The Human Division by John Scalzi

her team are going to beat their brains in to get them.”
    “And destroy their ships to get them, apparently,” Egan said. “This fire team idea of yours could get expensive, fast.”
    “What’s the plan for the Clarke ’s crew?” Rigney asked.
    “It hasn’t been decided,” Egan said. “We might put Abumwe and her diplomatic team on a different ship. Coloma’s going to have to face an inquiry about intentionally putting her ship in the path of a missile. She’s going to get cleared, but it’s still a process. Wilson’s on loan from CDF Research and Development. Presumably at some point they’re going to want him back.”
    “Do you think you could put any decisions on the Clarke ’s crew on hold for a few weeks?” Rigney asked.
    “You seem awfully excited about these people,” Egan said. “But even if I did put them in career limbo for your own amusement, there’s no guarantee the secretary would sign off on your ‘fire team’ concept.”
    “Would it help if the CDF had a list of fires it would prefer to be put out through diplomacy than gunfire?” Rigney asked.
    “Ah,” Egan said. “ Now we’re getting to it. And I can already tell you how that idea’s going to go over. When I first joined the secretary’s team as CDF liaison, it took her six weeks to have a conversation with me longer than three words, all monosyllables. If I come to her with a list of requests from the CDF and a handpicked team, she’ll communicate to me with grunts.”
    “All the more reason to use this team,” Rigney said. “It’s full of nobodies. She’ll think she’s screwing us. Tell her about the request and then suggest these people. It’ll work brilliantly.”
    “Would you like me to ask her not to throw you in the briar patch while I’m at it?” Egan asked.
    “Just this one request for now,” Rigney said.
    Egan was quiet for a few moments as she picked at her fries. Rigney finished his burger and waited.
    “I’ll take her temperature on it,” Egan said, finally. “But if I were you, I wouldn’t get my hopes up.”
    “I never get my hopes up,” Rigney said. “It’s how I’ve lived this long.”
    “And in the meantime I’ll keep the Clarke crew from being reassigned elsewhere,” Egan said.
    “Thank you,” Rigney said.
    “You owe me,” Egan said.
    “Of course I do,” Rigney said.
    “Now I have to go,” Egan said, pushing up from the table. “More children to scare.”
    “You have fun with that,” Rigney said.
    “You know I do,” Egan said. She turned to go.
    “Hey, Liz,” Rigney said. “That estimate you give the kids, the one about humans having thirty years before we’re extinct. How much exaggeration is in that?”
    “Do you want the truth?” Egan asked.
    “Yes,” Rigney said.
    “Almost none at all,” Egan said. “If anything, it’s optimistic.”
    She left. Rigney stared at the remains of their meal.
    “Well, hell,” he said. “If we’re doomed, maybe I will have that second cheeseburger after all.”

 
    EPISODE TWO
    Walk the Plank
     
     
    [Transcript Begins]
    CHENZIRA EL-MASRI:  —okay, I’m not really interested in who you have in the medical bay, Aurel. Right now I’m focused on finding those damn cargo containers. If we don’t track those down, it’s not going to be a very happy next few months around here.
    AUREL SPURLEA: If I didn’t think the two of them were related, I wouldn’t be bothering you, Chen. Are you recording this, Magda?
    MAGDA GANAS: Just started the recorder.
    SPURLEA: Chen, the guy in the sick bay isn’t from around here.
    EL-MASRI: What do you mean, “not from around here”? We’re a wildcat colony. It’s not like there’s anywhere else to be from around here.
    SPURLEA: He says he’s from the Erie Morningstar .
    EL-MASRI: That doesn’t make any sense. The Erie Morningstar isn’t supposed to be landing anyone. It’s supposed to be sending down the containers on autopilot. The whole point of doing it this way is to