the neighborhood right next to ours.
20
The Whirley Street kids made monkey noises when they passed us, which was really annoying because that's exactly what WE used to do when we passed THEM.
[Image: The bus rushes past as the boys keep standing.] The caption reads: "OOH OOH!
EEE EEE!
PANT PANT"
I'll tell you one reason it's a bad idea to make kids walk to school. These days, teachers give you so much homework that, with all the books and papers you have to carry home, your backpack ends up weighing like a hundred pounds.
And if you want to see what kind of an effect that has on kids over time, all you have to do is look at Rodrick and some of his friends.
21
[Image: Three boys near a wall.]
Speaking of teenagers, Dad scored a pretty big victory today. The baddest teenager in our neighborhood is this kid named Lenwood Heath, and he's kind of like Dad's archenemy. Dad has probably called the cops on Lenwood Heath about fifty times.
[Image: A girl skates and spills a dustbin and a man is standing at the door.]
The caption reads: "DAG NAB YOU ROTTEN TEENAGERS!
CLANG"
I guess Lenwood's parents got sick of his act, because they sent him off to military academy.
22
You'd think that would've made Dad pretty happy, but I don't think he'll be satisfied until every teenager on the planet gets sent off to juvenile hall or Alcatraz or something. And that includes Rodrick.
Yesterday Mom and Dad gave Rodrick some money to buy books so he could study for the SATs, but Rodrick spent the money on a tattoo instead.
[Image: A boy talking to a man and a lady.]
The caption reads: "
LÖDED DIPER"
I've still got a little time before I turn into a teenager. But the minute I do, I guarantee you Dad will be looking for the first chance to ship me out.
Monday
For the past week or so, Manny has been getting out of bed every night and coming downstairs.
23
[Image: A little boy talks to the two sitting on the sofa.]
Instead of putting him right back to bed, Mom lets Manny sit with us and watch TV.
It's really not fair, because when Manny is with us, I'm not allowed to watch any of the shows I like.
All I can say is, when I was a kid there wasn't any of this "getting out of bed" stuff. I did it once or twice, but Dad put a stop to it real quick.
There was this book Dad used to read to me every night called "The Giving Tree." It was a really good book, but the back of it had a picture of the author, this guy named Shel Silverstein.
24
But Shel Silverstein looks more like a burglar or a pirate than a guy who should be writing books for kids.
[Image: Picture of a man on the cover of a book.] The caption reads: "THE GIVING TREE"
Dad must have known that picture kind of freaked me out, because one night after I got out of bed, Dad said-
[Image: A boy is talking to the one in bed.] The caption reads: "IF YOU GET OUT OF BED AGAIN TONIGHT, YOU'LL PROBABLY RUN INTO SHEL SILVERSTEIN IN THE HALLWAY."
25
That really did the trick, Ever since then, I STILL don't get out of bed at night, even if I really need to use the bathroom.
I don't think Mom and Dad read Manny any Shel Silverstein books, which probably explains why he keeps getting up after they put him to bed.
I've heard some of the stories Mom and Dad read to Manny, and let me just say that the people who write these books really have a racket going.
First of all, there are hardly any words in them, so I'm sure it only takes about five seconds to write one.
[Image: A lady reading to the little one in bed.] The caption reads: "SILLY BEAR YAWNING, SILLY BEAR SAD.
SILLY BEAR SLEEPING, SILLY BEAR GLAD!
THE END.
"
26
I told Mom what I thought of Manny's books, and she said that if they were so easy to write, then I should try writing one myself.
So that's exactly what I did. Trust me, it wasn't hard, either. All you have to do is make up a character with a snappy name, and then make sure the character learns a lesson at the end of the book.
Now all I need to do is
20
The Whirley Street kids made monkey noises when they passed us, which was really annoying because that's exactly what WE used to do when we passed THEM.
[Image: The bus rushes past as the boys keep standing.] The caption reads: "OOH OOH!
EEE EEE!
PANT PANT"
I'll tell you one reason it's a bad idea to make kids walk to school. These days, teachers give you so much homework that, with all the books and papers you have to carry home, your backpack ends up weighing like a hundred pounds.
And if you want to see what kind of an effect that has on kids over time, all you have to do is look at Rodrick and some of his friends.
21
[Image: Three boys near a wall.]
Speaking of teenagers, Dad scored a pretty big victory today. The baddest teenager in our neighborhood is this kid named Lenwood Heath, and he's kind of like Dad's archenemy. Dad has probably called the cops on Lenwood Heath about fifty times.
[Image: A girl skates and spills a dustbin and a man is standing at the door.]
The caption reads: "DAG NAB YOU ROTTEN TEENAGERS!
CLANG"
I guess Lenwood's parents got sick of his act, because they sent him off to military academy.
22
You'd think that would've made Dad pretty happy, but I don't think he'll be satisfied until every teenager on the planet gets sent off to juvenile hall or Alcatraz or something. And that includes Rodrick.
Yesterday Mom and Dad gave Rodrick some money to buy books so he could study for the SATs, but Rodrick spent the money on a tattoo instead.
[Image: A boy talking to a man and a lady.]
The caption reads: "
LÖDED DIPER"
I've still got a little time before I turn into a teenager. But the minute I do, I guarantee you Dad will be looking for the first chance to ship me out.
Monday
For the past week or so, Manny has been getting out of bed every night and coming downstairs.
23
[Image: A little boy talks to the two sitting on the sofa.]
Instead of putting him right back to bed, Mom lets Manny sit with us and watch TV.
It's really not fair, because when Manny is with us, I'm not allowed to watch any of the shows I like.
All I can say is, when I was a kid there wasn't any of this "getting out of bed" stuff. I did it once or twice, but Dad put a stop to it real quick.
There was this book Dad used to read to me every night called "The Giving Tree." It was a really good book, but the back of it had a picture of the author, this guy named Shel Silverstein.
24
But Shel Silverstein looks more like a burglar or a pirate than a guy who should be writing books for kids.
[Image: Picture of a man on the cover of a book.] The caption reads: "THE GIVING TREE"
Dad must have known that picture kind of freaked me out, because one night after I got out of bed, Dad said-
[Image: A boy is talking to the one in bed.] The caption reads: "IF YOU GET OUT OF BED AGAIN TONIGHT, YOU'LL PROBABLY RUN INTO SHEL SILVERSTEIN IN THE HALLWAY."
25
That really did the trick, Ever since then, I STILL don't get out of bed at night, even if I really need to use the bathroom.
I don't think Mom and Dad read Manny any Shel Silverstein books, which probably explains why he keeps getting up after they put him to bed.
I've heard some of the stories Mom and Dad read to Manny, and let me just say that the people who write these books really have a racket going.
First of all, there are hardly any words in them, so I'm sure it only takes about five seconds to write one.
[Image: A lady reading to the little one in bed.] The caption reads: "SILLY BEAR YAWNING, SILLY BEAR SAD.
SILLY BEAR SLEEPING, SILLY BEAR GLAD!
THE END.
"
26
I told Mom what I thought of Manny's books, and she said that if they were so easy to write, then I should try writing one myself.
So that's exactly what I did. Trust me, it wasn't hard, either. All you have to do is make up a character with a snappy name, and then make sure the character learns a lesson at the end of the book.
Now all I need to do is
Similar Books
