looked angry for a moment, then the light bulb went on in her head. “She’s taking journalism. You think we’re living beyond our means. You think we spend too much.”
“Yes, that’s what I think. I’ll tell you more if you want to hear.”
She was quiet and took a drink. She then said, “Yes, I want to hear. I want to know what you think.”
I brought it down a notch and shifted into gentle. “Okay, let me tell you how I see it. I think you’re living like wealthy people. There’s nothing wrong with being rich, but do you know how hard it is on a man trying to maintain a high standard of living for his family? He’s always got to be working. He’s always worrying. He’s always under constant pressure, especially if his wife is a spendthrift.” Helen looked up here. “Now I’m not saying you’re totally to blame. I think you two need to revamp your lifestyles so one of you doesn’t have to be worrying about money all the time.”
Helen began to look down again, and didn’t say anything, so I decided to continue.
“You live in a high-dollar mansion in the super-nice part of town, when a regular ‘A-Frame’ two-story would probably do for your family just as well.”
Helen looked up and asked, “What do you want us to do, live in the slums?”
“No, nobody said you had to live in a slum. I’m just looking for solutions to a problem, which I think is destroying your relationship with your husband. Franklin is obviously a part of the problem as well. He may have placed himself in this situation; some of the expenses you’ve incurred may be his fault.”
Helen calmed down, just a bit. Then I went in to follow up. “Are you and Franklin in debt?”
She looked up. “We have bills.”
“That’s not what I asked. We all have bills. I asked if you were in debt.”
Helen looked exasperated. She shut her eyes and said, “Yes, we owe on everything. We owe on the house, we owe on the cars, we owe the college, we owe the private schools. We don’t have any money except for what Franklin earns. If he died tomorrow, the kids and I would be broke and have to give up everything. No college, no schools, no house, no country club.”
“That country club doesn’t quite sound like a necessity,” I said, hoping she’d get a little riled.
“Randall, you just don’t know how it is. Doctors who work for hospitals have to keep up professional appearances. They and their family members have to have the expensive cars; people expect us to look intelligent and successful. We mix with a group who are well off, we have friends who send their kids to school with our kids. It’s a different society altogether. It’s not like the way you and I were raised.”
I looked at Helen, studying her over. “What’s wrong with the way we were raised? Weren’t you happy growing up? You certainly looked happy. The Ceraldi family was an on-going adventure; whenever I came over, your family welcomed me with open arms and lifted my spirits, and there was plenty of food and clothes and love there. I even learned how to speak-a the Italiano.”
Helen looked at me with disbelief. “Poco-poco,” I said, correcting myself.
Helen smiled at the memories. I continued, “You had six brothers and sisters, all living in a house that your father and uncles built with their own hands. You didn’t have a lot of luxuries, but neither did anybody else on the southside. You had a household filled with love, which was more than most.”
Helen’s smile faded. “Yes, and you know that Dad and my uncles only built one bathroom for the nine of us? Do you know what that’s like? We have five minutes, five minutes , in the bathroom, and three on school days! We had to get up early to get a place in line, and if we missed our chance we had to use the kitchen sink to wash up or even the garden hose in the backyard!”
“Well, I’ve done that!” I said. “I’m sure we’ve all done that at one time or other, when the plumbing
“Yes, that’s what I think. I’ll tell you more if you want to hear.”
She was quiet and took a drink. She then said, “Yes, I want to hear. I want to know what you think.”
I brought it down a notch and shifted into gentle. “Okay, let me tell you how I see it. I think you’re living like wealthy people. There’s nothing wrong with being rich, but do you know how hard it is on a man trying to maintain a high standard of living for his family? He’s always got to be working. He’s always worrying. He’s always under constant pressure, especially if his wife is a spendthrift.” Helen looked up here. “Now I’m not saying you’re totally to blame. I think you two need to revamp your lifestyles so one of you doesn’t have to be worrying about money all the time.”
Helen began to look down again, and didn’t say anything, so I decided to continue.
“You live in a high-dollar mansion in the super-nice part of town, when a regular ‘A-Frame’ two-story would probably do for your family just as well.”
Helen looked up and asked, “What do you want us to do, live in the slums?”
“No, nobody said you had to live in a slum. I’m just looking for solutions to a problem, which I think is destroying your relationship with your husband. Franklin is obviously a part of the problem as well. He may have placed himself in this situation; some of the expenses you’ve incurred may be his fault.”
Helen calmed down, just a bit. Then I went in to follow up. “Are you and Franklin in debt?”
She looked up. “We have bills.”
“That’s not what I asked. We all have bills. I asked if you were in debt.”
Helen looked exasperated. She shut her eyes and said, “Yes, we owe on everything. We owe on the house, we owe on the cars, we owe the college, we owe the private schools. We don’t have any money except for what Franklin earns. If he died tomorrow, the kids and I would be broke and have to give up everything. No college, no schools, no house, no country club.”
“That country club doesn’t quite sound like a necessity,” I said, hoping she’d get a little riled.
“Randall, you just don’t know how it is. Doctors who work for hospitals have to keep up professional appearances. They and their family members have to have the expensive cars; people expect us to look intelligent and successful. We mix with a group who are well off, we have friends who send their kids to school with our kids. It’s a different society altogether. It’s not like the way you and I were raised.”
I looked at Helen, studying her over. “What’s wrong with the way we were raised? Weren’t you happy growing up? You certainly looked happy. The Ceraldi family was an on-going adventure; whenever I came over, your family welcomed me with open arms and lifted my spirits, and there was plenty of food and clothes and love there. I even learned how to speak-a the Italiano.”
Helen looked at me with disbelief. “Poco-poco,” I said, correcting myself.
Helen smiled at the memories. I continued, “You had six brothers and sisters, all living in a house that your father and uncles built with their own hands. You didn’t have a lot of luxuries, but neither did anybody else on the southside. You had a household filled with love, which was more than most.”
Helen’s smile faded. “Yes, and you know that Dad and my uncles only built one bathroom for the nine of us? Do you know what that’s like? We have five minutes, five minutes , in the bathroom, and three on school days! We had to get up early to get a place in line, and if we missed our chance we had to use the kitchen sink to wash up or even the garden hose in the backyard!”
“Well, I’ve done that!” I said. “I’m sure we’ve all done that at one time or other, when the plumbing
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