Franklin loves me, but the communication is just not there. He’s so hurried; he’s tired all the time. He doesn’t take time to relax anymore. I don’t feel the same way about him as I did when we first got married.”
“You did have quite a whirlwind romance. You must have been swept off your feet, falling head over heels in love with him. He had charm, charisma, good looks, and could make a girl feel desired. Yes, these are all the qualities of a suitor,” I said, trying not to sound too bitter, and hoping I wouldn’t get angry. “However, from another perspective, people change over the years. That’s no reason to say ‘I don’t love you anymore’ and end a marriage. And who says a marriage can’t survive without love, or even the feelings of love?”
“What you’re saying is a hard concept; I think that marriages work better if love is involved,” said Helen.
I answered, “Yes, I’m sure that’s true, but look at it this way: Franklin has already won you. He doesn’t have to act as though he’s trying to win the prize anymore. Did you expect him to keep up the act?”
Helen’s eyes flashed. “I want him to treat me as though he loves me, and show me some attention.”
It was time to talk hard facts to Helen. “Look at your life. You have four kids. You drive a red convertible. You don’t have to work. You’re living the high-end version of the American dream; what else do you need?”
“I need a loyal husband who will add some stability to the home,” she replied. “And I did work while he was in medical school!”
“Well said. He owes you for medical school. Does he currently have a wife who adds stability to the home and who shows him love and respect?”
“What do you mean?” she asked, getting defensive.
“What gave you the impression I didn’t respect him?”
It was time to dig in. “I mean, why are you driving a red convertible at your age? That’s a car for sixteen-year-old-girls who want to be seen and to go parties and to the prom. You should be driving a family van that costs a fraction of a sports car.”
Helen’s mouth dropped open.
I continued. “You don’t work now. Franklin does. I’m not saying being a wife and mother isn’t work, but I imagine you’ve got plenty of help, with cooks and maids and probably sitters or nursemaids. You dress to the nines, even right now.” I gestured my hand up and down Helen’s outfit, as if she couldn’t see it herself. “You look like you’re dressed to kill. I’ve got a question for you: Do all of your children attend private schools?”
Helen was still shocked. So I continued talking.
“I thought so.” Actually, I knew so. “Since you’re at home anyway, why don’t you home school them? Teach them everything you know, then turn them over to the school systems. As I recall, you were a pretty good student. You’re probably brighter than most teachers.”
Helen looked betrayed. “Why are you saying all this, Randall? Whose side are you on?”
“I’m not on anybody’s side, except for Mr. Truth. I’m saying all of this because I think I’m aware of a problem your marriage is having. Franklin is tired of working. He’s probably working his tail off, but he’s not getting ahead. You live on a high level, as though you’re rich and will never go broke. What happens if Franklin dies? Do you have any money stashed away? Do you have a 401K plan, or in your case, a 401M plan? Have you made provisions for the future?”
Helen looked down. “No, not really. We had some investments, but they all went bust in the stock market. We’re trying to make our mortgages and hope to pay off our house one day.”
“Where is Mindy going to college? Nearby, or out-of-state?” I asked.
“She’s attending an Ivy League school up north…” said Helen, answering a question to which I already knew the answer.
I pressed on. “What’s she going to learn there… psychology, sociology, fine arts?”
Now Helen
“You did have quite a whirlwind romance. You must have been swept off your feet, falling head over heels in love with him. He had charm, charisma, good looks, and could make a girl feel desired. Yes, these are all the qualities of a suitor,” I said, trying not to sound too bitter, and hoping I wouldn’t get angry. “However, from another perspective, people change over the years. That’s no reason to say ‘I don’t love you anymore’ and end a marriage. And who says a marriage can’t survive without love, or even the feelings of love?”
“What you’re saying is a hard concept; I think that marriages work better if love is involved,” said Helen.
I answered, “Yes, I’m sure that’s true, but look at it this way: Franklin has already won you. He doesn’t have to act as though he’s trying to win the prize anymore. Did you expect him to keep up the act?”
Helen’s eyes flashed. “I want him to treat me as though he loves me, and show me some attention.”
It was time to talk hard facts to Helen. “Look at your life. You have four kids. You drive a red convertible. You don’t have to work. You’re living the high-end version of the American dream; what else do you need?”
“I need a loyal husband who will add some stability to the home,” she replied. “And I did work while he was in medical school!”
“Well said. He owes you for medical school. Does he currently have a wife who adds stability to the home and who shows him love and respect?”
“What do you mean?” she asked, getting defensive.
“What gave you the impression I didn’t respect him?”
It was time to dig in. “I mean, why are you driving a red convertible at your age? That’s a car for sixteen-year-old-girls who want to be seen and to go parties and to the prom. You should be driving a family van that costs a fraction of a sports car.”
Helen’s mouth dropped open.
I continued. “You don’t work now. Franklin does. I’m not saying being a wife and mother isn’t work, but I imagine you’ve got plenty of help, with cooks and maids and probably sitters or nursemaids. You dress to the nines, even right now.” I gestured my hand up and down Helen’s outfit, as if she couldn’t see it herself. “You look like you’re dressed to kill. I’ve got a question for you: Do all of your children attend private schools?”
Helen was still shocked. So I continued talking.
“I thought so.” Actually, I knew so. “Since you’re at home anyway, why don’t you home school them? Teach them everything you know, then turn them over to the school systems. As I recall, you were a pretty good student. You’re probably brighter than most teachers.”
Helen looked betrayed. “Why are you saying all this, Randall? Whose side are you on?”
“I’m not on anybody’s side, except for Mr. Truth. I’m saying all of this because I think I’m aware of a problem your marriage is having. Franklin is tired of working. He’s probably working his tail off, but he’s not getting ahead. You live on a high level, as though you’re rich and will never go broke. What happens if Franklin dies? Do you have any money stashed away? Do you have a 401K plan, or in your case, a 401M plan? Have you made provisions for the future?”
Helen looked down. “No, not really. We had some investments, but they all went bust in the stock market. We’re trying to make our mortgages and hope to pay off our house one day.”
“Where is Mindy going to college? Nearby, or out-of-state?” I asked.
“She’s attending an Ivy League school up north…” said Helen, answering a question to which I already knew the answer.
I pressed on. “What’s she going to learn there… psychology, sociology, fine arts?”
Now Helen
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