The Monster Within by Jeremy Laszlo Page B

linger a little longer than I like. What the fuck is he thinking? Is he checking out a victim? He turns back and catches me staring but he doesn’t react to being caught. He just reaches into his breast pocket and fishes out a card and hands it to me. Officer Miguel Ruiz. Sanchez? I was way off. I look at the card and then look back up to him and he greets my gaze with a warm, friendly smile. Sure, he showed up twenty minutes after I called in and with only one other officer, but hey, at least he’s got a warm smile.
    “If you think of anything, Ted.” Officer Ruiz extends his hand for me to shake it. I shake his hand, but it lacks the energy, the terror, and the sensation of the gunman’s touch. It feels distant, like there’s a buffer all around me and I can no longer feel a thing. It has me worried. It has me on edge. I look at him and he gives me another one of his trademark smiles. “Don’t hesitate to give me a call. And don’t worry about your boss docking your pay. I’m sure we’ll catch the guy. He robbed a gas station in broad daylight and we’ve got his license, his face, and his car all on camera. We’ll have him and the money back in no time.”
    “A lot of experience in robberies like this?” I ask cautiously, too afraid to feed the blossoming hope inside of me.
    Officer Ruiz gives me a practiced line that is clearly a lie that he’s rehearsed over and over with his other fellow officers. “Yeah,” he flips his notepad closed and stuffs it in his breast pocket. “He’s a desperate sort of guy to do something as stupid as this. I’m sure we’ll have him by morning. Don’t worry about it. You folks are safe now.”
    The white, buzz cut officer gives Courtney a handshake and just nods at me as they both leave the station. One of them is talking on his radio and the other is checking his cellphone. Clearly they’re off to help another victim twenty minutes late. I look over at Courtney, who is still offering me her quiet, sad smile. In the doorway, short Mr. Chen is standing with a scowl written across his face. He’s looking at me with lightning and fire behind his dark, little eyes.
    “You are in big trouble, Teddy Boy.” Mr. Chen has a habit of calling me that when he’s angry, thinking that it gives him superiority to mock my name. I don’t feel intimidated by it now, just like I’ve never felt intimidated by it. “You are going to have to work double shifts to make up for the money you lost me—”
    “You know what, Chen,” I say with a disgusted tone in my voice. I don’t know where this boldness is coming from, but I like it. I feel powerful standing over him like a giant, ready to squish a trembling rabbit. “Fuck you and fuck this job. I quit.”
    “What?” Chen snaps as I hold out my hand gesturing to Courtney. She walks out ahead of me with a broad, embarrassed grin across her pretty face. I’m not sure if she’s embarrassed for me, or if she’s embarrassed for Chen. I don’t really care. I’m alive, I don’t’ have a bullet in my head, and there’s a beautiful girl that likes me. Why should I feel terrible? Besides, it’s not like my life is going anywhere important with Mr. Chen’s gas station. Hell, maybe I will have that date with Courtney tonight. “You can’t quit!” Chen shrieks as I follow Courtney by twenty feet through the doors. “You owe me money, Teddy Boy! You going to have to pay me back!”
    I flip him the bird as the door closes and Courtney laughs, still ahead of me. I think she’s embarrassed to be caught in the middle of all of this. I look at her in the harsh light of the gas station’s rustic exterior and catch up to her as she stops and turns back to face me. As she turns, she looks at me with wonderstruck eyes, distant and pleased.
    “I’m going to go home and get ready,” I tell her with a sound of determination in my voice, like an explorer headed out on a grand and dangerous expedition that I’m inviting her along on. She