opened and Titus stepped into the room. “You know, you’re not doing yourself or the kinner any good by pulling away like you have,” he said, taking a seat on the edge of the bed.
“I’m not pulling away.”
“Jah, you are. You won’t join the kinner in anything they do that’s fun, and—”
Samuel leaped to his feet and started pacing. “I can’t do anything fun! I’m miserable without Elsie. Not that I’d expect you to understand.” He stopped pacing and whirled around to face Titus. “You’ve never lost a mate, and you have no idea how empty I feel without Elsie. The pain is unbearable. It’s like my heart has been torn in two.”
“I know you’re hurting, and you’re right, I don’t understand, but Mom and Dad do. As you well know, they both lost their first mates, and I’m sure it wasn’t easy for either of them.” Titus stepped up to Samuel and placed his hand on his shoulder. “Maybe someday, when the time is right, you’ll find someone else, the way our folks did.”
White hot anger boiled in Samuel’s chest as he glared at his brother, hoping he would get the point. “I am never getting married again. Don’t you get it? No one could ever take Elsie’s place in my heart!”
Titus blinked and held up his hand. “Of course not. You don’t have to get so riled. I just meant—”
“I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I need to be alone.” Samuel grabbed his jacket and stormed out of the room. “Why can’t everyone just leave me alone and quit telling me how I’m supposed to feel?” he mumbled under his breath.
“Sorry I forgot to bring my sled,” Suzanne said as she and Esther trudged through the snow behind the children and Lucky, their exuberant Lab.
“That’s okay. We can manage with the three I brought.” Esther smiled. “I think this is going to be a fun day for all of us, don’t you?”
Suzanne exhaled, releasing a sigh. “I suppose.”
“Are you disappointed because Titus didn’t come with us?”
“Jah, but I understand why he felt the need to stay with his bruder.”
“Do you think Samuel will ever get over his wife’s death?” Esther asked, knowing everyone dealt with grief in their own way, at their own pace.
“I hope so, but I think it’ll take some time, just as it did for my mamm when my daed died. From what Titus has told me, Elsie was the love of Samuel’s life, and the two of them were really looking forward to having another child, so losing the boppli she carried made it that much harder for Samuel.”
“I’m sure it did. I just hate to see him looking so sad.”
“I know, but until he’s able to come to grips with his loss, there isn’t much any of us can do but pray for him and offer support.”
They walked in silence for a while; then Esther said, “I don’t think Samuel likes me.”
“How come?”
“He doesn’t say much whenever I’m around, and when he does, he won’t look at me.”
“Titus was like that with me when he first moved to Kentucky,” Suzanne said. “It really bothered me, too.”
“But that was because you reminded him of his ex-girlfriend, Phoebe.”
Suzanne nodded. “I was so relieved when he chose me over her.”
“Have you heard anything about how she’s doing since she went back to Pennsylvania?”
“From the few things Titus’s mamm has told him, I gather that Phoebe’s getting along pretty well and has even decided to join the church.”
“Is she being courted by anyone there?”
Suzanne shrugged. “I don’t think so, but I don’t know for sure. Titus doesn’t talk about her much anymore, and I’m glad. When Phoebe showed up here out of the blue, it was hard for me, and I felt insecure about my relationship with Titus.”
“But things are okay between you now, aren’t they?”
“For the moment, they are. If Samuel doesn’t mess them up, that is.”
“What do you mean?”
“Samuel’s always around, and I miss not having the quality time Titus and I used
“I’m not pulling away.”
“Jah, you are. You won’t join the kinner in anything they do that’s fun, and—”
Samuel leaped to his feet and started pacing. “I can’t do anything fun! I’m miserable without Elsie. Not that I’d expect you to understand.” He stopped pacing and whirled around to face Titus. “You’ve never lost a mate, and you have no idea how empty I feel without Elsie. The pain is unbearable. It’s like my heart has been torn in two.”
“I know you’re hurting, and you’re right, I don’t understand, but Mom and Dad do. As you well know, they both lost their first mates, and I’m sure it wasn’t easy for either of them.” Titus stepped up to Samuel and placed his hand on his shoulder. “Maybe someday, when the time is right, you’ll find someone else, the way our folks did.”
White hot anger boiled in Samuel’s chest as he glared at his brother, hoping he would get the point. “I am never getting married again. Don’t you get it? No one could ever take Elsie’s place in my heart!”
Titus blinked and held up his hand. “Of course not. You don’t have to get so riled. I just meant—”
“I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I need to be alone.” Samuel grabbed his jacket and stormed out of the room. “Why can’t everyone just leave me alone and quit telling me how I’m supposed to feel?” he mumbled under his breath.
“Sorry I forgot to bring my sled,” Suzanne said as she and Esther trudged through the snow behind the children and Lucky, their exuberant Lab.
“That’s okay. We can manage with the three I brought.” Esther smiled. “I think this is going to be a fun day for all of us, don’t you?”
Suzanne exhaled, releasing a sigh. “I suppose.”
“Are you disappointed because Titus didn’t come with us?”
“Jah, but I understand why he felt the need to stay with his bruder.”
“Do you think Samuel will ever get over his wife’s death?” Esther asked, knowing everyone dealt with grief in their own way, at their own pace.
“I hope so, but I think it’ll take some time, just as it did for my mamm when my daed died. From what Titus has told me, Elsie was the love of Samuel’s life, and the two of them were really looking forward to having another child, so losing the boppli she carried made it that much harder for Samuel.”
“I’m sure it did. I just hate to see him looking so sad.”
“I know, but until he’s able to come to grips with his loss, there isn’t much any of us can do but pray for him and offer support.”
They walked in silence for a while; then Esther said, “I don’t think Samuel likes me.”
“How come?”
“He doesn’t say much whenever I’m around, and when he does, he won’t look at me.”
“Titus was like that with me when he first moved to Kentucky,” Suzanne said. “It really bothered me, too.”
“But that was because you reminded him of his ex-girlfriend, Phoebe.”
Suzanne nodded. “I was so relieved when he chose me over her.”
“Have you heard anything about how she’s doing since she went back to Pennsylvania?”
“From the few things Titus’s mamm has told him, I gather that Phoebe’s getting along pretty well and has even decided to join the church.”
“Is she being courted by anyone there?”
Suzanne shrugged. “I don’t think so, but I don’t know for sure. Titus doesn’t talk about her much anymore, and I’m glad. When Phoebe showed up here out of the blue, it was hard for me, and I felt insecure about my relationship with Titus.”
“But things are okay between you now, aren’t they?”
“For the moment, they are. If Samuel doesn’t mess them up, that is.”
“What do you mean?”
“Samuel’s always around, and I miss not having the quality time Titus and I used
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