the European continent was embroiled in the Napoleonic wars at the time, newlyweds generally limited travel to Scotland, Ireland, Wales, the Lake Country, the Peak District, and the seaside. It was also common to visit the estates of various relatives so the new family member could be properly introduced and feted. Couples were often accompanied on their journey by a single sister or friend to keep the bride company on shopping trips and other purely feminine pursuits.
HOW TO ELOPE TO SCOTLAND
I am going to Gretna Green, and if you cannot guess with who, I shall think you a simpleton, for there is but one man in the world I love, and he is an angel. I should never be happy without him, so think it no harm to be off. You need not send them word at Longbourn of my going, if you do not like it, for it will make the surprise the greater when I write to them and sign my name Lydia Wickham. What a good joke it will be! I can hardly write for laughing
. — LETTER FROM L YDIA B ENNET ( NOT YET W ICKHAM ) IN
P RIDE AND P REJUDICE
He is in a hurry to marry, and you not any less so, and no doubt your mother will approve—after all, she has been pestering you to get married since you came out, and she will help bring your father around. Do not wait for the banns to be cried or go to the expense of procuring a special license. Just make a run for the border—of Scotland, that is, where the marriage laws are lenient and you can do away with the formalities of preparing for the ceremony.
1. Tell no one. Do not disclose your secret to your maid, your sisters, or even your most particular friends—they no doubt will carry a tale to your parents. Even if they keep your secret, having concealed it might get them in trouble after you reveal your new situation.
2. Arrange transportation. If he tries to make you elope on the stage or the mail coach, you might want to rethink the whole idea. After all, if he’s too cheap or broke to hire a chaise for your wedding transportation, he will not make much of a husband.
3. Write a note explaining everything. Once your parents understand that your darling truly loves you, they will accept the inevitable and prepare to receive their new son. Hide the note well enough that, by the time it is found, you will have a head start if they take a notion to try to prevent the wedding.
4. Pack light and travel fast. If your parents do follow you, it is best to move as quickly as possible and get it over with before they can interfere. You will not be gone long; you do not need a lot of luggage.
5. Do not annoy your fiancé during the trip. If you ask him stupid questions such as, “Darling, would you still love me if I did not have a fortune of fifty thousand pounds?” you may not like the answer that you receive.
6. Travel straight through to Gretna Green. This is the best place to go, as the town is accustomed to situations such as yours. Do not stay over anywhere on your way north; you do not want unkind gossip about how you were “living together” before your marriage.
7. Find the blacksmith’s shop. The blacksmith in Gretna Green will have performed many marriage ceremonies; for a fee, he will arrange for witnesses and anything else you might need.
8. Have a contingency plan. You can depend upon the professionals at Gretna Green; they will provide you with a bed if your parents arrive before the ceremony is complete. Get into the bed with your husband—if your father thinks you are already married and it is too late, he will go away, and you can finish the ceremony.
9. Take care of the paperwork. Get the marriage certificate and keep it so you’ll have proof that the marriage actually took place.
10. Go home in triumph. You have his ring on your finger, and nothing else matters! Be sure to show it off to your neighbors and anyone of your acquaintance that you meet along the way. If they gossip about the disgraceful nature of your marriage, they are just jealous
HOW TO ELOPE TO SCOTLAND
I am going to Gretna Green, and if you cannot guess with who, I shall think you a simpleton, for there is but one man in the world I love, and he is an angel. I should never be happy without him, so think it no harm to be off. You need not send them word at Longbourn of my going, if you do not like it, for it will make the surprise the greater when I write to them and sign my name Lydia Wickham. What a good joke it will be! I can hardly write for laughing
. — LETTER FROM L YDIA B ENNET ( NOT YET W ICKHAM ) IN
P RIDE AND P REJUDICE
He is in a hurry to marry, and you not any less so, and no doubt your mother will approve—after all, she has been pestering you to get married since you came out, and she will help bring your father around. Do not wait for the banns to be cried or go to the expense of procuring a special license. Just make a run for the border—of Scotland, that is, where the marriage laws are lenient and you can do away with the formalities of preparing for the ceremony.
1. Tell no one. Do not disclose your secret to your maid, your sisters, or even your most particular friends—they no doubt will carry a tale to your parents. Even if they keep your secret, having concealed it might get them in trouble after you reveal your new situation.
2. Arrange transportation. If he tries to make you elope on the stage or the mail coach, you might want to rethink the whole idea. After all, if he’s too cheap or broke to hire a chaise for your wedding transportation, he will not make much of a husband.
3. Write a note explaining everything. Once your parents understand that your darling truly loves you, they will accept the inevitable and prepare to receive their new son. Hide the note well enough that, by the time it is found, you will have a head start if they take a notion to try to prevent the wedding.
4. Pack light and travel fast. If your parents do follow you, it is best to move as quickly as possible and get it over with before they can interfere. You will not be gone long; you do not need a lot of luggage.
5. Do not annoy your fiancé during the trip. If you ask him stupid questions such as, “Darling, would you still love me if I did not have a fortune of fifty thousand pounds?” you may not like the answer that you receive.
6. Travel straight through to Gretna Green. This is the best place to go, as the town is accustomed to situations such as yours. Do not stay over anywhere on your way north; you do not want unkind gossip about how you were “living together” before your marriage.
7. Find the blacksmith’s shop. The blacksmith in Gretna Green will have performed many marriage ceremonies; for a fee, he will arrange for witnesses and anything else you might need.
8. Have a contingency plan. You can depend upon the professionals at Gretna Green; they will provide you with a bed if your parents arrive before the ceremony is complete. Get into the bed with your husband—if your father thinks you are already married and it is too late, he will go away, and you can finish the ceremony.
9. Take care of the paperwork. Get the marriage certificate and keep it so you’ll have proof that the marriage actually took place.
10. Go home in triumph. You have his ring on your finger, and nothing else matters! Be sure to show it off to your neighbors and anyone of your acquaintance that you meet along the way. If they gossip about the disgraceful nature of your marriage, they are just jealous
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