was absolutely seething. I didn’t want Deacon here and I most certainly didn’t want my family growing attached to him. Mara began to clear the last of the plates which meant dinner was over which also meant that Deacon could now go.
“Dinners finished Deacon. Feel free to leave now.” I think I slurred most of that. Not my finest hour.
“Dana stop being so rude. And in case you’ve forgotten he’s my guest and I don’t want him to leave yet.” Lana batted her eyelashes in Deacons direction.
“Why don’t you go and stick your nose into someone else’s business.” I spat at her.
I heard somewhere in the background Pops tell Jakey, Joe and Deacon to leave us to it. Something about us hating each other for five minutes but if they interfere we’ll hate them for fifty years. Joe and Jakey knew the drill when an argument started but I was guessing this was some new kind of fresh hell erupting from Deacons viewpoint.
“You’ve got your pretty little head stuck in the sand Dana just letting life flit by you while you wallow in self pity. Enough already. You got burned big time. I get it. We all get it. But you need to wake the hell up and see what’s in front of you. That man you insulted likes you. Really likes you and he’s more than half decent but you won’t even let him get a look in.” Lana was not playing now and was shouting right back at me.
“Mind your own business Lana. Sort your own fucked up love life out before you start getting into mine.” I was absolutely fuming now. The buzz of the wine had well and truly burned off.
“Dana, none of us are trying to interfere we just want you to be happy and maybe take a chance on someone else.” This time it was Saz trying to reason with me and I don’t know why I said what I did but it came out of my mouth anyway.
“You know what? The last person to get involved in my love life after I specifically told them I wasn’t interested in the guy in question was you. And guess what, I ended up with Mitchell. So if I seem a little cautious or I’m not moving with a pace that you agree with, thank yourself for that because your name is stamped on that fuck up.” Saz looked liked I’d slapped her. I knew she felt responsible for what happened between Mitchell and I. She had apologized to me over and over again when she knew what had happened and I used it her against her. I was still so wrapped up in my anger I couldn’t tell her sorry. The room had gone dead silent and I used it as an appropriate moment to turn and head to my old bedroom. I flung myself across my bed and buried my face in my pillows. I was so confused and my head and my heart were hurting.
It wasn’t long before there was a sharp rap on the door and then I heard Pops’ voice.
“Sprog, is it safe to come in?” Pops never knew whether he’d walk in our rooms and find us crying or hurling things around after one of our arguments. I felt sorry for him. It couldn’t have been easy living in a house full of women.
I sighed and rolled over, looking up at the ceiling. I used to stick my posters of the Backstreet Boys on there so I could watch them before I fell asleep. “Yes, Pops.”
“How you feeling Sprog?” He sat down on the bed beside my head.
“Like a fat cow. I shouldn’t have said what I did to Saz. I know she still feels awful and I just rammed that all down her throat. What kind of a friend am I?” I was beginning to cry now which usually sent Pops running to get Ma but he stayed where he was .
“Not a very good one. But you’ll find her, you’ll apologize and you’ll make things right between the two of you. Now what are you going to do about that nice man downstairs?” I could feel Pops’ eyes burning into and I wasn’t about to meet them because I didn’t know what I was going to do.
“Pops I’m not
“Dinners finished Deacon. Feel free to leave now.” I think I slurred most of that. Not my finest hour.
“Dana stop being so rude. And in case you’ve forgotten he’s my guest and I don’t want him to leave yet.” Lana batted her eyelashes in Deacons direction.
“Why don’t you go and stick your nose into someone else’s business.” I spat at her.
I heard somewhere in the background Pops tell Jakey, Joe and Deacon to leave us to it. Something about us hating each other for five minutes but if they interfere we’ll hate them for fifty years. Joe and Jakey knew the drill when an argument started but I was guessing this was some new kind of fresh hell erupting from Deacons viewpoint.
“You’ve got your pretty little head stuck in the sand Dana just letting life flit by you while you wallow in self pity. Enough already. You got burned big time. I get it. We all get it. But you need to wake the hell up and see what’s in front of you. That man you insulted likes you. Really likes you and he’s more than half decent but you won’t even let him get a look in.” Lana was not playing now and was shouting right back at me.
“Mind your own business Lana. Sort your own fucked up love life out before you start getting into mine.” I was absolutely fuming now. The buzz of the wine had well and truly burned off.
“Dana, none of us are trying to interfere we just want you to be happy and maybe take a chance on someone else.” This time it was Saz trying to reason with me and I don’t know why I said what I did but it came out of my mouth anyway.
“You know what? The last person to get involved in my love life after I specifically told them I wasn’t interested in the guy in question was you. And guess what, I ended up with Mitchell. So if I seem a little cautious or I’m not moving with a pace that you agree with, thank yourself for that because your name is stamped on that fuck up.” Saz looked liked I’d slapped her. I knew she felt responsible for what happened between Mitchell and I. She had apologized to me over and over again when she knew what had happened and I used it her against her. I was still so wrapped up in my anger I couldn’t tell her sorry. The room had gone dead silent and I used it as an appropriate moment to turn and head to my old bedroom. I flung myself across my bed and buried my face in my pillows. I was so confused and my head and my heart were hurting.
It wasn’t long before there was a sharp rap on the door and then I heard Pops’ voice.
“Sprog, is it safe to come in?” Pops never knew whether he’d walk in our rooms and find us crying or hurling things around after one of our arguments. I felt sorry for him. It couldn’t have been easy living in a house full of women.
I sighed and rolled over, looking up at the ceiling. I used to stick my posters of the Backstreet Boys on there so I could watch them before I fell asleep. “Yes, Pops.”
“How you feeling Sprog?” He sat down on the bed beside my head.
“Like a fat cow. I shouldn’t have said what I did to Saz. I know she still feels awful and I just rammed that all down her throat. What kind of a friend am I?” I was beginning to cry now which usually sent Pops running to get Ma but he stayed where he was .
“Not a very good one. But you’ll find her, you’ll apologize and you’ll make things right between the two of you. Now what are you going to do about that nice man downstairs?” I could feel Pops’ eyes burning into and I wasn’t about to meet them because I didn’t know what I was going to do.
“Pops I’m not
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