Eckert?”
He’s ten feet away. “I … uh …” I back against Ada. “My mother used to make me go to Episcopalian church.... I never really believed in it, but I liked the community....”
“You’re not supposed to answer,” Officer Tendrile says, furrowing his considerable brow. “That’s just something I ask humans before I kill them.”
“You’re not killing me,” I manage, “so it makes sense that you would get a different answer.”
“What are you doing?” Ada hisses. “We’re not getting through there!”
“Fire door,” I say. I grab her wrist and run to the right.
39
OFFICER TENDRILE SWINGS AT ME, BUT I suck in my chest to avoid the tip of his blade. I’ve spotted a passageway that leads along the rock wall next to the giant doors. The other celate, seeing my speed (maybe I’m more than 7! I’ve never really tested myself) spills his coffee and yelps. I know we have a few seconds before he’s not-burned enough to kill us.
The rock is cool and dry under my feet. The seam that leads away from the doors is big enough for me and Ada.... I hope it’s too tight for Officer Tendrile. Tentacle noises behind me destroy that notion. He’s closing in. The only chance we have is to reach a door I don’t know is there.
“What are you doing ?” Ada gasps.
“Whenever there’s a big door, there’s a small door.” I hope I’m not a liar. I’m looking for a service entrance, something like the fire door at school that Sam could open and close so freely.
“If you stop now, I’ll kill you quick!” Officer Tendrile yells. I turn back—his tentacles pump on the floor and walls beside him, propelling him through the passage like a tumescentinsect. His sword is out. He’ll be on us in seconds—
There. A door cut into the wall on the left. Small and gray with a red bar across it. Emergency.
“‘Alarm Will Sound,’” I tell Ada, and shove it open.
40
A RAUCOUS CLANG HERALDS OUR TUMBLING into the Penner marketplace. Opening the door pulled a string to set off an array of bells. People stop their selling and haggling and cursing and spitting and eating smelly meat on sticks to point at us.
“Othersider!”
“Human!”
“Female!”
Officer Tendrile powers out the door, a mass of tentacles and torso, and swings at me. His blade glints and the glint speaks to me— duck!— and I grab Ada and crouch as the sword decapitates the air above me. I pull Ada away and trip into a meat stand, upsetting a sizzling grill, knocking it into a bewildered frog-head. I apologize and pick up some meat on a stick and throw it at Officer Tendrile. He catches it in his mouth and chews as he advances. He doesn’t just chew the meat; he chews the stick.
“What you do? What you do? You destroy my stand!” the frog-head yells. Ada and I are surrounded by peppers and broken plates and utensils and spices and gawking creatures,and the alarm is still sounding and I think, Really, if this is a dream or a hallucination, now is the time for it to stop, when the bad guy is coming forward munching on the last thing I’ve tried to use as a weapon against him.
“This kind of property damage, you realize it comes out of my paycheck?” Officer Tendrile smiles.
“I … I’m sorry.”
Ada holds my arm. I don’t think she’s holding it because she likes me; I think she’s holding it because she wants to be holding on to something warm when we die. But it’s still there and it still counts for something. I grab her hand and hold it tight. What with the failed kiss in the jail cell, this is officially the farthest I’ve been with a girl. Holding hands might not count for a lot of people, but it counts a hell of a lot for me. I’m not letting anybody hurt Ada. Not a blue hair on her head. And I’m not letting the princess down. I’m going to be a man about this.
“No,” I declare. “No, I’m not sorry, Officer Tendrile. You can cut me open if you like, but I want everyone here to know that I’m not
He’s ten feet away. “I … uh …” I back against Ada. “My mother used to make me go to Episcopalian church.... I never really believed in it, but I liked the community....”
“You’re not supposed to answer,” Officer Tendrile says, furrowing his considerable brow. “That’s just something I ask humans before I kill them.”
“You’re not killing me,” I manage, “so it makes sense that you would get a different answer.”
“What are you doing?” Ada hisses. “We’re not getting through there!”
“Fire door,” I say. I grab her wrist and run to the right.
39
OFFICER TENDRILE SWINGS AT ME, BUT I suck in my chest to avoid the tip of his blade. I’ve spotted a passageway that leads along the rock wall next to the giant doors. The other celate, seeing my speed (maybe I’m more than 7! I’ve never really tested myself) spills his coffee and yelps. I know we have a few seconds before he’s not-burned enough to kill us.
The rock is cool and dry under my feet. The seam that leads away from the doors is big enough for me and Ada.... I hope it’s too tight for Officer Tendrile. Tentacle noises behind me destroy that notion. He’s closing in. The only chance we have is to reach a door I don’t know is there.
“What are you doing ?” Ada gasps.
“Whenever there’s a big door, there’s a small door.” I hope I’m not a liar. I’m looking for a service entrance, something like the fire door at school that Sam could open and close so freely.
“If you stop now, I’ll kill you quick!” Officer Tendrile yells. I turn back—his tentacles pump on the floor and walls beside him, propelling him through the passage like a tumescentinsect. His sword is out. He’ll be on us in seconds—
There. A door cut into the wall on the left. Small and gray with a red bar across it. Emergency.
“‘Alarm Will Sound,’” I tell Ada, and shove it open.
40
A RAUCOUS CLANG HERALDS OUR TUMBLING into the Penner marketplace. Opening the door pulled a string to set off an array of bells. People stop their selling and haggling and cursing and spitting and eating smelly meat on sticks to point at us.
“Othersider!”
“Human!”
“Female!”
Officer Tendrile powers out the door, a mass of tentacles and torso, and swings at me. His blade glints and the glint speaks to me— duck!— and I grab Ada and crouch as the sword decapitates the air above me. I pull Ada away and trip into a meat stand, upsetting a sizzling grill, knocking it into a bewildered frog-head. I apologize and pick up some meat on a stick and throw it at Officer Tendrile. He catches it in his mouth and chews as he advances. He doesn’t just chew the meat; he chews the stick.
“What you do? What you do? You destroy my stand!” the frog-head yells. Ada and I are surrounded by peppers and broken plates and utensils and spices and gawking creatures,and the alarm is still sounding and I think, Really, if this is a dream or a hallucination, now is the time for it to stop, when the bad guy is coming forward munching on the last thing I’ve tried to use as a weapon against him.
“This kind of property damage, you realize it comes out of my paycheck?” Officer Tendrile smiles.
“I … I’m sorry.”
Ada holds my arm. I don’t think she’s holding it because she likes me; I think she’s holding it because she wants to be holding on to something warm when we die. But it’s still there and it still counts for something. I grab her hand and hold it tight. What with the failed kiss in the jail cell, this is officially the farthest I’ve been with a girl. Holding hands might not count for a lot of people, but it counts a hell of a lot for me. I’m not letting anybody hurt Ada. Not a blue hair on her head. And I’m not letting the princess down. I’m going to be a man about this.
“No,” I declare. “No, I’m not sorry, Officer Tendrile. You can cut me open if you like, but I want everyone here to know that I’m not
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