The New Bottoming Book by Dossie Easton, Janet W. Hardy Page B

visual sense makes the bottom less powerful and more dependent, gives her a gratifying sense of helplessness, and tends to turn off verbal and intellectual consciousness. The focus goes inward, and any touch, painful or sensual, becomes terrifically intensified. For an added attraction, blindfolds offer some protection to new or nervous tops, as their bottoms can't see them fumbling with an unfamiliar toy.

    Earplugs provide a feeling of floating, totally disconnected from reality, completely focused on sensation. Earplugs actually only cut some of your hearing - even if you use the foam ones from the drugstore, and add fur earmuffs over, you will be able to hear your top when she is close, but not when she is farther away than about four feet. In a scene with more than one top, the tops can hold conversations out of earshot of a person wearing earplugs. Earphones with music can provide more complete isolation.

    A few players get a heady rush from breath control, by choking with the hands or cutting off air in a gas mask, often simultaneously with sexual stimulation. This is advanced and very risky play; such constriction can cut off impulses to the nerve that controls your heartbeat, landing you in a coffin and your top in prison. If breath control play turns you on, we suggest that you learn a lot about it and then proceed very slowly with great caution. Taking choking to the point of blacking out is dangerous, and multiple blackouts extremely so. Some people practice autoerotic asphyxiation by putting themselves in bondage that constricts the neck and masturbating. Autoerotic asphyxiation kills hundreds yearly, and we do not advocate it under any circumstances.

    Gags, a safer alternative, change the senses not only by removing your ability to speak (you can usually still grunt and moan) but also by forcing you to breathe more slowly, and thus relax more. The intrusion of the gag into the mouth changes perception by providing a constant stimulus in a place you normally have as your own. Gags also give you permission to bite, in much the same way that bondage gives you permission to struggle.

    People vary widely in their physical ability to tolerate gags. A sore jaw is a good reason to limit either the length of time gagged, or the size of the gag. If your nose is stuffed up, either get a good shot of nasal decongestant spray beforehand or don't allow yourself to be gagged at all. Your top should stay extra-close to you at all times when you're gagged. Remember to negotiate a nonverbal safeword before the gag goes in!

    All forms of sensory deprivation can be both sexy and entrancing, and can get the bottom, and vicariously the top, into a transcendent state of altered perception where the lightest touch can feel like a miracle, and a sexual stroke becomes the only event in the universe.

Dominance and Submission

    This is an incredibly broad category that can include all forms of giving up or taking power, from an hour of teacher/schoolboy roleplay to a deeply felt owner/slave relationship that lasts for decades. What all the scenes
    we'll talk about here have in common is that they draw their heat from recreating the power-over situations of the real world, but in ways that feel safe, sexy, growthful and enjoyable for all concerned.

    In order to play safely with power, it's important to have a clear understanding of where the power disparity between you and your top begins and ends. Are you doing it for the duration of a scene, for a day, for a weekend, a month, a year? Will the dominants power end at the dungeon or bedroom door, or will it extend into other parts of your life like your work or relationships? What kinds of power do you want to give to your partner, and what kinds do you want to keep for yourself?

    We have seen players come to grief by assuming that the only "right" way to play with power is to give as much of it away as possible - they leap from "Hi, my name is Susie" to a 24-hour-a-day,