should I know? The past two, three months I’ve been building a relationship with this Ted Peterson guy in their media sales department, we shake hands yesterday on this six-page insert for April, I’m heading north to Stamford on 1-95 this morning, paperwork in my bag for Peterson to sign, somewhere near Rye he calls me: “Listen, sorry, but we’ve changed marketing strategies for late winter. So, no sale right now.” Nearly ran my car off the road.”
“And that was it?”
“
“Course it wasn’t it, Ned. I mean, it’s my balls on the chopping block here. I’ve invested three months romancing the cocksucker, WE HAD FUCKING CLOSED YESTERDAY … so do you really, really think I was just gonna go, “Oh, hey, that’s kind of disappointing … but into every life a little rain must fall?”
” He was yelling. I held both hands up.
“Ivan. Chill. I am not angry.” (Lie.) “I am not upset.” (Bigger lie.) “I just need to know the facts.”
“Sorry, sorry… I’m really adrift here, Ned. It’s just, like, with what’s been going on, this bad news was …”
“I hear you.” And I did. His kid. His marriage. His professional worth. Loss. Loss. And more loss. But though one side of my brain was sympathizing with his fragile state, the other sector was sending out red alert signals. Because, with the GBS multipage insert suddenly gone, there were now six empty pages in the April issue (due to go to press this Friday). And six blank pages meant $210,000 in lost advertising revenue. Talk about handing our heads to Kiang-Sanderling on a platter. If they were looking for a way to ease a bunch of us out, this would give them the perfect excuse.
“What price was GBS paying for the multipage insert?” I asked.
“One-eighty-nine. The standard ten percent discount.”
“Did he give you any hint about a possible budget squeeze? Or maybe one of the competition edging us out?”
“Ned, like I told you, he just said ‘no dice’ and hung up. I tried to call him back, I don’t know, five, six times in the next hour. Driving back into the city, I must’ve called him every ten miles. The asshole was always ‘in a meeting.”” “Okay, look, it’s a setback…”
“It’s a fucking car crash, Ned. You know it, I know it….”
I put a finger to my lips.
“It’s a situation. And we’ve got to deal with it-but in a way that won’t have everyone in the company talking. Word gets out about this, and the situation turns into a critical situation-something we definitely don’t want with new management looking over our shoulder. So the thing to do at the moment is examine our options here. You got anything else on the go?”
“I don’t know… NMI was talking about a possible double-page spread for their Powerplan Desktop series in May.”
“Can you talk them into jumping forward a month?”
“Worth a shot.”
“Then do it now. Offer ‘em twenty percent off, and tell ‘em that the four-color bleeds are on the house. Meanwhile, I’m sure we can get the Telesales girls to cover the other four pages.”
“It’s gonna look like crap, though-a lot of shitty eighth-of-a-pagers in a prime location. And everyone’s going to know it was my space..
..”
“Ivan, the bottom line here is: If the pages are paid for, everybody’s happy.”
“It won’t happen again, Ned. You’ve got my word….”
“It’s a bad hand, Ivan. The jerk dealt from the bottom of the deck. Don’t blame yourself.”
“Easier said-” “You still going for your sessions with the counselor… what’s-her-name?”
“Dr. Goldfarb. I stopped two weeks ago.”
“She no good?”
“She was great. Really helpful. But the company health plan only covered a year… .”
“I’ll make a few phone calls to Blue Cross, see what I can do.”
“Thanks. I owe you.”
He stood up, rubbing his eyes with his sleeve.
“You sure you’re gonna be okay?” I asked.
“Not if I keep blowing
“And that was it?”
“
“Course it wasn’t it, Ned. I mean, it’s my balls on the chopping block here. I’ve invested three months romancing the cocksucker, WE HAD FUCKING CLOSED YESTERDAY … so do you really, really think I was just gonna go, “Oh, hey, that’s kind of disappointing … but into every life a little rain must fall?”
” He was yelling. I held both hands up.
“Ivan. Chill. I am not angry.” (Lie.) “I am not upset.” (Bigger lie.) “I just need to know the facts.”
“Sorry, sorry… I’m really adrift here, Ned. It’s just, like, with what’s been going on, this bad news was …”
“I hear you.” And I did. His kid. His marriage. His professional worth. Loss. Loss. And more loss. But though one side of my brain was sympathizing with his fragile state, the other sector was sending out red alert signals. Because, with the GBS multipage insert suddenly gone, there were now six empty pages in the April issue (due to go to press this Friday). And six blank pages meant $210,000 in lost advertising revenue. Talk about handing our heads to Kiang-Sanderling on a platter. If they were looking for a way to ease a bunch of us out, this would give them the perfect excuse.
“What price was GBS paying for the multipage insert?” I asked.
“One-eighty-nine. The standard ten percent discount.”
“Did he give you any hint about a possible budget squeeze? Or maybe one of the competition edging us out?”
“Ned, like I told you, he just said ‘no dice’ and hung up. I tried to call him back, I don’t know, five, six times in the next hour. Driving back into the city, I must’ve called him every ten miles. The asshole was always ‘in a meeting.”” “Okay, look, it’s a setback…”
“It’s a fucking car crash, Ned. You know it, I know it….”
I put a finger to my lips.
“It’s a situation. And we’ve got to deal with it-but in a way that won’t have everyone in the company talking. Word gets out about this, and the situation turns into a critical situation-something we definitely don’t want with new management looking over our shoulder. So the thing to do at the moment is examine our options here. You got anything else on the go?”
“I don’t know… NMI was talking about a possible double-page spread for their Powerplan Desktop series in May.”
“Can you talk them into jumping forward a month?”
“Worth a shot.”
“Then do it now. Offer ‘em twenty percent off, and tell ‘em that the four-color bleeds are on the house. Meanwhile, I’m sure we can get the Telesales girls to cover the other four pages.”
“It’s gonna look like crap, though-a lot of shitty eighth-of-a-pagers in a prime location. And everyone’s going to know it was my space..
..”
“Ivan, the bottom line here is: If the pages are paid for, everybody’s happy.”
“It won’t happen again, Ned. You’ve got my word….”
“It’s a bad hand, Ivan. The jerk dealt from the bottom of the deck. Don’t blame yourself.”
“Easier said-” “You still going for your sessions with the counselor… what’s-her-name?”
“Dr. Goldfarb. I stopped two weeks ago.”
“She no good?”
“She was great. Really helpful. But the company health plan only covered a year… .”
“I’ll make a few phone calls to Blue Cross, see what I can do.”
“Thanks. I owe you.”
He stood up, rubbing his eyes with his sleeve.
“You sure you’re gonna be okay?” I asked.
“Not if I keep blowing
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