Don't Explain by Audrey Dacey

then said, “I think you should come
back with me for a few days. Take a vacation. Stay with me for a week. I don’t
want this to be the end.”
    Caitlyn shook her head, “I can’t leave right now, not when I am just
getting started. I’m floundering as it is. I can’t just ditch it for a week
right now and hope when I get back I have customers.”
    “I guess not.” Michael sighed. “I have to go do some stuff. Do you want
to do something for dinner? I can make something, or we can go out.”
    “I guess.”
    “I'll see you when you get home then?”
    Caitlyn didn’t look at him. “I think it would be better if you stayed in
the motel.”
    Michael’s chest ached, and he knew that she was going to shut down on him.
“Fair enough. Can I pick you up then?”
    “Fine.” Caitlyn sat staring hopelessly at the door, and Michael turned to
leave. The coffee shop was empty, and it was only noon. But as he stepped on
out into the parking lot, she closed the door and clicked the deadbolt into
place. He watched as she closed the blinds, closing him out completely. He had
no idea how he was going to make this right, if that was even possible.

Chapter 8
    The day had passed and Caitlyn successfully dodged all of Michael's
attempts to contact her. At first she thought that she could get over it, and
they could continue on as before until he left, but the thought of that crushed
her. Instead, she decided that she wanted to leave their momentary relationship
where it was and not move forward, standstill, or recap what had happened with
him. He was going to go back to Sacramento, and at this point she mostly wanted
him to go back.
    Caitlyn noticed after she got home that Michael had called her cell phone
and left a message. He wanted to talk to her and make sure that she understood
what was really going on. Caitlyn was positive that she had clearly received
his intentions, so she deleted the message without a second thought.
    That evening he came to her house, but she didn't answer the door.
Instead, she locked herself in the bathroom and took a shower, partially to
distract her from her thoughts and partially to keep herself from letting him
in.
    After an hour long alternating hot-cold shower, she was pretty sure he
was gone. So, she dried her hair, got dressed and walked three doors down to
Alexis’s house. While her pride was profound, her sadness was more so, and she
needed a friend. Alexis let her in immediately and poured two glasses of wine.
She listened to Caitlyn fill her in on what she had missed and occasionally
threw in a “that bastard” or “what an asshole” for good measure.
    Even though the tapping of Alexis’s foot and kneading of her hands told
Caitlyn that she really wanted to let loose with an “I told you so,” she never
passed judgment.
    Caitlyn admitted that Michael was her first love and, until recently, an
undeclared love.
    “You have a right to be upset, especially since Michael knew that you’d
been in love with him. It’s no wonder you’re such a prude. The only man you
ever loved showed no interest in you sexually. Well, I mean until now.”
    Caitlyn didn’t really buy it. She’d had sex with other men. “It’s not
that I don’t think men want me—though they’re not as forthcoming with their
desire to be with me as they are with you. It’s just that I don’t really have a
desire to be desired by them.”
    Alexis smacked her hand down on her breakfast bar, startling Caitlyn who
nearly spit the sip of wine she had just taken on her friend. “Holy shit. You
were in love with him the whole time weren’t you?”
    Caitlyn gulped down the wine in her mouth. “I hadn’t thought about him
for years until he showed up.”
    Alexis shook her head vigorously, “No, it doesn’t matter. You were
totally in love with him the whole time. There’s nothing else that could
explain it.”
    “Explain what?” Caitlyn didn’t really want to hear Alexis’s crazy idea,
but she might as well