ridiculous — I think he’s not her father.’
Julius blinked at Agnes against a sudden dazzle of sunlight. ‘Agnes, sit down, sit down. Is that what all this is about?’
Agnes sat next to Julius and he took her hand. She stared at her fingers, at his own entwined with them. She shook her head. ‘I don’t know. I just don’t know. These days when I pray it’s — it’s all confused. I mean, I’ve even caught myself thinking that I only ever became religious so that I’d have a proper father. An absolute, unconditional father. It’s ridiculous, Julius.’
‘Agnes, it’s not ridiculous at all.’
She touched the nail of his forefinger which was blackened from a recent injury. ‘What do I do about Sam?’
‘Well, she won’t go immediately, will she? If I were you, I’d use the time left to reassure myself that he is who he says he is.’
‘But we’ve already established that he is.’
‘All his papers are in order, and he has no criminal record. Everything that can be checked out has been. But if you’re still feeling like this, then you must put your mind at rest.’
Agnes stood up. ‘And in the meantime, who do I pray to?’
Julius walked to the door and opened it for her. ‘What I do sometimes, is just listen. Just listen and see who’s there.’
Agnes looked up at him. ‘It’s OK for you. You have a direct line.’ She kissed his cheek and left.
Julius went to his desk and sat down, his hand on the side of his face where she’d kissed it.
*
At eleven that morning Agnes sat down with Sam and Col.
‘We’ve got to think about where you two are going to live after today.’
‘I’m going to live with Mike,’ Sam said.
‘Not immediately,’ Agnes said. ‘Let’s be realistic.’ Sam set her face sullenly. ‘Look,’ Agnes went on, ‘nobody’s disputing that he’s entitled to a relationship with you. But living with —’
‘And does anyone care what I think?’ Sam said. ‘It’s not about what he’s fucking entitled to — it’s about my bloody future, right? And anyway, those social workers can’t wait to get me off their hands. Where else am I going to go?’
‘Fine,’ Agnes said wearily. ‘But between now and whenever it’s all settled, where are you going to go?’
‘The Ark,’ Sam said. ‘Where else?’
‘And you, Col?’
Col’s eyes flickered nervously to Sam’s face, then to Agnes’s. ‘Yup. The Ark,’ he said quietly.
‘Are you sure?’
‘I’ve nowhere else to go.’
And the dangers? Agnes wanted to ask, but realised there was no point asking. He was right, there was nowhere else. She felt suddenly annoyed with herself for having no solutions. The bed she’d scavenged for them was entirely temporary. She was as incapable of providing long-term solutions as anyone else.
‘Although —’ Col began, looking at Sam. He went on, ‘Sam says maybe when she gets to stay with Mike, I could go too.’
‘I’m not sure —’
‘It’ll be my house then,’ Sam said. ‘I can have all my mates to stay.’
It occurred to Agnes that this whole scheme of Mike’s might fall at the first hurdle; that once Mike had fully grasped the reality of having a teenage daughter, he might abandon the scheme at once. The idea of Mike being off the scene brought a feeling of relief; once again, Agnes wondered why.
That afternoon she drove Sam and Col back to the road camp, and decided to sleep there herself. As she turned off the main road up the dirt track, she was startled by a camera flash close to the windscreen. She just caught sight of a figure vanishing into the trees.
‘It’s starting, then,’ Sam said.
‘What’s starting?’
‘All that hassle they do. Jeff told me. Detectives, security people, harassment. It’s the run up to the eviction.’
She parked at the end of the track and the three of
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