thought. It was a steep punishment. It meant no television, no dessert, no parks or movies on the weekends, and plenty of extra chores. Still, given the alternative, forty points was the same as being lashed with a feather!
"But Lucy," he said in a low voice that reminded me of Darth Vader. "That's two strikes. Three strikes, you're out."
I nodded as earnestly as I knew how. "I know! I won't screw up again. I promise."
"And there's still one more thing," he said.
"Yeah?"
He watched me a second, like he was enjoying the sight of me nervous again. Then he reached down into his briefcase and lifted up a small, clear plastic cup with a lid. It was a urine cup for drug testing. You were supposed to fill it with pee, and they could do tests on it that told them if you'd been taking drugs.
"There'll be random urine tests," he said. "Starting today. And if we find that you're taking
Oxies or any other drug, you'll be out of this house within twenty-four hours, even if I have to bring a bed over to Rabbit Island myself.
• • •
That afternoon, during detention, I walked into the school courtyard and found Garbage Nirvana. Someone had knocked over a garbage can, and the wind had blown trash everywhere. But Nate had found it first and was already busy picking it up.
He hadn't seen me yet, so I walked closer. "Hey," I said. It was the first time I'd spoken to him since that day in the hallway with his friends. But I'd been meaning to talk to him all week.
He looked over at me, but didn't say a word. Then he turned away and started picking up trash again.
"Mind if I share?" I said. I knew he knew I meant the garbage. There was plenty for both of us.
"Yeah," he said. "I mind." He kept working, and I noticed he made a point of facing away from me.
"Can I talk to you a second?"
He ignored me, reaching down for a Doritos bag and some wadded notebook papers. He left the scattered french fries for the birds.
"Are you listening to me?" I said.
"No," he said, which was obviously kind of a lie.
I came around to face him. He was still crouching. "Come on," I said. "Please?"
He stood up suddenly. "What is your deal anyway?" The black ice was back in his eyes.
"Huh?" I said, taken a little aback.
"I thought we were cool!"
"We are," I said. "We are cool."
"So why'd you dog me?"
"I'm sorry if I embarrassed you in front of your friends." I didn't mean for this to sound snotty, but I guess it did.
"I don't give a damn about my friends! I'm just confused! I thought it was so cool you gave me that Happy Meal box, even after all the things I said to you. That took guts. Hell, so did hitting me in class. And then we talked, and I saw you were smart and funny and easy to talk to. And when we saw that crow die, you looked so sad. It made you seem different from the other idiots at this school--different from the other groupies too. I even thought I kind of liked you! I thought you liked me too."
He kind of liked me? Did that mean what I thought it did? But what I said was, "What? I was going to be your walk on the wild side?"
Nate sighed. "Forget it. I was wrong, okay? Boy, was I wrong! You're not who I thought you were." He stared at me a second longer, then shook his head. "I'm not even sure there's anybody home at all." He turned and started walking away. I guess he didn't care about the garbage anymore.
I watched him go. This hadn't turned out like I'd wanted at all. I'd wanted to apologize to him, but everything had come out bad. That's when I remembered what Leon had said about me trying to push people away. And that's when I realized he was right. Nate wasn't Ice. I was. Even now, I was doing my very best to freeze Nate out, just like I froze everyone out. I'd probably only made friends with Yolanda because she reminded me of my sister.
"Wait!" I said to Nate.
He stopped, but didn't turn.
"There
"But Lucy," he said in a low voice that reminded me of Darth Vader. "That's two strikes. Three strikes, you're out."
I nodded as earnestly as I knew how. "I know! I won't screw up again. I promise."
"And there's still one more thing," he said.
"Yeah?"
He watched me a second, like he was enjoying the sight of me nervous again. Then he reached down into his briefcase and lifted up a small, clear plastic cup with a lid. It was a urine cup for drug testing. You were supposed to fill it with pee, and they could do tests on it that told them if you'd been taking drugs.
"There'll be random urine tests," he said. "Starting today. And if we find that you're taking
Oxies or any other drug, you'll be out of this house within twenty-four hours, even if I have to bring a bed over to Rabbit Island myself.
• • •
That afternoon, during detention, I walked into the school courtyard and found Garbage Nirvana. Someone had knocked over a garbage can, and the wind had blown trash everywhere. But Nate had found it first and was already busy picking it up.
He hadn't seen me yet, so I walked closer. "Hey," I said. It was the first time I'd spoken to him since that day in the hallway with his friends. But I'd been meaning to talk to him all week.
He looked over at me, but didn't say a word. Then he turned away and started picking up trash again.
"Mind if I share?" I said. I knew he knew I meant the garbage. There was plenty for both of us.
"Yeah," he said. "I mind." He kept working, and I noticed he made a point of facing away from me.
"Can I talk to you a second?"
He ignored me, reaching down for a Doritos bag and some wadded notebook papers. He left the scattered french fries for the birds.
"Are you listening to me?" I said.
"No," he said, which was obviously kind of a lie.
I came around to face him. He was still crouching. "Come on," I said. "Please?"
He stood up suddenly. "What is your deal anyway?" The black ice was back in his eyes.
"Huh?" I said, taken a little aback.
"I thought we were cool!"
"We are," I said. "We are cool."
"So why'd you dog me?"
"I'm sorry if I embarrassed you in front of your friends." I didn't mean for this to sound snotty, but I guess it did.
"I don't give a damn about my friends! I'm just confused! I thought it was so cool you gave me that Happy Meal box, even after all the things I said to you. That took guts. Hell, so did hitting me in class. And then we talked, and I saw you were smart and funny and easy to talk to. And when we saw that crow die, you looked so sad. It made you seem different from the other idiots at this school--different from the other groupies too. I even thought I kind of liked you! I thought you liked me too."
He kind of liked me? Did that mean what I thought it did? But what I said was, "What? I was going to be your walk on the wild side?"
Nate sighed. "Forget it. I was wrong, okay? Boy, was I wrong! You're not who I thought you were." He stared at me a second longer, then shook his head. "I'm not even sure there's anybody home at all." He turned and started walking away. I guess he didn't care about the garbage anymore.
I watched him go. This hadn't turned out like I'd wanted at all. I'd wanted to apologize to him, but everything had come out bad. That's when I remembered what Leon had said about me trying to push people away. And that's when I realized he was right. Nate wasn't Ice. I was. Even now, I was doing my very best to freeze Nate out, just like I froze everyone out. I'd probably only made friends with Yolanda because she reminded me of my sister.
"Wait!" I said to Nate.
He stopped, but didn't turn.
"There
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