haven’t changed.”
“What did he do?”
“He told my father Hope was ours, his and mine.”
“Oh, man.” Beth sank back. “I can see why you’re upset, but if you think about it, how would your father recover from hearing the truth?”
“Did Van call you?”
She shook her head with perfect innocence.
“Dad’s much better trying to put Van and me back together again.”
“Oh, no.”
“Mommy, are you broke?”
She hadn’t heard Hope come back. “I’m just fine, sweetie. Why?”
“Someone wants to put you together again, like Humpty Dumpty in my book.”
“I’m all back together.” She gathered the treasure trove of drawings Hope clutched to her chest. “I can’t wait to see these.”
“Are you sure, Mommy?” She looked Cassie over, as if she expected chunks of her to fall off. Cassie wouldn’t have been surprised. “You sounded mad.”
“I’m not mad.” Cassie took her hand and led her to the kitchen, the calmest place in her father’s home now. Thanks to Van. She couldn’t forget everything he’d done.
“But somethin’s wrong,” Hope said.
Cassie sat in a chair and pulled Hope into her lap. This was where letting Van inside her head got her.
“I was a little mad, but it doesn’t mean anything. My dad wants me to do some stuff I don’t want to.”
“Like it was your bedtime?”
“That is one of your least favorite words.” Cassie tried to smile at Beth, who followed them, obviously wondering if her brother had made her unwelcome.
“I like my bed at home, Mommy. When can we go back?”
“I’m not sure.”
“I’m betting Mommy wishes she could head straight back this second.” Beth straightened crayons and scented markers that lent the room a sticky sweet smell. “I’m sorry your grampa is sick, but I’m glad I get to keep you both with me a while.”
Cassie lifted her head. “You think I want to run away?”
“Run away, Mommy? With me, though?” Overtired and easily distressed by unfamiliar emotions in new surroundings, Hope looked wary. She half climbed off Cassie’s lap, up for an adventure, determined not to be left behind. “Where we going?”
Beth held the box of crayons close. “I didn’t mean it was a habit,” she said to Cassie.
“For five years I’ve never doubted every decision I made was for the best.” Cassie wrapped an arm around Hope, holding on for dear life. “But I should have checked things here once in a while.”
“You want honesty, Cass?” Beth set the box on the table, steeling herself to be thrown out. “What happened to you—well—” With her eyes on Hope, she broke off, but who could say anything more about that? “Your father and my brother should not have let you go, and you shouldn’t have abandoned them. You all should have taken care of each other. You should have let us care for you.”
“Beth.” Honesty hurt. “I never meant to harm anyone. I was trying to—” She struggled for the right word, looking down on Hope’s dark hair. “ S-u-r-v-i-v-e. ”
The letters hung in the air. What mother hadn’t spelled something totally serious and hurtful to spare a child? Staring at Beth—Beth staring back—the incongruity got to Cassie.
Laughter bubbled out of her, startling and clean. Beth laughed, too, and then she swept around the table. Her hug felt sweet. Because they were together and time hadn’t changed the fact that they loved each other.
Just like that, sharp and dear as her best memories, Cassie wanted Van back, too. She faced the truth. She was afraid of letting him back into her life, letting him matter.
But hadn’t she cowered enough? Hadn’t fear robbed her of five long years already?
CHAPTER SEVEN
C ASSIE AWOKE gasping the next morning. The ceiling hanging over her head, familiar and yet so unexpected, brought her immediately home.
Van. His name whispered, a memory and a reason to feel guilty. A taunt? She lifted her left hand. For a month after she’d finally relegated her
“What did he do?”
“He told my father Hope was ours, his and mine.”
“Oh, man.” Beth sank back. “I can see why you’re upset, but if you think about it, how would your father recover from hearing the truth?”
“Did Van call you?”
She shook her head with perfect innocence.
“Dad’s much better trying to put Van and me back together again.”
“Oh, no.”
“Mommy, are you broke?”
She hadn’t heard Hope come back. “I’m just fine, sweetie. Why?”
“Someone wants to put you together again, like Humpty Dumpty in my book.”
“I’m all back together.” She gathered the treasure trove of drawings Hope clutched to her chest. “I can’t wait to see these.”
“Are you sure, Mommy?” She looked Cassie over, as if she expected chunks of her to fall off. Cassie wouldn’t have been surprised. “You sounded mad.”
“I’m not mad.” Cassie took her hand and led her to the kitchen, the calmest place in her father’s home now. Thanks to Van. She couldn’t forget everything he’d done.
“But somethin’s wrong,” Hope said.
Cassie sat in a chair and pulled Hope into her lap. This was where letting Van inside her head got her.
“I was a little mad, but it doesn’t mean anything. My dad wants me to do some stuff I don’t want to.”
“Like it was your bedtime?”
“That is one of your least favorite words.” Cassie tried to smile at Beth, who followed them, obviously wondering if her brother had made her unwelcome.
“I like my bed at home, Mommy. When can we go back?”
“I’m not sure.”
“I’m betting Mommy wishes she could head straight back this second.” Beth straightened crayons and scented markers that lent the room a sticky sweet smell. “I’m sorry your grampa is sick, but I’m glad I get to keep you both with me a while.”
Cassie lifted her head. “You think I want to run away?”
“Run away, Mommy? With me, though?” Overtired and easily distressed by unfamiliar emotions in new surroundings, Hope looked wary. She half climbed off Cassie’s lap, up for an adventure, determined not to be left behind. “Where we going?”
Beth held the box of crayons close. “I didn’t mean it was a habit,” she said to Cassie.
“For five years I’ve never doubted every decision I made was for the best.” Cassie wrapped an arm around Hope, holding on for dear life. “But I should have checked things here once in a while.”
“You want honesty, Cass?” Beth set the box on the table, steeling herself to be thrown out. “What happened to you—well—” With her eyes on Hope, she broke off, but who could say anything more about that? “Your father and my brother should not have let you go, and you shouldn’t have abandoned them. You all should have taken care of each other. You should have let us care for you.”
“Beth.” Honesty hurt. “I never meant to harm anyone. I was trying to—” She struggled for the right word, looking down on Hope’s dark hair. “ S-u-r-v-i-v-e. ”
The letters hung in the air. What mother hadn’t spelled something totally serious and hurtful to spare a child? Staring at Beth—Beth staring back—the incongruity got to Cassie.
Laughter bubbled out of her, startling and clean. Beth laughed, too, and then she swept around the table. Her hug felt sweet. Because they were together and time hadn’t changed the fact that they loved each other.
Just like that, sharp and dear as her best memories, Cassie wanted Van back, too. She faced the truth. She was afraid of letting him back into her life, letting him matter.
But hadn’t she cowered enough? Hadn’t fear robbed her of five long years already?
CHAPTER SEVEN
C ASSIE AWOKE gasping the next morning. The ceiling hanging over her head, familiar and yet so unexpected, brought her immediately home.
Van. His name whispered, a memory and a reason to feel guilty. A taunt? She lifted her left hand. For a month after she’d finally relegated her
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