of your particular friends, bring along your workbag. An hour or two of chatter and fancy work is a very pleasant way to spend an afternoon. Do not initiate such activity if you are not well-acquainted with the person, but if she pulls out her work, feel free to bring out your own. Your respective projects might be a good subject to bond over.
• Stay for the proper time . A formal morning call lasts from a quarter of an hour to half an hour. You may stay longer if you are particular friends with the person upon whom you are calling.
• Prepare to receive the return call . Politeness demands that the person upon whom you called will return the call, so expect to see her within a few days. If she does not call, assume that she does not wish to continue the acquaintance.
THE ETIQUETTE OF THE CALLING CARD
• Keep your card simple . Calling cards are useful items, for they provide a way to identify oneself and provide vital information to one’s acquaintances. Your cards will have your name and, if applicable, the days that you are “at home” to receive callers. Plain black script on a fine white card, perhaps with a simple border, is proper and elegant.
• When you arrive in town, leave cards at the homes of each of your acquaintances . Your card will act as an announcement of your arrival and your readiness for receiving callers.
• Do not leave your card for a gentleman . A gentleman may leave his card for a lady, or more properly, for her parents or chaperones, but it is improper for an unmarried woman to leave her card for an unmarried man.
• Pay calls when they are required . Leave your card or pay a formal call after you are invited to dinner or a party at someone’s house, when someone is new to the neighborhood, to visit a newly married bride, and when there is a death in someone’s family. Gentlemen should call on their dancing partners the day after a ball.
• When you pay a call, present your card to the butler . He will admit you and place the card in a dish or bowl near the door.
• If you are arriving for a dinner party or ball, place the card in the bowl yourself .
• If a person of high rank calls upon you, subtly leave their card where it may be seen by others . Do not make it seem as though you are displaying the card on purpose. Looking through the cards at other people’s houses is somewhat unbecoming, but everyone does it—that’s why you leave them out!
HOW TO BEHAVE AT A DINNER PARTY
Mr. Collins was carefully instructing them in what they were to expect, that the sight of such rooms, so many servants, and so splendid a dinner might not wholly overpower them
. — P RIDE AND P REJUDICE
Family meals generally consist of only a few dishes, but formal dinner parties tend to be elaborate affairs, with at least two courses plus dessert. The table will be laid with a tremendous amount of food; the cuisine offered might include several cuts of meat, poultry, fish, pies, vegetables, puddings, “made dishes” or ragouts (dishes combining several foods, baked or stewed with sauce), and even sweet fare such as custards or trifle. And you can eat with your fingers!
GOING IN TO DINNER
1. The host and hostess will escort the highest-ranking guest of the opposite sex into thedining room.
2. Allow those of higher rank to go in ahead of you. New brides are also given precedence for a few months after their marriage. Truly genteel persons will not insist on the observance of strict precedence, but there always will be a pill who will make a fuss over having his or her rank respected. Surreptitiously complain about him or her to the other guests.
3. Sit at the table according to rank. The host and hostess will sit together at the higher end of the table, or one at eitherend, and will invite the highest-ranking guests to sit next to them. The other guests will take their places accordingly. With a little luck and contrivance, you might be seated next to the object of
• Stay for the proper time . A formal morning call lasts from a quarter of an hour to half an hour. You may stay longer if you are particular friends with the person upon whom you are calling.
• Prepare to receive the return call . Politeness demands that the person upon whom you called will return the call, so expect to see her within a few days. If she does not call, assume that she does not wish to continue the acquaintance.
THE ETIQUETTE OF THE CALLING CARD
• Keep your card simple . Calling cards are useful items, for they provide a way to identify oneself and provide vital information to one’s acquaintances. Your cards will have your name and, if applicable, the days that you are “at home” to receive callers. Plain black script on a fine white card, perhaps with a simple border, is proper and elegant.
• When you arrive in town, leave cards at the homes of each of your acquaintances . Your card will act as an announcement of your arrival and your readiness for receiving callers.
• Do not leave your card for a gentleman . A gentleman may leave his card for a lady, or more properly, for her parents or chaperones, but it is improper for an unmarried woman to leave her card for an unmarried man.
• Pay calls when they are required . Leave your card or pay a formal call after you are invited to dinner or a party at someone’s house, when someone is new to the neighborhood, to visit a newly married bride, and when there is a death in someone’s family. Gentlemen should call on their dancing partners the day after a ball.
• When you pay a call, present your card to the butler . He will admit you and place the card in a dish or bowl near the door.
• If you are arriving for a dinner party or ball, place the card in the bowl yourself .
• If a person of high rank calls upon you, subtly leave their card where it may be seen by others . Do not make it seem as though you are displaying the card on purpose. Looking through the cards at other people’s houses is somewhat unbecoming, but everyone does it—that’s why you leave them out!
HOW TO BEHAVE AT A DINNER PARTY
Mr. Collins was carefully instructing them in what they were to expect, that the sight of such rooms, so many servants, and so splendid a dinner might not wholly overpower them
. — P RIDE AND P REJUDICE
Family meals generally consist of only a few dishes, but formal dinner parties tend to be elaborate affairs, with at least two courses plus dessert. The table will be laid with a tremendous amount of food; the cuisine offered might include several cuts of meat, poultry, fish, pies, vegetables, puddings, “made dishes” or ragouts (dishes combining several foods, baked or stewed with sauce), and even sweet fare such as custards or trifle. And you can eat with your fingers!
GOING IN TO DINNER
1. The host and hostess will escort the highest-ranking guest of the opposite sex into thedining room.
2. Allow those of higher rank to go in ahead of you. New brides are also given precedence for a few months after their marriage. Truly genteel persons will not insist on the observance of strict precedence, but there always will be a pill who will make a fuss over having his or her rank respected. Surreptitiously complain about him or her to the other guests.
3. Sit at the table according to rank. The host and hostess will sit together at the higher end of the table, or one at eitherend, and will invite the highest-ranking guests to sit next to them. The other guests will take their places accordingly. With a little luck and contrivance, you might be seated next to the object of
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