bad enough to actually be called “the Badlands”—it’s a situation that requires direct action.
“We’re getting out of here,” I say.
“How? Magic?”
I tap my handcuffs against the ground behind me. The pieces of Mortin’s lighter, which were stuck to my skin with dried blood, fall off. I peek around to see: two of them are metal slivers, about a half inch long, that look great for picking locks.
37
ADA RAISES HER EYEBROWS AT ME. A shadow passes by the door to the cell. I stop moving. A fish creature—a batracian—looks in at us for a few terrifying moments, then moves on. I nod for Ada to give me her hands. With our backs to each other, using the tips of my fingers, working blind, I lift a metal sliver and ease it into the keyhole on her handcuffs.
I remember Jake’s words: Everything’s like sex. I close my eyes. I have a Creatures & Caverns book with pages and pages on lock picking. I can do this. In a game I would roll dice. In real life I just have to do it.
I press the metal sliver against the inside of the lock and try to turn it. This will be my tension wrench. To pick a lock, you have to first apply tension to it and then push the individual pins up one by one until the lock clicks and turns. I’ll have to hold one piece of metal steady while I explore with the other. The good thing is that, even though my wrists are shackled, I can freely move my fingers; I just can’t see them. I pinch the tension wrench against the lock while I insert the other piece: my pick.
I feel one of the pins. It sits in the shaft of the lock. I push itup with the pick as I turn with the tension wrench. Click. The pin settles on top of the turning shaft.
“Holy crap!”
“ Shh! Did you get it?”
“Not yet.”
“Well, hurry up!”
I feel for the next pin. As I do, my fingers slip, the tension wrench comes out, and I have to start over. No! This has to work. Eventually I’m going to need to use the bathroom, and I’m not doing it in a trough in front of Ada.
I get the first pin clicked again. Then the second. The third one I have to push up very far, the fourth only a little. The world inside the lock magnifies in an exploded view behind my closed eyes; my tiniest motions take on great significance, like when you play with your mouth when you have a cold sore. The last pin won’t move, so I pull the pick out, turn around, spit on it, and stick it back in. Click. Ada’s cuffs spread open and slip onto the stone floor.
“ Yes! ” she whispers. She rubs her hands. “Now I’ll do you.” She picks my cuffs in about a tenth of the time. “These local locks—cheap. We’re lucky.”
“I thought I was good.”
“No.” She smiles. “You’re good. Now don’t start moving your hands. They might see us. Stay calm and follow me into that corner.” We shuffle over. Ada picks the locks on both our feet. “Now you need to get ready to run. Can you do that?”
I test my ankle. “I think so. Can I bring the princess figure?”
“Yes, Peregrine, get the princess figure.”
I slip it into the side of my getma, nestled against my hip bone. “I feel like it’s calling to me.”
“It is. You just have to kiss Anna at your camp and you’ll do what it wants you to do.”
“What about you?”
“Excuse me?”
“Can I kiss you? Before we try to get out of here. Just in case.”
“What?”
“Like, what if we get caught? I’ve never kissed a girl. I don’t want to die without doing it. I—”
“No, you can’t kiss me, Peregrine. Anna’s the one you need to kiss. Didn’t anybody ever explain to you that you shouldn’t ask to kiss girls?”
“No. I thought it would—”
“If you want to kiss someone, you just have to do it .”
“Right. Okay.”
I pucker my lips and lean forward. Ada pulls aside. “Not me, Peregrine!”
I wipe my lips on my shoulder and pretend that that’s what I meant to do all along. Normally this kind of social failure would make me want to die via
“We’re getting out of here,” I say.
“How? Magic?”
I tap my handcuffs against the ground behind me. The pieces of Mortin’s lighter, which were stuck to my skin with dried blood, fall off. I peek around to see: two of them are metal slivers, about a half inch long, that look great for picking locks.
37
ADA RAISES HER EYEBROWS AT ME. A shadow passes by the door to the cell. I stop moving. A fish creature—a batracian—looks in at us for a few terrifying moments, then moves on. I nod for Ada to give me her hands. With our backs to each other, using the tips of my fingers, working blind, I lift a metal sliver and ease it into the keyhole on her handcuffs.
I remember Jake’s words: Everything’s like sex. I close my eyes. I have a Creatures & Caverns book with pages and pages on lock picking. I can do this. In a game I would roll dice. In real life I just have to do it.
I press the metal sliver against the inside of the lock and try to turn it. This will be my tension wrench. To pick a lock, you have to first apply tension to it and then push the individual pins up one by one until the lock clicks and turns. I’ll have to hold one piece of metal steady while I explore with the other. The good thing is that, even though my wrists are shackled, I can freely move my fingers; I just can’t see them. I pinch the tension wrench against the lock while I insert the other piece: my pick.
I feel one of the pins. It sits in the shaft of the lock. I push itup with the pick as I turn with the tension wrench. Click. The pin settles on top of the turning shaft.
“Holy crap!”
“ Shh! Did you get it?”
“Not yet.”
“Well, hurry up!”
I feel for the next pin. As I do, my fingers slip, the tension wrench comes out, and I have to start over. No! This has to work. Eventually I’m going to need to use the bathroom, and I’m not doing it in a trough in front of Ada.
I get the first pin clicked again. Then the second. The third one I have to push up very far, the fourth only a little. The world inside the lock magnifies in an exploded view behind my closed eyes; my tiniest motions take on great significance, like when you play with your mouth when you have a cold sore. The last pin won’t move, so I pull the pick out, turn around, spit on it, and stick it back in. Click. Ada’s cuffs spread open and slip onto the stone floor.
“ Yes! ” she whispers. She rubs her hands. “Now I’ll do you.” She picks my cuffs in about a tenth of the time. “These local locks—cheap. We’re lucky.”
“I thought I was good.”
“No.” She smiles. “You’re good. Now don’t start moving your hands. They might see us. Stay calm and follow me into that corner.” We shuffle over. Ada picks the locks on both our feet. “Now you need to get ready to run. Can you do that?”
I test my ankle. “I think so. Can I bring the princess figure?”
“Yes, Peregrine, get the princess figure.”
I slip it into the side of my getma, nestled against my hip bone. “I feel like it’s calling to me.”
“It is. You just have to kiss Anna at your camp and you’ll do what it wants you to do.”
“What about you?”
“Excuse me?”
“Can I kiss you? Before we try to get out of here. Just in case.”
“What?”
“Like, what if we get caught? I’ve never kissed a girl. I don’t want to die without doing it. I—”
“No, you can’t kiss me, Peregrine. Anna’s the one you need to kiss. Didn’t anybody ever explain to you that you shouldn’t ask to kiss girls?”
“No. I thought it would—”
“If you want to kiss someone, you just have to do it .”
“Right. Okay.”
I pucker my lips and lean forward. Ada pulls aside. “Not me, Peregrine!”
I wipe my lips on my shoulder and pretend that that’s what I meant to do all along. Normally this kind of social failure would make me want to die via
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