those of you who can envision combining households not to be shy about raising this possibility and starting the conversation. I think for many families—across generations—it could be the path toward ensuring everyone’s new dreams are realized, together.
Do your parents have their essential legal documents updated? It’s not enough that they drew up a will or revocable living trust 10 or 20 years ago. They—and you—need to make sure that those documents are up to date. If there has been a death, divorce, or remarriage, they might inadvertently be disinheriting you.
Go to The Classroom at www.suzeorman.com :
I have written extensively in the past on the essential documents every adult must have. On my website you can find articles on why a simple will is often not nearly enough protection for you and your loved ones, and on how to put together the key essential documents: a will, a revocable living trust, and an advance directive.
Make sure, too, that your parents have an advance directive that spells out what level of medical intervention they want if they ever become too incapacitated to speak for themselves—and that they give you a copy. Without that document, adult children are exposed to unnecessary heartache, and often irreparable sibling arguments, about how to handle end-of-life decisions. The parent can make sure it never comes to that, by having this document in place.
When a Parent Remarries
We tend to think of the impact of blended families mainly in terms of small children, but the truth is, adult children need to pay attention here too. Very often when a parent remarries, he or she moves into a new home and takes ownership as joint tenant with right of survivorship (JTWROS). That means that when one co-owner dies the other inherits full control of the home. So let’s say your mom remarries and puts money down for a new home she moves into with your stepfather. He is a great guy, don’t get me wrong. But if Mom and Stepdad own the home as JTWROS, and she dies first, your stepdad has full ownership of the home, with no legal obligation to leave you any portion of the home when he passes. Mom didn’t mean to disinherit you, but it can happen nonetheless. Please understand that even if Mom’s will or trust says you are to inherit her stake, it doesn’t matter. How the home is owned—the title—overrides what is in a will or trust. What your mom and stepdad should have done is take title as Tenants-in-Common; at either’s death, their portion of the home would pass to their heirs, not the surviving spouse. (At that point the heirs could then make arrangements, if they chose, to allow the surviving spouse to remain in the home until his/her death.) In The Classroom on my website I review the various ways you can take title to property.
So while you’re having those very adult conversations with your parents, you might want to touch on the matter of how their house is owned and what they would like to happen to it in the event of their passing. And then make sure their will and trust reflect their wishes.
I recognize that these may not be the easiest of conversations to initiate, but bring the right energy to the task and I think you may be surprised by how cathartic this could be for everyone. The goal here is to establish that your parents have what they need for a comfortable and secure retirement. In my opinion, it is a great way to honor your parents—to show them they have raised responsible, thoughtful, farsighted children with their best interests at heart. What a powerful legacy that is.
LESSON 6. ADVICE FOR GRANDPARENTS: HOW TO BUILD A LASTING LEGACY
According to a recent poll by the MetLife insurance company, grandparents bestowed $370 billion in financial support on their grandchildren from 2003 through 2008. The median gift was $3,000, and nearly 4 in 10 grandparents with a college degree were contributing to a grandchild’s education.
The beating heart at the core of all that
Do your parents have their essential legal documents updated? It’s not enough that they drew up a will or revocable living trust 10 or 20 years ago. They—and you—need to make sure that those documents are up to date. If there has been a death, divorce, or remarriage, they might inadvertently be disinheriting you.
Go to The Classroom at www.suzeorman.com :
I have written extensively in the past on the essential documents every adult must have. On my website you can find articles on why a simple will is often not nearly enough protection for you and your loved ones, and on how to put together the key essential documents: a will, a revocable living trust, and an advance directive.
Make sure, too, that your parents have an advance directive that spells out what level of medical intervention they want if they ever become too incapacitated to speak for themselves—and that they give you a copy. Without that document, adult children are exposed to unnecessary heartache, and often irreparable sibling arguments, about how to handle end-of-life decisions. The parent can make sure it never comes to that, by having this document in place.
When a Parent Remarries
We tend to think of the impact of blended families mainly in terms of small children, but the truth is, adult children need to pay attention here too. Very often when a parent remarries, he or she moves into a new home and takes ownership as joint tenant with right of survivorship (JTWROS). That means that when one co-owner dies the other inherits full control of the home. So let’s say your mom remarries and puts money down for a new home she moves into with your stepfather. He is a great guy, don’t get me wrong. But if Mom and Stepdad own the home as JTWROS, and she dies first, your stepdad has full ownership of the home, with no legal obligation to leave you any portion of the home when he passes. Mom didn’t mean to disinherit you, but it can happen nonetheless. Please understand that even if Mom’s will or trust says you are to inherit her stake, it doesn’t matter. How the home is owned—the title—overrides what is in a will or trust. What your mom and stepdad should have done is take title as Tenants-in-Common; at either’s death, their portion of the home would pass to their heirs, not the surviving spouse. (At that point the heirs could then make arrangements, if they chose, to allow the surviving spouse to remain in the home until his/her death.) In The Classroom on my website I review the various ways you can take title to property.
So while you’re having those very adult conversations with your parents, you might want to touch on the matter of how their house is owned and what they would like to happen to it in the event of their passing. And then make sure their will and trust reflect their wishes.
I recognize that these may not be the easiest of conversations to initiate, but bring the right energy to the task and I think you may be surprised by how cathartic this could be for everyone. The goal here is to establish that your parents have what they need for a comfortable and secure retirement. In my opinion, it is a great way to honor your parents—to show them they have raised responsible, thoughtful, farsighted children with their best interests at heart. What a powerful legacy that is.
LESSON 6. ADVICE FOR GRANDPARENTS: HOW TO BUILD A LASTING LEGACY
According to a recent poll by the MetLife insurance company, grandparents bestowed $370 billion in financial support on their grandchildren from 2003 through 2008. The median gift was $3,000, and nearly 4 in 10 grandparents with a college degree were contributing to a grandchild’s education.
The beating heart at the core of all that
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