father was.” She rubbed at her temple where a throbbing headache had blossomed. Her weariness and disillusionment were clear in her voice but she didn’t have the strength to hide her emotions at this point. “But whether I met him or not was to be my decision. I have obligations, a job, family. I can’t just drop everything and get on a plane with you.” This conversation was going nowhere. “I have to go.”
“Of course.” But he didn’t move out of her way. “Amanda, you are an intelligent woman. You are smart enough to know the truth when you hear it.” He walked to the coffee table, picked up the manila envelope, held it out to her.
She lifted furious eyes to him, letting rage override the hurt. “I don’t want it.”
“I know you are angry with me, but you know I would not lie to you. Read it. Call me on my mobile.”
She snatched it from him. Picked up her purse. Headed for the door. “As far as I’m concerned all you’ve done is lie.”
Xavier’s hand on her arm stopped her.
She whirled on him. “Don’t touch me.”
He immediately released her and threw both hands up in the universal sign of surrender.
“I may be a fool,” she bit out, holding her purse and the envelope in front her like a shield. “But I’m not stupid. You used me. You—” Her throat closed, cutting off her words. Swallowing, taking a deep breath, she fought for control. “You stole a part of me. You lied. And you used my attraction for you to lull me along until the test results came in. You don’t get to touch me ever again.”
“I did no—” He cut himself off to stand stoically silent. The only sign of agitation was the heavy rise and fall of his chest as if he exerted great control.
What had he been going to say?
What could he say?
“Was any of it real?” She hated the plea, hated the need to validate a relationship that clearly existed only in her fantasies. Maybe she should have paid more attention to Grandmother. Because obviously she was right, Amanda was too naïve for her own good.
“Don’t answer that. Of course it wasn’t. No wonder you never made the moves on me. You weren’t attracted to me. Oh Lord, yesterday.” Anguish gripped her. “You must have felt compelled to make love to me.”
She wanted to hide in shame but forced her chin up. “I’m sorry—”
“Do not!” Fire flashed in his eyes but only for an instant before he leashed his emotions once more. “You forced nothing. My feelings toward you are of no matter.”
“It matters to me!”
“I should not have touched you. It was inappropriate and I apologize.”
Her heart broke a little more with every word he spoke.
“You forbid me from expressing sorrow for forcing you into a difficult position, but it’s okay for you to dismiss what passed between us?” Her voice shook with the power of her emotions. “I get to say what is appropriate for me. I am not a citizen of Pasadonia. You are not responsible for me.”
“I am a royal guard.” His shoulders straightened to sharp edges. “It is my duty to protect and serve the royal family. You are of royal blood. My duty is clear.”
“Duty.” More than her voice broke on the word. “My grandparents have taught me all about the warmth of duty.”
He slowly closed his eyes as if it took an effort to bank the mix of emotions that had risen to the surface. She imagined regret, sadness, anger but dismissed it as wishful thinking. Most likely it had been impatience.
“You and your prince can keep your duty.” She stepped around him, turned the door handle. “I don’t need it. Or you.”
This time he let her go.
* * *
“If you get on that plane, you are cutting all ties with your grandfather and me.” Grandmother sat ramrod straight on her cream sofa, her hands clenched in her lap.
For the second time in as many hours Amanda sat stunned by news being directed at her. She’d gone directly from her interview with Xavier to her grandparents’ home to give
“Of course.” But he didn’t move out of her way. “Amanda, you are an intelligent woman. You are smart enough to know the truth when you hear it.” He walked to the coffee table, picked up the manila envelope, held it out to her.
She lifted furious eyes to him, letting rage override the hurt. “I don’t want it.”
“I know you are angry with me, but you know I would not lie to you. Read it. Call me on my mobile.”
She snatched it from him. Picked up her purse. Headed for the door. “As far as I’m concerned all you’ve done is lie.”
Xavier’s hand on her arm stopped her.
She whirled on him. “Don’t touch me.”
He immediately released her and threw both hands up in the universal sign of surrender.
“I may be a fool,” she bit out, holding her purse and the envelope in front her like a shield. “But I’m not stupid. You used me. You—” Her throat closed, cutting off her words. Swallowing, taking a deep breath, she fought for control. “You stole a part of me. You lied. And you used my attraction for you to lull me along until the test results came in. You don’t get to touch me ever again.”
“I did no—” He cut himself off to stand stoically silent. The only sign of agitation was the heavy rise and fall of his chest as if he exerted great control.
What had he been going to say?
What could he say?
“Was any of it real?” She hated the plea, hated the need to validate a relationship that clearly existed only in her fantasies. Maybe she should have paid more attention to Grandmother. Because obviously she was right, Amanda was too naïve for her own good.
“Don’t answer that. Of course it wasn’t. No wonder you never made the moves on me. You weren’t attracted to me. Oh Lord, yesterday.” Anguish gripped her. “You must have felt compelled to make love to me.”
She wanted to hide in shame but forced her chin up. “I’m sorry—”
“Do not!” Fire flashed in his eyes but only for an instant before he leashed his emotions once more. “You forced nothing. My feelings toward you are of no matter.”
“It matters to me!”
“I should not have touched you. It was inappropriate and I apologize.”
Her heart broke a little more with every word he spoke.
“You forbid me from expressing sorrow for forcing you into a difficult position, but it’s okay for you to dismiss what passed between us?” Her voice shook with the power of her emotions. “I get to say what is appropriate for me. I am not a citizen of Pasadonia. You are not responsible for me.”
“I am a royal guard.” His shoulders straightened to sharp edges. “It is my duty to protect and serve the royal family. You are of royal blood. My duty is clear.”
“Duty.” More than her voice broke on the word. “My grandparents have taught me all about the warmth of duty.”
He slowly closed his eyes as if it took an effort to bank the mix of emotions that had risen to the surface. She imagined regret, sadness, anger but dismissed it as wishful thinking. Most likely it had been impatience.
“You and your prince can keep your duty.” She stepped around him, turned the door handle. “I don’t need it. Or you.”
This time he let her go.
* * *
“If you get on that plane, you are cutting all ties with your grandfather and me.” Grandmother sat ramrod straight on her cream sofa, her hands clenched in her lap.
For the second time in as many hours Amanda sat stunned by news being directed at her. She’d gone directly from her interview with Xavier to her grandparents’ home to give
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